Relationship & Sexuality Counselling Specialists

OZ tantra are Relationship Counselling Specialists

  • About
    • About Oz Tantra – Tantric Relationship Advice
    • About Graeme Sudholz
    • About Annette Baulch
    • Oztantra Media
    • Speakers Page
  • Relationship Counselling
    • Coming Together Book: Solving The Mystery of Intimate Sex and Relationship
    • Hot Relationship Topics
    • Relationship Counselling
      • Couples Ultimate Getaway Byron Bay
      • Oz Tantra On Line Relationship Course
      • Oztantra V.I.P
    • Online Relationship Counselling
  • Sex
    • Coming Together Book Contents
    • Hot Sex Topics
    • Sex Counselling
    • Sexual Healing
      • Healing Sexual Abuse
      • Yoni Healing for Women
      • Lingam Healing
      • Beat Your Porn Addiction With Tantra
    • What is Tantric Sex REALLY Like?
      • Tantric Coaching online
      • Couples Tantra Sessions
      • Individual Tantra Sessions for Women
      • Individual Tantra Sessions for Men
    • What Is Tantra?
    • How Tantra Prevents Boredom in the Bedroom…
    • Preventing Premature Ejaculation
      • Multi Orgasmic Man
      • Tantric Sex for Men – Podcasts
      • Separating Ejaculation and Orgasm
    • Gspot
  • Events
    • Couples Ultimate Getaway Byron Bay
    • Workshop Schedule
    • Retreats
      • Ecstasy and Intimacy Couples Retreat Bali
      • Couples Retreat Australia Ecstasy & Intimacy
      • Private Couples Retreats
    • Weekend Workshops
      • Power of Yoni – Explore the essence of who you are as a woman
      • Sexuality of the Heart
      • Oz Tantra On Line Relationship Course
      • Oztantra V.I.P
  • Blogs
    • Oztantra Blog
    • Previous Blog Posts
    • Videos
    • Tantric Lover Podcasts
  • Contact
    • Contact Us – Annette and Graeme at Oz Tantra
  • Articles
    • Articles
    • Hot Relationship Topics
    • Blog’s
    • Hot Sex Topics

It’s the little things that will save your relationship

January 11, 2018 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Little things make a big difference in relationship…

All it takes is a little attention on your part.

What a wonderful intention to set for the New Year…

A concrete way of building connection and sustainability…

When we think of loving connection with our partners, as the thing that might keep relationship thriving for the long run, we can have in mind some romantic movie star moment of running into our partners arms on the beach, dinner in fancy restaurants or nights of really hot sex.

But studies by John M Gottman Phd have shown that it’s the little things we do in our relationships on a consistent basis that build the glue to keep us together for the long run.

In fact, the presence or absence of these things even predict the potential future of a relationship.

If these little moments of connection are happening, the likelihood of your relationship surviving, even thriving, is significant.

Gottman says that moments of connection are like an emotional bank account. When you’ve built them up to a sizeable tally you’re more likely to survive the moments of stress and fracture that occur in any relationship, due to the strength of connection stored in your ‘bank’.

It’s these little moments that can be so easy to lose in the busyness of our daily lives, caught up in our own heads; or to take for granted that they will happen without effort on our part.

But if you knew they would make the difference between happy ever after and the divorce court would you be motivated to make the effort?

What kind of things are we talking about here?

Well yes, there are the usual things like flowers and chocolates, or dressing up in lingerie. But they don’t even need to be as obvious as these.

Here are just a few we’ve complied:

  • Bothering to reply when your partner makes a comment
  • Doing kind things such as grabbing them a coffee on your way home
  • Looking them in the eye when they’re speaking, giving them your full attention
  • Asking about things you know are of interest to them
  • Sharing a smile that has a hint of sexual fire (without agenda)
  • Holding back that critical remark or cutting comment and taking a breath instead
  • Listening without giving advice
  • Touching the small of their back as you pass by them
  • Offering to massage their neck, shoulders, hands or feet (without sexual agenda)
  • Sharing a 10 second melting hug
  • Making your partner laugh in the middle of an argument
  • Watching TV or a movie together
  • Eating breakfast together
  • Choosing to go somewhere your spouse wants to go
  • Offering a sexual treat
  • Be willing to say I’m sorry
  • Shopping for groceries togetherSexuality of the Heart
  • Going for a walk or walking the dog together
  • Working at home, but still together in some way
  • Sharing a slow kiss
  • Gardening or washing the car together
  • Attending your children’s performances together
  • Sharing a sport, interest or hobby
  • Sharing a challenging task you can complete together
  • Supporting a point of view that is important to your partner by finding a positive in it
  • Validating them in their moment of vulnerability
  • Choosing to share some vulnerability of your own
  • Add in some of your own…

Some of these may sound so obvious as to not even need mentioning but in modern lives they no longer automatically happen. They’re powerful because they develop an important sense of “we” in your relationship.

