Artificial Intelligence (AI) is everywhere today. 

AI is incredibly fast and expansive. Whether we know it or not, we are seeing it daily. In the websites we see, the articles we read, the videos we watch and the ads in our faces.

We are not here to judge whether AI is right or wrong, it’s here no matter what.

We’re here to help you make the most of it in your love lives…

What AI is capable of is providing us with… 

is more and more intellectual knowledge, about everything from A to Z. 

According to AI, there are nearly 12,000 data centres in the world, a number that is on the increase. Storing information about everything we can imagine and more, including information about us.

The interesting thing to remember is that AI is a service. Focussing on information from our and other algorithms, AI tells us what it believes we most want to hear, rather than what is most correct. It makes us feel right, legitimized, authorized, enabled etc, whether this is actually true or not.

As we spend hours scrolling through our computer screens, or smart phones, we enter into its programmed, perfect world. Often taking it at face value.

How does this impact our love lives?

What do most people say they love about their love lives, and the pleasure that goes with them? It makes them feel good.

The important word here is “FEEL”.

People describe feeling loving, happy, excited, inspired, nervous, aroused, warm, open, connected, orgasmic and more. All feeling words.

Where do we feel our feelings? 

In our bodies.

(And a little in our thoughts.)

We feel in our hearts, stomachs, genitals and all over our bodies. Tingling, tickling, awakening, drowning, softening, enjoying and more.

Where does AI keep us? 

Thinking, judging, planning, critiquing, outside of our internal reality.

AI can “talk about” feelings and emotions, it can describe them in intimate detail, but it does not experience them. 

And neither do we when we are reading it.

We might “think our feelings”, in our heads, which is where AI wants us to be. 

But we are not fully feeling them inside of us, in our bodies, in the here and now.

Our Internal Reality is Where Our Love Lives Happen.

So AI can help by reminding us to spend time away from it. 

To get off our screens and turn to our partners. 

To really see, feel and enjoy the reality of YOU with THEM.

To breathe into, and expand the feelings we enjoy. Including love, pleasure, connection and orgasm.

To breathe through, and past the feelings we find uncomfortable, so they no longer separate us.

To be fully in the here and now, outside of external control. With ourselves and each other.

With ourselves and with our families and/or friends.

This is the gift you can choose over this Easter holiday period.

To take the time out to fully be in the here and now, with each other, to discover, enjoy and share what is real!

And if you want more of this, or support to work with any uncomfortable feelings call 1800 TANTRA or email here. (Note: All contact is confidential – no AI!)

Because the skills to make love and to thrive crazy are the same…

There is so much going on in the world at the moment
it’s easy to feel like you’re out of control. 

If it’s not negotiating work hours, navigating children/family activities,
it’s managing budgets, your internal stress or finding “you” time. 

From a background of trying to understand the politics screaming at you on social media and how they might affect you. 

None of which can sound very sexy…

Yet it’s just what Annette and Graeme (we)
have found as the very motivation for connection these days,
even if it starts out as the exact opposite!

Annette and Graeme share this with you, as it has become our most common way of connecting. It’s been about about letting go of all the external ideals, rules and should’s that we’ve been taught about connecting with each other. About how it should look. Because all of these ideas have come from outside of us, or from our past, and haven’t really been authentic to us.

Doing the following steps has stopped us from hiding from each other, and given us the power to be real with ourselves, and with each other. 

Which has allowed the energy to flow between us in many and surprising ways.

Learning to be connected to ourselves, and real with each other, is helping us deal with all the ‘craziness’ of the world around us.

And from our feedback, it is working with our clients as well…

The part they can benefit from a hand with is being able to connect with, and express themselves as they are, where we are happy to be of support.

Because all of this stuff, even though it can seem extremely important, 
actually happens on the outside of us.

Making love, being sexual, or even just connecting,
demands us to connect with the inside of us.
Which is the most vital, life affirming and thriving part of us.

It’s first about how you are feeling,
and then how you connect.

In order to do this you and your partner can try the following:

1. Agree to take the time to connect. 
This can be challenging, believe it is worth it!

2. Drop any expectations of how it should look.

3. Show up as you are, connect with the inside of you and share it.Even if it is messy; when you own it as yours, it works. Acknowledge each other here, because it can be a scary, yet healing and transformative thing to do.

4. Share what you most desire in this moment.
(It doesn’t need to be the same as your partner, or fill any sexual playbook.It can be to share, pause and breathe, or have a long hug. Or it can be very hot and sexy, there are no wrong answers).

