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You are here: Home / Separating Ejaculation and Orgasm

Separating Ejaculation and Orgasm

Lasting longer in bed is learning how to manage premature ejaculation…

Learning how to “Surf the edge..”

"Surfing the Edge"
“Surfing the Edge”

Learning how to not only last longer but also to achieve the holy grail in lovemaking of multiple orgasms..

Yes, men are multi orgasmic….

Lasting longer in bed and having better sex is everyman’s (and his partners) desire.

Lasting longer and enjoying pleasure is also your birth rite…

Learning how is simple, and you can start practicing with the tips on this page and see for yourself with immediate results….

Our newly released book has much more detail…

on top of what is already included in this website….

Coming Together Book

“Surfing the edge” is a key practise that is easy  to learn…

And, if you really want to ramp up your skills, check out our online course, or free podcasts..

Stopping Premature Ejaculation is easy, but Some Background First…

Obviously it is challenging for any man or couple who are sharing and experiencing this frustration to accept that Premature Ejaculation can also be a gift.

It is also possible that most men only feel their ejaculation pleasure, which feels good, but is different to orgasmic pleasure, which when experienced, will magnify his pleasure experience many times over.

Generally speaking, women understand this concept, and is why a competent tantrica has something to offer any man who desires to experience his own unique difference.

It is also crucial to find a man or men who has learnt these skills, especially once you have grasped the concept of separation.

Why “Premature Ejaculation can be a Gift”  and how to overcome it and become Multi orgasmic  Podcast: …. (this podcast is the first of a series in learning how to become Multi Orgasmic)

The gift is that if you’re suffering from premature ejaculation or feeling acutely trigger sensitive, it’s an indication that you’re highly emotionally heart sensitive, that your sensual heart feeling body is alive and well.

Learning to Last Longer also is learning how to become multi orgasmic…

(Here is a link to further podcasts for learning more of these skills and how to become multi orgasmic)

Trigger sensitivity is a physical body reaction against feeling acutely vulnerable during lovemaking.

In relationship, woman desires most of all to feel a man’s emotionally connected heart in all its power…, which is the number one aspect of becoming “the” ultimate tantric lover, being fully present with your open heart in connection with her.

Woman feels safe and connected in this intensity of heart energy. For a woman feeling safe and connected is key to her arousal system.

lasting longer loverAsk her how she feels about that ?

This is also a crucial aspect of becoming multi orgasmic, as orgasmic pleasure for a man is heart driven. Most men who have closed down their heart feel very little of their orgasmic pleasure.

Being trigger sensitive is simply your emotional body avoiding feeling pain or fear from vulnerability, especially in relationship, where you’re probably feeling your most vulnerable.

Being trigger sensitive and learning to last longer will enhance your feeling and heart openness with yourself  in your relationship

Heart connected sensitivity, both physically and emotionally, simply means you’re deeply heart sensitive in feeling, and that’s a good thing.

Learning Tantra to Manage and Master Premature Ejaculation will lead you into full bodied multiple orgasms..

Simply  enhancing your heart feeling intensity in a healthy way is essential in creating full bodied multiple orgasms.

It also means that learning how to become Multi orgasmic will be so much easier, because for a man, heart connected sensuality is essential for him to feel his full bodied pleasure.

Using the Tantric techniques outlined in these pages is about increasing ejaculation energy and recirculating it back through your whole body as orgasmic pleasure.

Imagine a pot on a gas burner, full of orgasmic energy, and your ejaculation energy is the heat that brings your orgasmic energy pot to life.

Premature Ejaculation simply means you have this firing already, which is a good thing. It no doubt has been frustrating but not for much longer.

Your body can hide your heart energy in other ways

This sensitivity can also be disguised as a lack of real feeling. It applies if you can last a long time but feel numb, have difficulty in ‘coming’, you can’t sustain an erection, find sex unsatisfying or have had prostrate surgery.

Here is a Youtube Tedtalk on creating extraordinary intimacy, especially if you’re experiencing acute sexual dysfunction, impotence or you’re post prostrate surgery. This talk explains the extraordinary intimacy that every man is capable of.
If you would like to learn more about obtaining extraordinary intimacy for yourself, then our new online course or any of our workshops may be of interest.

Erections are not your only focus

The key point here is that traditionally, having an erection is seen as the benchmark in measuring how successful any man is in sex (and in life), yet this narrow focus limits most men in discovering there is so much more orgasmic pleasure that is possible.

It is my personal opinion from my own journey and my professional experience with numerous other men in  relationship, that this limiting perception of how their own sexual performance is dependent on their erection significantly impacts their ability to achieve pleasure.