Warning!Tangled rope on a pole

It’s important not to keep a tally of your partner’s acts of connection in order to build up a grievance against them. Instead focus on what you can do, rather than what you can’t.

If you feel resistant to the idea of doing things with, or for your partner take some time to feel into your resistance and get clear on what is behind it, don’t just ignore it.

If you offer and your partner is resistant, let their reaction be about where they are at, not you. Breathe your feelings of rejection into your heart and out through your body releasing them. Try again another time.

3 suggestions of things you can do that really touch your partner’s heart

To decrease your chances of rejection and increase the effectiveness of your moments of connection invite your partner to give you 3 suggestions of things you can do that really touch their hearts. Often when we want to give to, or connect with our partners we think of ways that work for us, when they may not hit the spot at all for our significant other. If we have something we know will really reach them (even if they seem irrelevant to us) it’s a lot easier to reach out with success.Authentic Intimacy

Share 3 things with your partner that really work for you, so they have a ready selection to choose from too. Avoid things that are a source of trigger between you, this is about connection not frustration.

Some great ways to bring some new life into the most treasured area of your life – your intimate relationship, that could literally mean the difference between the life and death of it.

If you would like to learn many more ways to connect join one of our events, a weekend or treat yourselves to a whole week!

Go To Hot Relationship Topics

 

Filed Under: Relationships, Uncategorized Tagged With: Connection, Save Your Relationship

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CONTACT US:

Graeme 0457 966 696
Annette 0437 966 696

or Email us here

Sign Up for Our Fortnightly Newsletter

newsletter-sign-up

Read Our Previous Newsletter Articles

Sovereign Goddess Newsletter

Sovereign Goddess Logo

Women: Join here to discover your self loving and self empowered and pleasure filled self!

 

 

Online Counselling

couple viewing computer screen

Receive on point support for your relationship from the comfort of your own home!

Couples Getaways

InquireLennox Beach Resort about our Ultimate Couples Getaways!

Couples Retreats

Join us for our
happy couple in IntimacyEcstasy & Intimacy Retreats
Sadly we announce that all retreats
have been cancelled in response to
COVID 19 until further notice.

Oztantra Links

Blog  |  Media  |  Workshops  |  Books/DVDs

Lost That Loving Feeling?

Re-Ignite Your Spark Online Relationship Course

Coming Together

CLICK HERE for our book on all things
relationship, intimacy & sex
to last a lifetime.
ORDER NOW!

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Have a question?

PH 1800 TANTRA (1800 826 872)

 

Recent Posts

  • A Soft Cock: to Love or Not to Love? February 23, 2023
  • Wet does not always mean horny and dry does not always show disinterest. February 7, 2023
  • Are You Dancing in the Full Spectrum of Sex? January 26, 2023
  • Make 2023 the year to take your relationship to the next level January 5, 2023

logo.png

Facebook Twitter Youtube

  • Oztantra Webinar’s – Relationship and Sexuality
  • Q and A – Frequently asked Questions Answered
  • Links
  • The Art of Relationship Creating- Meaningful Intimate Relationships
  • Emotional Intelligence, What is it?
  • Depression…making light of it
  • Breathwork Sessions
  • Lasting Longer for Men
  • Female Sexuality for Women
  • Beat Your Porn Addiction With Tantra
  • Tantric Meditations
  • What Is Tantra?
  • What is Tantric Sex REALLY Like? – Oz Tantra
  • Multi Orgasmic Man
  • Separating Ejaculation and Orgasm
  • Tantra Massage
  • How to Become a Tantric Lover
  • Cobra Breath – The Cosmic Cobra Breath
  • The Art of Self Pleasure
  • Man To Man Talk With Graeme
  • Woman to Woman Talk with Annette
  • Gspot – Oztantra
  • The Power of Reverse Polarity

Copyright © 2023 ·Beautiful Pro Theme · Genesis Framework by StudioPress · WordPress · Log in