Discover what’s actually down there…
We mostly know about the clitoris, that little button of female pleasure that has thousands of nerve endings and is most people’s go to for the quickest orgasm.
But did you know that this little button is actually the top of the mountain? And there are so many more parts to it that exploring them makes the clitoris feel like Everest rather than just basecamp?
And that if you go straight to the tip of the clitoris it can soon become over the top, too “owwy” sensitive or shut down. Any one of these can lead a woman to start pushing it, or faking it, which won’t make her keen for more. Imagine if you just had the head of your penis strongly massaged before the shaft, it’s uncomfortable.
Our genitals have lots in common
Just like men have a large amount of erectile tissue that is easily seen, women have exactly the same amount. Except that hers is hidden. But it’s still there, because as an embryo we start life in exactly the same way. It’s just that in male babies at 6 weeks testosterone develops and sends the erectile tissues to the outside.
So when you think of a woman’s genitals, instead of thinking of her just having a tiny clitoral button, think of her having the equivalent of male arousal tissue all through the vulva. The vulva is the bit you can see, with the inner and outer lips (sometimes the inner lips are larger than the outer ones), the clitoris, the clitoral legs that extend either side of the vagina, the urethra and vagina.
How do you make use of this information?
You start touching a woman (or yourself, if you are a woman) with the intent of arousing all of her erectile tissue, not just the tip of her clitoris.
Actually, before you even start touching, have a look at how her tissues appear in the unaroused state. This will allow you to notice the changes as they arise, as the tissues get more engorged. Not the size, shape and colour of the clitoral glans (head) and if its hood covers over the head, or it shows itself. (Kind of like a shower or a grower penis.)
You start by massaging all around the vulva, starting at her pubic mound with the palm of your hand. In fact, starting by just resting your hand their and letting the warmth of it melt into her is a delicious way of starting she will love you for!
Then include massaging outside her outer lips, from top to bottom, outside in. Take your time here, use broad, sensual strokes. Imagine it is like stroking your penis, allowing time for it to become erect. Notice how this area becomes “puffed up” looking, as the erectile tissues, called the vestibular bulbs, swell with attention. Massaging here also massages the clitoral legs underneath, which allows the clitoral glans to fully awaken.
It’s also worth taking the time to massage her perineum, the area between her vagina and anus. This is because there is a pad of erectile tissue here as well, called the perineal sponge. Having this area massaged can feel really yummy, even orgasmic!
Taking your time gets results
When you’re massaging this whole area, do it with a timeless approach, as if you have all the time in the world to spend here. It doesn’t mean you have to, but giving the feeling of it, rather than having agenda to “get to the point – the clitoral hood”, will allow her to relax and arouse much more easily.
Once all of her genital tissues are plump and engorged a woman may well enjoy playing with, the shaft of her clitoris. Or having it played with. Rolling it between your fingers can feel exquisite.
There are advantages for men here too
The extra advantage is that these swollen erectile tissues help hug the penis, giving the man the feeling of being snug an held inside the vagina.
Massage of the vulva area helps relax and activate the pelvic floor, also meaning more stimulation of pleasure during lovemaking.
Starting at the outside and slowly making your way to the top of the mountain will be well worth the journey.
What’s not to love about all of this sexy information?
It’s time to get better acquainted with the clitoris and all of its associated and delicious arousal tissues.