This single minded focus in getting it up and over and done with will  restrict any man in achieving less than 10% of their capacity for pleasure from their own sexuality.

Most men limit their potential orgasmic pleasure simply because they are not aware of their awesome sexual pleasure potential, beyond and not limited to their erection.

Ironically discovering this potential can offer better erections than ever.”

Graeme, Oztantra.

Quite often, these men are afraid to further explore this aspect of their sexuality from fear of having to give up something that is important to them, either their erection or their orgasm, which is definitely not the case.

Separating Ejaculation and Orgasm

Premature Ejaculation (or other issues) is motivation for you to find a starting point in learning more about your sexuality and connecting with your deeper intimacy.

Understanding that Ejaculation and Orgasm for men are two separate functions is simply a starting point, remember the pot on the stove, with ejaculation being the heat that drives orgasm.

Because they happen at the same time, most men believe they are the same.

They are not, and are two distinctly different experiences.

It is possible that most men feel mostly only their ejaculation pleasure and very little of their orgasmic pleasure.

Learning how to delay ejaculation by “surfing the edge” dramatically increases the amount of orgasmic energy available as pleasure.

These steps help increase your orgasmic pleasure, by spreading but not suppressing it, as this delay will keep the heat simmering without going too far. Practising this simple step will greatly enhance your orgasmic experience.

The more you can spread and hold off, the more energy will go into your orgasm, and…. the next step is becoming Multi orgasmic

Premature Ejaculation is frustrating but lots of really amazing experiences and mind blowing pleasure come from it as you learn to last longer. With practice, lasting longer skills create more feeling and sensitivity in you, but most importantly, will create a dramatic increase in your pleasure, which will excitingly become your new normal.

Multiple orgasm – is actually easier to experience if you’re trigger sensitive as you’re closer to your feeling intensity.
Learning the basic skills of lasting longer in bed are quite easy, they’re free and all it takes is PRACTICE.

Surfing the edge…

Lasting longer in bed is as simple as pausing when you get close to your edge (ejaculation), taking some deep breaths -deep into your belly, which spreads your pleasure, then starting again.

And… keep repeating this number 1 step.   This is “surfing the edge”

If this is all you do, this alone will dramatically increase your pleasure during sex.

Follow the simple steps listed below…

Also reading throughout this website will get you started. Becoming your own and your partners “master lover”  is not as difficult as you may believe…

Our Oztantra Tantric lover course specialises in teaching these skills, without nakedness.

A word about Emotional Blockages

Your emotionally intense feelings live in your heart and are easily accessed through your sexual connection.

Learning how to make love for longer, the Oztantra way, is not only about technique but also understanding your sexuality and the emotional connection with your heart and spirituality more fully. Isn’t this worth making friends with the unknown of your emotions?

The reason many other mechanical techniques of lasting longer either don’t work, don’t last or don’t create more pleasure are because they ignore this part of you.

Oztantra techniques focus your learning on your heart and sexual connection.

Your experience will support your learning how your emotional barriers have created sexual blockages that get in the way of your pleasure and general ease in life.

Lasting longer skills will impact on all aspects of your life, as these skills are about you, your sexuality, your self confidence and most importantly connecting with your own inner power centre.

This will change your life and your relationships will never be the same again….

Ask your Partner

Fantasy sex happens in the mind As a man, ask your partner  what it is  that she desires from you during lovemaking, and most likely she will say “to feel your heart” or “your presence…”.

Being trigger sensitive simply means that your heart is much closer to the surface during lovemaking and by lasting longer will bring the real gift of your heart sexual connection with presence into your lovemaking.

Trigger sensitivity, numbness and erectile dysfunction  are simply masks protecting his heart from vulnerable intimate feeling intensity.

Bringing some simple steps into your lovemaking, and consciously practicing with your partner will create a “win win” for you both.

If in doubt, ask your partner…

Lasting longer will also deepen and greatly expand your experience of pleasure, for there is no need to hold yourself back, to clamp down, limit or distract yourself.  It is about going into the feelings and expanding them through your body so your experience of pleasure becomes endless.

Retaining Sexual Energy

These skills are about retaining and expanding your sexual energy, keeping your ejaculation energy and recycling it through your body as orgasmic pleasure.

Expanding, retaining and increasing your pleasure as your sexual energy courses through your whole body…

Imagine getting to the “point of no return”, not ejaculating but being able to keep having orgasms as many times as you choose…?

Because, with practise, you can keep going beyond your point of no return without ejaculating and keep having continual orgasms for as long as you choose.

For a lot of men, their ejaculation pleasure is all they experience.

Orgasmic pleasure significantly increases and expands every time as these skills of surfing the edge in this heart focussed way  are brought into your sexual practise.

