If you’re in a long term relationship you will have faced the age old question of “how do we prevent boredom in the bedroom”?
You might have tried to spice things up with some lingerie, sex toys, role plays, even a little BDSM…
But sooner or later the boredom in the bedroom creeps back in leaving you feeling you’re back at square one.
Being in a long term relationship takes skill, commitment, focus and work and often the pay off can seem too far away, or not enough to justify the effort.
Heart connected sex
Yet, time and time again, we have seen couples from the very beginning of introducing tantric relationship skills totally transform both their sex lives and their intimate loving connection. Sex becomes loving, fulfilling and creative, leaving couples with a bond strong enough to survive any temporary boredom in the bedroom.
What are the Tantric skills of which we speak?
- Ownership of our sexuality as a beautiful thing
- Being in the here and now, rather than in agenda
- Being embodied (aware of the internal experience our bodies are having)
- Being authentic (what we show on the outside matches what we’re experiencing within)
- A willingness to be vulnerable and allow our partner in to us (in-to-me-see)
- Being connected with our hearts and its qualities of love, courage, trust, humility, generosity and compassion
- A willingness to take responsibility for our thoughts, emotions, words and actions
- A willingness to be a co creator in manifesting our desires
- Awareness of our sexual pleasure as energy and moving between moments of building energy and moments of allowing it to flow
- Using breath to both move and expand pleasure; and to change our physical, emotional and mental states
- Being open to the mystery that lies within us.
Tantra benefits all
A successful relationship that is nurturing, loving and sustainable has mastered their heart connected sex lives together as its life blood.
The power of this transformation automatically flows into all other aspects of their lives as well.
Couples with children who have introduced tantric skills demonstrate healthy and loving role models for them. What a gift this is for any child! Imagine how it would have been in your own life, to have had role this modelled for you.
And someone who is present, embodied, emotionally intelligent, heart connected, self aware and empowered will go a long way to creating what they want in life.
Tantra is spiritual sexuality
We are all born into this world as spiritual sexual beings.
We are this way until we’re conditioned out of it by those around us who misunderstand and fear its truth.
Those choosing to learn tantric practices are actually reconnecting with this spiritual sexual part of themselves and deepening it. Tantra is not a cult or dogma and even those who are not ‘into spirituality’ find their own understanding and gifts for themselves within it, with most finding that it just makes sense to live this way.
Much of learning tantra in your relationship is about removing your blockages than learning complex tantric techniques. Remove the blockages and move walls out of the way and not only will your boredom in the bedroom resolve, you will revert to more of your natural state as sexual spiritual beings.
Tantra is connection to ourselves as well as to each other
Tantric techniques and understandings also offer pathways for our equally strong need for independence and sense of self in relationship. In fact, it will create a healthy and active environment for the intimacy and autonomy required for ongoing desire and passion in your relationship over the years.
Your own journey into your true personal depth and being really comfortable in your skin is much easier to achieve and sustain in a committed relationship. “Easier” doesn’t actually mean that it is easy to do, it’s more that your personal stuff is more accessible…ie. your emotional buttons get pushed easier for you to see and heal. And because you’re working with your partner in a vital, intimate and loving environment where tantric skills really impact.
As Osho said, “ you can live on your own in a cave and meditate for years, but your journey of discovery about yourself commences when some one moves into that cave with you and tells you clean your shit up…”
We’ve been there too
Both Annette & Graeme have experienced the highs and lows of relationship, from divorce right through to self exploration and the heights of tantra. What we bring in is experience, knowing and understanding as teachers who specialise in relationship sexuality, especially for people in mainstream relationships.
Partners in long term relationships have reached an understanding and posses a knowing about themselves and each other that requires a different level of skill and commitment from professionals who choose to work with them. We have developed techniques that will meet a couple where they are at, regardless of how conservative they may be.
When we are working with people our focus is on the experience, as this is where the understanding and techniques drop in very easily. We don’t require complex special techniques or language, in fact it is quite the opposite, the more simple and practical the better. For here the mind can relax and the feelings arise.
At Oztantra, this healthy environment is our focus in all aspects of our work with couples. It is that important; and when introduced in a grounded and connected way totally life changing.
To being a little Tantra into your life and end boredom in the bedroom forever try one our our Couples Retreats
Or if you have other questions contact us here.