The GSpot page on our Oztantra website is the one with the consistently highest rating.
Even more than the pages on lasting longer for men.
The GSpot is well worth being curious about as it is this spot that provides unlimited possibilities for women. To further know, enjoy and accept their bodies, their sexuality, themselves, and their feminine power. This is why we are offering a second article on this delicious little subject…However, if you don’t feel a desire to explore this part of you, or you have and haven’t enjoyed it, please know there is nothing wrong with you. This is just information for you to take or leave…
To learn how to find and awaken the GSpot see our first GSpot article here.
Some of the reasons a woman’s GSpot can still be missing in action:
– Expectations: Now that we know what the GSpot is capable of, we can bring our expectations with us. We expect miracles. We then overlook what IS happening because of what we think should be happening. The best way is to stay completely in the moment, enjoy it and be open to what happens.
– Trying too hard: Pushing yourself, using your mind to make it happen is the opposite of what a GSpot needs. It needs you to trust that it is there, relax your mind and start touching slowly, gently and surrender to it. It is different to a clitoral orgasm, it’s is not just mechanical.
– The GSpot can be missed completely when the woman is not fully aroused. Because until it is aroused and becomes hard like a roughened almond, it lies flat inside the vaginal wall. If you can’t feel it, just believe in it, visualize it, relax and keep exploring. And see our article on arousing the clitoral network here.
It’s not just about nerve placement
– The GSpot response is partly about where her physical pleasure spot is place in her body. It’s also about exactly where her particular set of nerves are placed (like our ears, we’re all slightly different). But as you’ll see further down, it’s also about energy.
It needs more time
– It takes time. A GSpot can take longer to arouse than a clitoris (around 20-40 mins) to arouse and if this part is missed, then nothing happens.
– It can be useful in the early stages of exploration to take special time just to focus on the GSpot by itself, rather than as foreplay for lovemaking…
– Once fully awakened the GSpot response can be instantaneous, although it will always be variable, because it is part of your feminine soul. It can’t be expected to mechanically always “perform”.
– Arousal can be short circuited by focussing entirely on clitoral orgasm, (they have different nerve supplies). So, if you are looking to explore your GSpot, it can be better to build stimulation in the clitoris, but stop short of orgasm. Then begin to focus on the different, deeper sensations and possibilities in the Gspot. (Although this isn’t true for all women.)
GSpot orgasms are different
– Clitoral orgasms are usually short, localised and intense, but the Gspot is a slow burn. It may take a while, but when it gets going, GSpot pleasure can be deep, full bodied, and come in waves, rather than one obvious “peak”. GSpot orgasms can feel like they implode within, rather than explode. When connection does show up it will seriously rock your world…. (and your partner’s too…)
– Whole body tension is another short circuit. Often a woman will tense her body to create a clitoral orgasm. This is completely the opposite of what the GSpot requires. So, when you feel arousal happening, remember to relax, deepen your breathing, exhale out of your mouth and let your muscles go. Let go of pushing or performing, just be curious.
– Over use of a vibrator can either short circuit sensation by being too much too soon, or it can toughen and numb the GSpot, reducing its sensitivity. So, take it slowly whilst it warms up. If you use a vibrator and your GSpot stops responding try something different. Use your fingers, your breath and sound for a while and see if you can reawaken it. If you haven’t ever tried an internal vibrator with a GSpot attachment, give one a try. You can also try a crystal wand.
Pelvic floor muscles are important
– Weak and/or tense pc muscles (the muscles between our legs that we feel when we try to stop the flow of urine) reduce Gspot stimulation. These muscles can suffer from lack of use, hyper tension etc and leave our vagina lacking in awareness. Begin to contract and release these muscles as often as you can each day to build their strength. Make sure you isolate and just contract the pc, not your stomach or buttocks. To help identify your pelvic floor muscles, stand pigeon toed and try to squeeze your pelvic floor, it’s very specific. And make sure you relax the muscles fully in between squeezes- relax them, then relax some more before contracting again. The last thing you want is to add more tension to already tight muscles. You might like to try a yoni egg (you might see a familiar face there too!) to help strengthen and tone your pelvic floor. Or try a Perifit kegel exerciser.
It takes more pressure
– Know that the GSpot can take much more pressure than your clitoris. Almost as much pressure as your (or your lover’s) finger, or your toy, can create. Build up slowly though. Get to know your GSpot’s size, shape and moods as you do so.
– Sometimes your lover can place the fingers of his/her other hand just above your pubic bone and press down gently. This anchors the GSpot between his/her two fingers, one above, one below. Imagine you’re holding the GSpot between your fingers as you do so.
It can be numb or painful at first
– Sometimes a Gspot feels totally numb and so we think it doesn’t work and give up. With attention and love as described here it CAN be fully activated, so keep practicing. Keep breathing into it and sounding out as you exhale. Feel any emotions that arise fully. Give yourself full permission to feel. Keep believing that this amazing spot is real and exists, and just keep at it. At all times during this exercise, breathe deeply and focus on feeling your body.
– Sometimes the Gspot is the opposite- it’s very painful when it’s touched. There can be burning, stinging, needle like sensations that we reasonably want to avoid. We want pleasure, not pain, so we avoid going any further. Know that this pain is old stored emotion from unhelpful beliefs about your sexuality. Or from difficult past sexual experiences that are still held in your body. With attention and love it can be released, through feeling, breath and sounding.
There is more going on than just pleasure
– Understand that the GSpot is an emotional and an energy centre. The feelings aroused here can be unfamiliar, and intense and so they are shut down. Understand that these emotions are an important part of your sexuality and of who you are. They exist as an energy that will become pleasurable when accepted and released. Allow any emotions that arise just to be felt or expressed, even if it is intense fear, sadness or rage. Breathe into your heart, release your emotions and bring love into your GSpot and its emotions. Remember that there is safety inside it.
