Women are not losing interest in bed…
They’re losing interest in the sex they’re having…
There is much said about lack of feminine libido in the world these days.
Yet when we we get a bit closer to women and hear what they really have to say it is not sex they’re losing interest in.
It’s more that they are losing interest in in the sex they’re having- disconnected, performance based sex.
Sex that is not a shared experience.
Sex that is not pleasurable, that is even painful.
Sex that leaves them feeling like a semen receptacle.
Women are as caught in this conditioned way of having sex as men are but are more fed up and wanting something different.
Women generally are interested in mutually connecting, equally pleasurable and deeply satisfying, even magical lovemaking.
This is the sex they will find the time and motivation for. And why wouldn’t they?
Women are looking for connection
There can be many reasons behind why a woman’s libido has gone out to lunch but here we’re going to focus on the aspect of connection.
Women are not losing interest in connection, and will only do so when hell freezes over…
Men want connection too.
Yet don’t we connect through the very act of sex, through two bodies becoming joined into one?
Well, yes. But this is only the most basic layer of connection.
There is more…
It’s where we are inside of us that takes connection to a whole different place.
It’s starts with how connected are we to ourselves.
If we’re stressed, worn out, living in our heads, not feeling our emotions, living in unused bodies then the sex we’ll have will have a minimum of connection.
So how do we get more connected?
Say YES to this part of yourself.
Your body listens to what your mind says and the more you say YES to it the more it will say YES to you! (The opposite is also true and you don’t want that!).
Recognise that you are a sexual being and take ownership of it.
Make the time to put some physical exercise into your life, awaken your body through brisk walking, taking the stairs, playing sport, bike riding, yoga, gardening anything to get your blood pumping, your muscles working and your energy moving.
And remember to stretch afterwards to keep your body supple and give the energy room to move.
Yes, we know you’ll be doing it anyway, but why not optimise it by regularly taking deep, full breaths into your belly, expand up into your chest and then just let go (preferably exhaling out through your mouth)!
Ah, it feels SO good. Breathing optimises your body’s energy levels so make the most of it anywhere, anytime!
You’ll be so glad you did.
Put your attention inside your body and experience what you’re feeling inside you.
You know what the biggest resistance people have to feeling their feelings? They don’t like what they find!
If you can let go of any negative judgements about what you’re feeling and just feel, breathing into your feelings (whatever they are) turns them into energy for living and loving.
Do something sensual with your body.
Put on your favourite sensual songs and move to them, feel their chords moving through and uplifting you.
Or stroke your body all over in a way that feels good to you (yes, even guys benefit from this), including your breasts and your butt (guys too).
Moisturise your body with oil or lotion.
Anoint yourself with your favourite essence.
Slowly eat something raw and bursting with vitality like a juicy peach or a fresh salad.
Appreciate something visually beautiful, whatever grabs your attention.
Find something to be grateful for and feel it opening your heart.
Do something sexy.
Wear something that has a sensual feel, looks good or moves with you.
Show a bit of cleavage, bare shoulders or legs.
Go without knickers.
Flirt with your partner, have some fun with yourself.
Don’t focus on your partner’s reaction, focus on having a good time in yourself, this way you can’t lose!
Watch a sexy movie.
Take it up a notch and self pleasure, taking time to breathe your energy through your body, nurturing and energising you.
Lighten up about life…Enjoy all of this for yourself!
The more you own your own body and the pleasure it is capable of the more you will experience it.
Fill yourself up with how good it feels.
Invite your lover to share you.
Let them feel your wanting.
There is nothing more desirable than feeling desired (when the desire is clear and not manipulative).
Get together and drop into the here and now moment. Just look at each other and take a few breaths, feeling your own bodies.
As we always say, sex is better when you relax at the beginning rather than just at the end.
Don’t react from those tired old sexual habits you’ve been using, instead just wait to see what inspires you right now and go from there.
The more you live in each moment the more the next step will arise. And the more authentic and juicy it will be!
When you feel sexual desire, breathe it up through your body to your heart, either along your spine or straight up through your centre.
Or take it right up to your Third Eye.
Where your mind goes your energy will follow.
Feel it energising, nurturing, opening and expanding you.
Be open to magic happening.
Not all sexual pleasure is about orgasm.
We can also experience other felt senses such as feeling at one with our lover or the universe;
feeling the sky, the sea or all of nature inside our bodies;
sensing that you’re somehow standing at the beginning of time itself;
seeing the earth appear inside your lover’s eyes.
If you open to your potential by being fully in your body you’ll activate your intuitive mind where all sorts of things can happen.
Does this feel like sex you would both be interested in?
If you would like support putting these suggestions in place or removing blocks to doing so email us or call 1800 TANTRA.