What actually is Emotional Intelligence?
is the ability to perceive, describe and feel our emotions, to see them as positive and to recognize their effects on ourselves and others.
When we have Emotional Intelligence skills, we can:
- identify our emotions
- feel emotions without becoming overwhelmed
- increase our understanding and lower our resistance to feeling and clearing emotions
As we acknowledge and allow our emotions to flow we open our hearts to wisdom and our bodies to ecstasy. At Oztantra we employ our knowledge of emotions to enhance our experience of Tantra. The clearing of blocked emotional energy in the body is a key element of Tantra.
A point about vulnerability
A fear of feeling vulnerable can prevent people from looking at their inner feeling realm. Most of us have spent years protecting ourselves from our feelings because they are messy, out of control, uncomfortable and often socially unacceptable. Knowledge of simple, practical Emotional Intelligence tools provide the skills to embrace vulnerability as a key strength, even a pathway to inner freedom and personal power. Not to mention better orgasms…
Understanding Emotional Intelligence:
Emotions are energy
Emotions are simply energies that are created within our bodies in response to physical experiences we have and the thoughts we think.
Emotions are actual physical sensations in our bodies, flowing through our bodies like electricity flows through a wire, unseen but readily felt and always on the move.
The amount of electricity flowing through a light bulb determines how brightly it glows. In a similar way the extent to which we allow our emotions to move through us determines the intensity of aliveness we feel.
As energy in the body, emotions form part of our vital life force.
Many of us have been trained to suppress our emotions. Sometimes this is necessary if specific conditions make being emotional unsafe.
There is also a strong cultural pressure to suppress our emotions, to be strong and in control. The suppression of emotions does not mean freedom from them. This energy builds up in our body, becoming stuck, leaving us feeling stressed and in pain, ultimately resulting in illness.
Emotional suppression can also lead to addictions such as smoking, overeating, overworking or drinking. By these means we attempt unsuccessfully to fill the emptiness caused by our loss of sense of self that came about through suppression of part of our being.
The healing is in the feeling
Emotions are innate to the human experience, part of our survival system. To be whole we need to embrace these unfamiliar aspects of ourselves, actually feeling them in our bodies.
When we allow ourselves to freely express our feelings they can flow through us quite harmoniously. Healing involves reclaiming and expressing any emotions we have suppressed, as well as learning to feel the emotions we experience in the now.
Emotions form as a result of our interactions with the world. They are transient and diminish once they have been felt.
Emotional Intelligence allows us to understand and trust this process.
What are the major emotions we experience?
- felt when we get something we don’t want, or don’t get something we do want
- felt primarily in the belly, also the neck and shoulders
- associated with heat and passion
- the energy of change
- felt when we think something bad is going to happen, it is always about the future
- felt primarily in the solar plexus
- associated with butterflies, nausea and cold
- the energy of self protection
- felt when we lose something we want
- felt primarily in the chest, as a heaviness
- closely associated with love
- the energy of letting go and moving on
- felt when we get something we want
- felt all over the body, as lightness
- the energy of motivation
- emotion of sadness in which we feel wrong, bad, flawed, not good enough
- felt as numbness, blankness, wanting to hide
- the energy of being invalidated or not respected
Core heart feelings
Love, happiness, peacefulness, compassion, wisdom, spaciousness or nothingness, and gratitude
Felt underneath our emotions, these more ‘desirable’ feelings are connected with our internal world and are constantly available to us if we go deep enough through our emotions to feel them.
Experience connecting with your feelings through this Heart Centreing Meditation
Allow yourself to stop and just be for a moment.
Use your mind as a navigator, rather than to think.Close your eyes, or just look down if this is easier.
Use your mind to observe your physical body sitting/lying or standing.
Then observe your feet on the floor and your clothes against your skin.
Notice your breathing- where is it happening, how full is it?
Focus on your breathing slightly more deeply, exhaling out of your mouth (this helps your mind to feel safe enough to switch off).
Become aware of any physical sensations you are experiencing in your body.
Allow any thoughts just to pass through your mind, without attaching to them.
As you continue to breathe become aware of any more subtle feelings or emotions present –Angry, scared, sad, joyful, happy, peaceful or blank.
Allow them to be there just as they are.
Keep breathing and allow, allow, allow.
You might notice your feeling get more intense at first, like shining a torch into a darkened room.
Then if you keep breathing you will notice the feeling shift into something softer.
Then you might become aware of what the feeling was really about- emotional understanding ALWAYS comes after the feeling!
The healing is in the feeling!
Adapted from Emotional Mastery by Nicholas De Castella
At Oztantra, our work is based on emotional energy flow, understanding and connection. If you want to learn and understand more about your emotional self, please contact us and we can answer your questions.
Our Oztantra Online Tantric Relationship Course is also just one way of exploring and learning more about your emotional self.
Call us TOLL FREE 1800 TANTRA (826 872), email link