– Not being able to drop into your body and surrender. To fully experience the GSpot you need to trust your body, and surrender into your sensations, letting go into them with every out breath. Make sounds as you exhale- sound the pain, sigh, yell or shout. Give yourself permission. Sometimes a woman can have fear about stepping into her feminine power which makes it hard to surrender. It can take time and practice. Finding a place in your body that is safe can help.
– Not understanding that the GSpot is a psychic energy centre, capable of giving us experiences of altered and heightened states. There is the physical GSpot, which we have covered. There is also the energetic point of the GSpot, that is deeper in, located in the second chakra, somewhere behind and above the pubic bone. It moves about to the left or the right and you find it as much by intuition as by technique.
It is this energy point that brings the really transformative GSpot experiences. As is attested by Charles Muir from Source Tantra, the man who has helped women awaken more GSpots than any man on the planet.
We have found it to be true in our experience as well. We suggest you just play with this idea and see if it is true for you.
Sex positions to activate the GSpot
– These sexual positions can help hit the GSpot more easily. Such as:
Woman on top: This position allows the partner being penetrated to control the action and move their body as they please. The person with the penis can lie back and enjoy their partner riding them. Spooning: Lie on your side and have the penetrating partner be the big spoon at your back. Bring your knees up slightly and have them enter you from behind.
Doggy style: It can be on all fours or over a chair or the side of the bed. It’s all about the angle. Communicate about the depth and speed so it works for both of you.
Pillow under the hips: Having a pillow under the woman’s hips helps tilt her pelvis up, allowing a change of angle in the penetration of finger/toy/penis. She can lie on her back or front.
Accepting that it’s messy
– A woman can shut down if she or her partner is uncomfortable with her intensity and her emotional and physical messiness in her Gspot. Take your time, talk about it and both of you build a relationship to this part of her. Know that as her partner all you need to do is just be supportive and encouraging to keep her focussed on her spot. And if you do, you’ll have an empowered Goddess on your hands, who’ll have her heart open to you. Don’t take anything she says personally, because in that moment it isn’t personal to you, she’s just clearing stuff. And men challenge yourself to learn to last longer, long enough to help her GSpot awaken. Check out this page to both last longer in lovemaking AND increase your pleasure. It will help you build the sexual relationship (and relationship) of your dreams.
The BIG no to GSpot pleasure: Fear of Female Ejaculation
A woman about to ejaculate feels like she is about to wet herself.
– Oh no! Usually one of the first signs you’ve found your GSpot is feeling like you need to pee!
– Ejaculation is fluid that is expelled from a woman’s prostate gland when her GSpot is aroused. Yes, she too has one, in the erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra, which the GSpot forms part of. And very close to where she pees from, because it’s all connected. But it can be off putting for a woman (and her partner) if she thinks she is peeing.
– Awakening the GSpot may stimulate this ejaculation. Which can be just a few mls, making her think she just got wet all of a sudden. Or it may be anywhere up to a cup, or three, of liquid! You can have a folded towel under her to catch any liquid. (You can even buy gorgeous squirting blankets to keep you comfy as you pleasure!). Ejaculation can happen with an orgasm, or without. This fear of urinating will often prevent her from following through and simply allowing this natural and delicious experience.
It’s NOT urine
– Letting go of Amrita (the tantric name of ejaculate) can be an exquisite bliss that is beyond words, leaving a woman renewed and glowing. And her partner too, if they are lucky enough to be splashed by it. To help dispel any fear, know that the ejaculation fluid, is NOT urine. Amrita actually has a different chemical composition, smell and taste from urine. It doesn’t pass through the bladder but comes out through the same tube. Often it is really sweet, unlike urine. But if the woman has processed a lot of emotion in her pleasure it can be more acrid and urine-like.
Amrita is believed to help lubricate the urethra from the acidity of urine, reducing infections. Amrita also sweetens the acidic environment of the yoni to enhance sperm survival. Far from being shameful, Amrita, the nectar of love is thought to be a Gift from God, and is seen as a source of rejuvenation.
– But a woman can often hold back in fear of “wetting herself”. In fact, it is very difficult for a woman to pee when highly aroused. Just like it is difficult for a man to pee when he has an erection. Knowing this can help a woman to relax and let Amrita flow when she has the urge to “pee” that comes from stimulation of her Gspot. Get up and have a pee then you know what comes out will be amrita. Breathe deep, relax, sound if it helps, trust and let, let go.
There are two paths to ejaculation
– To help ejaculation happen a woman can do one of two things. She can totally relax and surrender into the ejaculation happening by itself. Or she can gently “bear down” on her pelvic floor as the pressure builds and help it to happen.
Bearing down too early, when she is not fully aroused, especially if her pelvic floor muscles are weak, can allow a little urine to escape. (This is why it can be great to play with finding your ejaculation in the bathtub, no worries if it happens.)
Removing her fingers, toy or partner’s penis from her vagina when she feels ready to release can help to provide space. As can changing the stimulation from the come hither movement to a “fast, side to side” one.
So much to know
There is much to learn about this tiny little spot in a woman’s body. It’s an experience that is different every time, but it’s always real. It can be very intimate to share with someone. Or to surrender into completely in yourself, whether alone, or with a partner.
It’s an intriguing exploration that can last a lifetime.
To hear us talking about all of the above see our GSpot video here.
Or speak to us directly to have your remaining GSpot questions answered by contacting us directly via our contact link.
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