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Active Receiving…it’s so much more than just lying there!

June 7, 2018 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

It’s obvious when we’re actively giving in lovemaking, those moments when we completely lose ourselves in service of our partner, totally there for them and loving every moment of it.

And there are those delicious moments when it seems like you’re just flowing together, not knowing where one person ends and the other begins, and nobody appears to be giving, it’s just happening (called entrainment by the way).

It’s less obvious when we’re actively receiving, for Female Sexualitymen or women. It’s less talked about and a skill not often understood.

The experience of it can transform our lovemaking experience from ordinary to magnificent!

It’s a mindset firstly, an opening of your mind, a letting go of control and allowing whatever is happening to be utterly as it is.

Yet it’s not just passively laying there.

It’s having your mind fully engaged in the moment, actively breathing and feeling your sensations fully.

Letting go of any inner fear or resistance you might have.

Totally surrendering to yourself through your lovers touch.

Rising to meet your lover’s touch, with your lips, hands, breasts, legs or hips.

That’s the thing about surrender here- it’s surrender to yourself, not to your partner.Meditation

Although you automatically feel more connected to your lover as a result, and they to you.

Surrender to yourself can look like surrender to your lover but the internal reality is very different, for you remain connected to and safely in charge of yourself, trusting yourself that you will be ok in whatever happens.

It does not mean tolerating something that feels uncomfortable, but asking yourself the question of are you letting it in?

Can you move your body in a way that opens it further?

Can you breathe in the sensations you’re feeling, transforming them?

Can you open your eyes and let your lover see you?

Is there any resistance you can drop? Emotion you can acknowledge?

This can help us go underneath yourself into something unforeseen yet wonderful.

Expressing gratitude to your lover for the gift you’re receiving  builds the connection and trust between you.Tantric Heart space

Sometimes surrendering invites activity, a rock of the hips, a surge of energy, heat, movement, coming from deep within.

At others it invites even deeper stillness, a sigh that opens into freedom, melts like wax in fire or expands into bliss with intuitive imagery of waterfalls, stars, mountains, earthly or spiritual beings. The potential is unlimited.

If what your lover is doing still doesn’t feel good, then ask for it to be changed.

Active receiving is one of the most precious gift you can give to both yourself and your lover as it opens not only the heart through the gratitude it brings, and the spirit through the acceptance it takes, but also the doorway to greater pleasure through the expansion it offers.

Give it a try sometime soon!

Sexual Breathing Enhances Your Pleasure

December 4, 2017 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Sexual Breathing brings more pleasure and more connection…

Talking about sexStart simply…breathe in down to your belly, breathe out through your mouth…this is the beginning of Sexual Breathing.

Once comfortable breathe in all the way down to your genitals, breathe out through your mouth…

Then squeeze your pelvic floor muscles as you inhale and relax them as you exhale…

Keep coming back to this practice, whether you are making love, self pleasuring, driving the car or sitting on the back verandah with a cuppa.

In lovemaking actively play with your breath

Sexual Breathing is consciously playing with your breath. Speeding your breath up increases your pleasure (build up slowly if you’re new to it), breathing fully and deeply spreads your pleasure through your body as it relaxes. Nb. You create room for more pleasure in a relaxed body than in one full of tension, especially as you get close to orgasm. This is true for both men and women. It might seem to fade a little at first as you relax, that’s just because it’s spreading. Keep breathing and relaxing and your pleasure will come back stronger! Once you go into orgasm take short sharp breaths to keep your pleasure going longer. This also reduces the ‘owie’ oversensitive feeling on your clitoris.


Get a little more fancy (and more powerful) here:

The Feminine & Masculine Breaths

Sexual Breathing begins with the Feminine Breath, as this is an energy building (or receptive) breath. Sexual Breathing between man and woman

The Masculine Breath is a discharging breath so it makes sense to build your energy first.

Then you can try a free breath which combines both…

Try it alone first, then with your partner, one doing the feminine and the other masculine breath.

The Feminine Breath:

Lie on the floor or the bed on your back with your feet flat on the floor or bed with your knees  up and leaning in a little. Your feet are up near your hips, and your sacrum is contacting the ground. Stay relaxed. Move very slowly. As Breatheyou flatten your lower back your pelvis curls up. Add a deep inhalation as you do so. this in breathe is in through the mouth, breathing energy into the Yoni. Breathe all the way up to the chest. Expand the chest and then expand more. Draw the shoulders back and apart and inhale more. Take in everything you can imagine needing on your inhalation, on your breath. Take in all you have ever missed out on receiving on your inhalation. Take in so much so you feel totally full. Keep the inhale larger than the exhale..

Breathe out through the nose, constricting the throat slightly and sighing or making an “mmm” sound. As you breathe out slowly release the pelvic curl to sink into the ground, arching your lower back as you do so. Let go, let go, surrender all control. Visualize or feel the energy moving up from the pelvis and radiating out the heart. Pause at the bottom of the exhale.

Repeat at your own pace for 5 to 10 minutes, breathing in everything you need.

Allow the body to shake or orgasm if it wants to, allow feelings to come, but return to the breath as soon as you can whatever else is going on. Pause, rest and observe your feelings for a few minutes.

The Masculine Breath:

Keep your knees up but allow your legs to fall apart slightly. Feet are still up near your hips. Continue to move very Sexual Maleslowly with the pelvic curl but in the reverse direction to what you’ve just done. Tilt the pelvis down (or arch the back, pressing the sacrum into the ground) as you breathe into the heart. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth making the exhale bigger than the inhale.

