A year is a long time, yet it can go by fast if you are not watching.
That’s why it’s great to make a commitment to what you want your year to look like.
Is it going to be a gift, or a disappointment?
Do you want another year of a less than inspiring love life?
Where sex has become the last priority, because, let’s face it, it’s often not really worth it.
Does the distance between you and your lover cause you a chronic sadness that you keep well hidden?
Are you submitting to another year of boredom or restlessness, wishing things could be different?
Or, is your sex life going well and you’d love it to be even better at the years end?
How to Create the Love Life of your Dreams
1. BOTH PARTNERS agree to take some time to reflect on your current sex life. (And if your partner won’t agree, do it for yourself anyway). Decide what is working well, what you would like more of and what is missing that you would like to include. Be honest with yourself. This is not a time to pussy foot around, it is a time to get real with yourself and your desires. This bit is NOT ABOUT YOUR PARTNER and what you think they are capable of, and what you think they may be willing to try.
Thinking this way is a COP OUT.
You need to get clear on YOUR OWN desires first. Be willing to be vulnerable enough to put your desires out there. Even if it is just to yourself.
If you don’t do this it is much easier to end up creating what you don’t want, unconsciously. Because believe us, your mind is watching you and what you put (or don’t put) on the table.
Not like a judgemental God waiting to catch you in sin.
But part of your mind (and depending on your beliefs, the universe) is waiting to help you manifest. So it makes sense to get clear for yourself first.
It also makes it easier for you not to get lost in your partner’s needs. Or in both your hidden manipulations and unexpressed agendas.
Bring Your Uniqueness INTO Your Relationship
Knowing your own desires also gives your relationship the gift of YOU and your unique gifts.
Often people fear expressing their desires and keep them hidden. Without realising they are denying the relationship the possibilities and energy their desires might bring.
Our Desires Are More Acceptable Than What We Fear
Explore what having these desires will give you, will make you FEEL. Such as, to feel valued, powerful, sexy, ecstatic, loved, seen, wanted, naughty, held, wild, free, unlimited. Even shame can be explored in a sexy way, it can be profoundly healing and deeply enjoyable.
2. Communicate your desires and be willing to listen in a NON JUDGMENTAL way to your partners desires. Literally just hear them, without passing any negative opinions. Just as you would like your partner to hear yours. Remember, our desires are unique to US, you don’t need your partner to fully agree with them, just to be willing to talk about them.
3. Share what having these desires will give you, will make you FEEL. This can help your partner see more clearly what might be in it for them and help them get on your team. Most of us fear rejection in expressing our desires. Sharing the motivation behind our desires brings us to the level of more universal human needs. We find over and over again couples share very similar, or at least very relatable desires at this level. Which brings a whole new excitement into their relationship.
Start Gently, Aim For Success
4. Agree together to making the desires that come with no conflict, happen in your sex life.
And start DOING THEM!
5. For the desires that have a level of challenge for one or both of you, explore how you might introduce them into your love life. Maybe take them one step at a time. Going slowly can allow resistance and fear to fall away if you are both willing to show up. Or perhaps find a different way to create the same feeling result.
6. Leave the desires that bring a clear NO aside for now. You might like to revisit them down the track, once you have created a deeper level of connection and goodwill between you. Again, you may be able to create the same feeling outcome in a more approachable way.
Leave Any Negativity Behind
Aim to create safety, rather than fear. Make nothing wrong here. Leave any negativity behind, express it in a positive way.
Step Into the Land of Possibility
Stepping into the land of possibility, rather than fear, will create a strong container for goodness to come in.
And let your lovemaking become the hub of the wheel that turns your relationship in 2024. Rather than a last minute priority that diminishes what you are BOTH capable of.
And if you have any difficulties going there and would like some professional, totally non judgmental support Contact Us HERE.
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