I’ve been sexually abused…
How can I stop it impacting my sex life?
Sexual abuse is a major trauma because of the place our sexuality has in us- it lives at the core of who we are.
Especially if the abuse happened when very young, or over a significant period of time, or included a high level of violence.
It’s like the soul has been stolen from. Even a relatively ‘minor’ episode can have a large impact, mainly because of what we tell ourselves around it- that we’re to blame, that we’re shameful, responsible or powerless.
Another very painful aspect of sexual abuse is not being believed. Having the experience denied is hugely invalidating to the self…
As is what people do to themselves as a result, long after the abuse has happened. They dim their light, find it hard to love and trust themselves, put up walls, act out through sexual permissiveness and often struggle in intimacy.
These painful experiences live in the body and in the psyche and with the help of the amygdala, the part of the brain that receives sensory information, is connected with memory and outputs our emotional reactions. Reactions that can be triggered at any time, by thoughts, sights, sounds, touch and particularly smells that put sufferers back into the moment of abuse and there they are, right back in the original experience.
Most people shut down to avoid this pain and create struggle in their relationships as a result.
It seems logical to avoid the hurt altogether. Yet the only way to heal it is to move through it. In fact, this is the purpose of triggers, to invite us into healing. Not by re traumatizing yourself but through touching the edges and reframing these experiences in a new and more empowered way.
Giving the shame back to the perpetrator and reclaiming your innocence and beauty.
Moving into a place of sexual freedom and a shining new connection with, and belief in yourself.
Both Graeme and Annette have healed from their own sexual abuse and know this from personal experience:
Read about Graeme’s journey
Read about Annette’s journey.
Fully healing sexual abuse takes work and it can be challenging, especially if it occurred in childhood, yet the rewards are huge and it is absolutely possible if you want it, for both men and women.
If you would like to talk to us call 1800 TANTRA or email here
An important part about sexual healing is that you are safe, read this important article here
All contact with Annette & Graeme is completely confidential.