5. Express yourself, and hear your partner, without judgement.(This can feel so good it’s all you need!)

6. Feel into how you can make both desires happen,in a way that works for both of you. Be open minded and get creative here.Once you start desiring it can be surprising what arises.

7. Get started and enjoy yourselves!(Remember to breathe deeply along the way, as this expands everything and makes it better.)

8. If one of you needs an orgasm to feel completed and it hasn’t happened as part of your desires, make it ok for you/them to do it themselves to finish.

9. Compliment each other after and even celebrate your mutual outcome, for celebration is powerfully motivating!

10. Take the nourishment and awakening this brings to help you make the most of you in the rest of your lives.

Make the most of what is yours!

Going one layer deeper…

Is it a desire, or a fear?

Last newsletter we talked about this idea of one partner for life. It seemed to resonate with a lot of you.

So this time we’re looking at going one level deeper in relationship- how the relationship you have with yourself affects the one you have with your partner. See how to gain clarity in just x 5 mins per day!

In a world of endless options and swipe-right dating, the idea of staying with one partner for life can feel… well, suffocating, if not downright terrifying. 

Once upon a time, it was the norm—relationships were for life, and people rarely questioned it. But today, things are different. The illusion of infinite choice has changed how we see love, commitment, and even ourselves.

And in this time of instability and change across much of the whole world, can we believe in stability and longevity?

Many people now ask: Can one person really meet all my relational needs—mentally, emotionally, sexually, spiritually—for decades?

We enter modern relationships with massive expectations. We want our partner to be everything: lover, best friend, co-parent, adventure buddy, life coach, therapist and soulmate—all while we hold on tightly to our individual identities. We expect relationships to provide both security and excitement, belonging and autonomy, mystery and predictability. It’s a paradox, and a tall order for anyone.

The truth is, the magic we seek in love still exists—but it isn’t just about finding the “perfect” person. Or even the perfect persons, if you’re into more than one. That magic lives in the deep work of intimacy, in showing up authentically and vulnerably. Especially over time.

Real intimacy challenges us. It pushes our buttons, yet it’s where the magic lives. It allows us to blossom like a flower in the warm sun. It brings up our past wounds so they can be healed. Real relationship is like a mirror—it reflects to us the beauty, and also the shadow parts of ourselves.

At Oztantra, we believe your No. 1 relationship is the one you have with yourself. And what you bring into your relationship with another shapes the connection you create with you. 

So the question becomes, not why isn’t my partner meeting my needs and desires in the exact way that I want them to? It’s whether you’re bringing your best self into your relationship, or just your expectations and frustrations?

Are you bringing complaints and high expectations of your partner and holding them to standards you are not willing to hold yourself to? 

Are you protecting your own fears and vulnerabilities as you stay inside your own little emotional box and making your partner wrong?

Where are you willing to stand up and be seen in your relationship, rather than hiding?

Where are you giving your relationship active priority? 

Where are you creating your relationship, rather than expecting it to be done for you?

Your partner can’t be in relationship with you when you are on your phone, slumped in front of the tv, at your computer, out with friends all the time or still at work. 

You can create intimate relationship by meeting your own needs:

• by exercising after work and allowing the feel good chemicals from exercise flow into a happy desire to see your partner at the end of the day
• by meditating on the love in your heart for yourself and coming to your partner from a place of fullness, not resentment.
• Sleeping separately for a couple of nights to reconnect with yourself and see your relationship self more clearly.
• Inviting your partner to share something enjoyable with you, and helping them remove obstacles to doing so.

Instead of being in judgment of your partner can you see them as a person just like you? Someone who dearly wants connection, just like you? Who is probably trying just as hard (or not trying) as you, and as uncertain as you? 

How about seeing them as just like you, rather than as your enemy? 

Can you give them a warm hug, rather than a cold shoulder?

You can also do this by seeing your own shadow, rather than focussing on theirs.

X 5 mins a day to change your relationship

Even just giving yourself x 5 minutes of your full presence a day whilst with your partner can create a powerful shift in your relationship. Whether you believe your partner wants to be with you or not.

Being in the here and now moment with your partner can help you see yourself more clearly. Shining a light on your truth, rather than on a (self affirming ego) story in your head.

Not by trying to fix your relationship. Just by:

• Actively being with your partner, (putting your phone down). 
• Being aware of yourself and how you’re showing up, or not, with them.
• Actively seeing your partner as human, just like you, rather than your enemy, and noticing how YOU are being.
• Are you open or closed? Judgemental or accepting? Offering or avoidant? What walls do you have up right now and how can you lower tham a little?
• What could you choose to bring right now in this moment, that is relationship affirming?