Orgasmic pleasure is different to ejaculation pleasure, it is “slow burn”, full bodied and lasts for hours or days afterwards. Orgasmic pleasure takes longer to “warm up”. In this way your sexuality more closely matches your partners.

In this place, your pleasure capacity is limitless, as is a woman’s, as well as feeling intensely satisfying in a full bodied way.

The Oztantra method is about lasting longer by retaining your life force energy (not ejaculating ), and re circulating this energy through your body for as long as you choose.

In this place, having multiple orgasms is natural.

In this place, you can last for as long as you choose, and also choose not to ejaculate as there is no longer the desire to “cum”.

In this place, if you choose to ejaculate, it is continuous and you most likely run out of steam before you finish “coming”.

This is the beginning of a whole new world of sexual pleasure and heart connection….

In this place, next time you are in sexual space, you start where you last finished, as retaining and recirculating increases your access to your sexual life force energy.

Your sexual life force energy is also pure heart energy, such is its power.

The “Technique…”

HOW to start the .. “technique”…

  • Being present in your body. Pausing and feeling inside your body and connecting with yourself, taking your attention from your partner (or screen, or fantasy) at least initially, and putting it inside your own body. (Porn etc distracts men from being present with themselves) The more you can actually notice your sensations in your body, with awareness, the more pleasure you will have.
  • Simply breathing deeply, right down into your belly, several times. Exhale through your mouth. Deep breathing combined with awareness of what you’re feeling will spread the ejaculation intensity through your body. That is all it takes to begin to feel “full body pleasure”. It may seem selfish to be focussing on yourself in the beginning, but if you don’t know what’s happening with you you can’t change it.
  • Next, imagine your state of arousal/ejaculation on a scale of 1 – 10, with 1 being low arousal and a 10 being the point of no return. As your arousal increases, choose a number on your scale just before you get to the point of no return, say a 7, then as you get close to a 7, stop and take 3 – 4 deep breaths, relaxing your whole body as you exhale, especially your thighs, butt and pelvic floor muscles (the ones between your legs) then start again. It is important to not hold your breath… All you have to do is keep repeating this process, (while having some fun at the same time) and you will notice a change very quickly.
  • It is best to practice this by yourself a few times before you start with your lover as there is less to distract you.  Your main challenge could simply be to make the decision to breathe the pleasure away from your penis and throughout your body, giving up that urge to rush to the end immediately, but it will be so worth it.
  • Breathing your pleasure away is like adding to your credit card… your pleasure will become more full bodied and intense, instead of just being localised around your genitals. Your erection may go down a little, but that is ok, you can get it back.

This is all it takes in lasting longer in bed.

If you can achieve a noticeable difference in your lovemaking with these simple steps, then you are on the way to becoming an awesome tantric lover.

For the next steps, the Oztantra webinar page will help you to understand what is possible for you, and offers steps for not only lasting longer, but also learning how to become a multi orgasmic man.

Lasting longer in lovemaking with these steps will not only just help build your confidence in bed, but in all aspects of your life.

This will impact on every part of you in a way that you never thought possible before, and it is without drugs or anything else.

It is all about you connecting with what is already with in you..

Women will feel not only your sexual confidence, women will feel your heart and remember, this is what it is all about. She also wants to know you can take everything she offers in her own sexuality and last the distance. Feeling your heart will make a woman’s pleasure easier for her to access as well.

This is what a woman wants from her man, it is real and sustainable and keeps deepening and growing for the rest of your life.

I believe there is no end to this depth of connection with yourself. And you will no longer have to miss out, to wait just until the last moments of lovemaking for your few seconds of pleasure, as breathing and relaxing will have you experience much more pleasure all along, and if you’re lasting longer then…….this is just the beginning.

Remember, you are not alone in this,

You can us ask for tantric sessions for men, 

You can also sign up for our free newsletter and regular webinars

Specialized support is simple, just call us……

Toll Free 1800 TANTRA (826 872)

If you’re looking for more specialized or in depth information or coaching, we have assistance that is easily accessible.

A simple phone or Skype session with an experienced “owner operator” will definitely get you started.

We can also support you when deep emotional “stuff” comes to the surface and your fear threatens to overwhelm you.

Phone counselling or Skype counselling sessions are available for a more focused approach to meeting you/and your partner’s requirements.

Plus our weekend Sacred Sexuality workshop provides a safe and in-depth experience for singles and couples to explore further.

For those couples who really want to journey deeper into their relationship then our Couples Relationship Retreat is for you.. To contact us directly…

Call us TOLL FREE 1800 TANTRA (826 872), email link



CONTACT US:

Graeme 0457 966 696
Annette 0437 966 696

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