No matter how your partner responds, this is about YOU. Being in your heart, being connected to yourself and being truly open to what might happen. It can be magical.

It’s not always about finding someone new when things get tough (though on occasion it needs to be, when all options are exhausted). Because if you haven’t cleared the mirror to seeing yourself in this relationship, from your fog you’ll just recreate your lessons in the next. Your new partner will somehow seem to turn into to same one you just left, causing you the same frustrations.

It’s about learning how to see—and be seen—by yourself, and by the person already in front of you. Sometimes, even just five minutes a day of full presence can create a powerful shift. For people are magnetised to our presence, our aliveness and our self ownership. Really. That’s the kind of magic that lasts.

Start here. Start with you.

Do you feel safe enough to actually have an all out, explosive, toe curling, full body orgasm?

Or even a endless, flowing, nurturing orgasm that leaves you uplifted?

Learn what orgasmic priming is and how it can help!

Did you know that so often we hold back in our deepest, most powerful surrender into pleasure and orgasm? 

And that we do this because our bodies, and our nervous systems, hold so much negative conditioning around pleasure and sexuality?

This conditioning that tells us it’s NOT SAFE to be that sexy, that surrendered, that ecstatic?

That it’s much safer to put on the brakes, to say “No” to expanded pleasure?

It’s not that we aren’t capable of moving into the most powerful pleasure beyond our wildest dreams. It’s because our conditioning doesn’t allow us to.

Here we’ll show you how to move beyond this conditioning with a practice called orgasmic priming.

And the good news is that it only takes 1 minute!

We often misinterpret our bodies desire to keep us safe – its most important job.

Instead of thinking our bodies are trying to protect us we think that we’re just not capable of having a full on orgasm. Or that we’re not that sexy, or that sexual or not able to have an orgasm. Or a hundred and one other reasons.

And then likely comes the thought that we’re broken somehow. Or that we’re wrong somehow.

What’s actually happening is that our mind is full of stories about the wrongness of our sexual desires, the wrongness of us, even the wrongness of sex itself. Even if we don’t realise we have these thoughts. It’s our nervous systems way to say “Keep safe”, “Don’t go there!”

When we do orgasmic priming our bodies and our nervous systems realise that not only is this kind of orgasm possible, it’s TOTALLY SAFE to do so.

With this short and simple practice of orgasmic priming you can super charge your orgasmic potential and blow open your expanded pleasure. By letting your brain and your body know how safely accessible this is for you.

Orgasmic Priming: The How

Orgasmic priming involves using your 5 senses – sight, feel/touch, sound, smell and taste. Your 5 senses make it as real in your body and nervous system as possible, bringing you into a full body experience. This helps your safety systems to soften and allow your deepest potential for pleasure to arise.

It is good to do this practice for a self pleasure orgasm (self pleasure is a highly rated tantric skill) AND one with a partner, at different times. This is because your body and your nervous system can behave differently in each of these situations. So it’s great to develop this skill set for both.

1. Set your timer for just 1 minute. For this minute fully delve into the experiences of your senses.
2. Close your eyes and see yourself having the most powerful, deepest and amazing orgasm that you desire. 
3. Sight: What do you see as you imagine yourself in the throes of a magnificent orgasm? Where are you? What are you doing? What are you wearing? How is your body moving? Where are you touching yourself? What is your lover looking like?
4. Feel/Touch: What are you feeling, what are the sensations, and where in your body? How open are you feeling? What emotions are you feeling? Where are you touching yourself and how does your own body feel to your touch? How does your lover’s body feel? Where are you touching them? Note: It is better to imagine yourself doing the touching, rather than your lover as this keeps the power of turn on in YOU.
5. Sound: What sounds are you hearing? Maybe there’s music in the background. Maybe you’re hearing your own breathing, your words or your sounds of pleasure, small or large. Or your lovers’ breath or the beautiful (or hot) words they’re whispering in your ear. 
6. Smell: Maybe there are scented oils in the room, in your perfume or the smells in nature. How does your body smell, what is its delicious turned on aroma? Or even what is your most favourite smell in the world? What is your lovers’ smell on their skin?
7. Taste: What can you taste? Run your tongue around in your mouth, how does it taste? How does your lover’s mouth taste? Imagine your most sensual foods being in your mouth and tasting them.

How often do you do this practice?

Set yourself the goal to do it every day for 1 week. 

Notice how your body responds after this. 

If your body is a yes, keep doing it, build on your orgasmic capabilities.

You can even bring it into your orgasmic routine, to create the most pleasurable orgasms you’re capable of on a regular basis. 

After all, it’s only for a minute.

So, are you ready to get started?