Pause at the top of the inhale and slowly curl the pelvis up, flattening your lower back as you exhale out through the genitals with an open mouth, making a “ha” sound. Let everything go on the exhale.

Repeat at your own pace for 5 to 10 minutes, slowly moving your pelvis together with the breath.

Using either the masculine or the feminine movement, breathe both in and out through the mouth, more rapidly, keeping up a steady pace.

Or simply let go of all technique and let your body breathe and rock as it desires to.

Pause. Cease all and feel your body/mind. Lie quietly and notice what you’re experiencing.

You can use this as a sexual warm up or as a meditation.Tantric Intimacy

Once you feel comfortable with your breathing invite your partner to join you, and breathe in the opposite way to each other. Breathe in and out together but one in masculine style and one in feminine. Your connection will flow quickly and powerfully. Enjoy!

You can add in a few Feminine/Masculine breaths anytime to add some juice to your love play.

NB. It is particularly valuable for women who generally breathe in the masculine style, or who find themselves in a masculine role to practice the Feminine Breath to nurture and re energise yourself.

If you would like to learn more about the power of your breath check out our coming events here.

Deep lovemaking strokes

June 7, 2017 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Take your lovemaking out of the ordinary into the extraordinary with these deep lovemaking strokes.

Try one or two of these once you’re warmed up and are ready for more.deep lovemaking

Add in some deep breathing and eye gazing to any of these strokes and feel your connection in deep lovemaking go off the scale!
A vital key is not to strive for orgasm in this. If the orgasm begins to arise feel free to follow it without striving to make anything happen, allow your body to lead your mind, rather than the reverse. Amazing things can happen this way!

 

For Both Lovers:

  • Rock your hips rather than thrusting them, as thrusting creates tension in your muscles and rocking opens them up, allowing much more pleasure to flow. You rock your hips by arching and flattening your lower back.
  • Play with your breath- breathe out as you rock your hips forward to penetrate/be penetrated, breathe in as you rock your hips back. Then try the opposite.
  • Breathe in short and sharp to build your sexual energy, alternating with deep and slow to spread it through your body.
  • Without moving both of you contract and release your pelvic floor muscles together as this releases energy from your two lower chakras.
  • Move slow, really slow, all the way out and all the way back in. Relax your Yoni (vaginal) muscles as much as possible. This helps activate the positive/negative energy exchange between your genitals exponentially increasing your pleasure.
  • Imagine your heart energy penetrating/being penetrated by your lover.Oral sex man giving woman
  • Place a pillow under your woman’s butt as this changes the angle of penetration.
  • Try rear entry for deepest penetration. Be guided by your lover’s degree of openness.
  • Introduce moments of complete stillness to explore the valley orgasm.

 

For men:

  • Stay centred in yourself and aware of your internal energy flows as this will help you last longer and be heart open and emotionally available to your lover.
  • Play with your lovers gspot prior to being inside her so it is awake and receptive.
  • Go slowly until you can feel your lover’s Yoni fully open to you.
  • Vary your speed rather than maintain a set rhythm.
  • Move in and out just two or three inches (5cms) at a time as this helps stimulate the gspot.Tantric sexuality
  • After moving all the way in move back and forwards just an inch or two whilst remaining deep as this helps stimulate the A (along the front wall of the vagina just before the cervix) and O spot (at the back wall near the cervix) for deep heart opening pleasure. Be really present with this one, give it the time it deserves.
  • Move your hips around in a circle, first one way then the other, this can drive a woman wild!
  • When you’re in deep stop moving and squeeze and release your pelvic floor muscles (which you’ve been practicing with, right?).

 

For women:

  • Stay centred in yourself, in your heart and aware of your internal energy flows as this will help you be emotionally  available to your lover.
  • Contract and release your pelvic floor muscles- short and sharp. Long and slow.Tantra is sex and more
  • Your Yoni (vagina) has three rings of muscle- an outer, middle and inner layer. You can learn to contract and release these individually and awaken deeper pleasure in both of you. If you can’t do it yet you can have fun trying!
  • Place your legs as high up around your lovers back as you can manage. Try over his shoulders if you can. Then try having your legs straight just resting over his ankles, changing the angle of the penetration.

If you experience any difficulties in exploring these deep lovemaking practices, especially if you encounter pain in the yoni please contact us for support via email or Ph 1800 TANTRA

 

What IS Tantric Touch?

September 9, 2015 By admin Leave a Comment

What makes Tantric Touch different to other kinds of touch?

Tantric touch is often spoken about as if it is something mysterious and special and that’s because it really is special!

Here we seek to explain how it differs from any other type of touch or massage you might receive.

Tantric Touch challenges our conditioning around pleasure

For a start tantric touch is different from others because it involves touch for purely for pleasure. Most touch we experience is for nurturing, comforting, playing or fixing sore muscles. Many of us still have negative conditioningTantric Touch in the grass around pleasure and this in itself takes receiving (and giving) touch for pleasure to a whole new place. For those of us who can recall being told not to touch ourselves in ways that felt good and usually “down there” by  agitated grownups who, would immediately tell us this was on a good day,  best to be kept private or on a bad day, we are bad or dirty for doing it. Yet how many of us continued to touch ourselves (albeit furtively) just because it felt good? When we did it was with associated guilt or shame, forever linking these two feelings with pleasure and creating much confusion in our psyche.

Some of us carry beliefs from religious, cultural or societal conditioning about pleasure not only being wrong or sinful, but it can also have scary consequences like pregnancy, disease, getting addicted or being labelled “a slut”. Or we may have been told we have to earn our rewards, or that somehow WE don’t deserve pleasure or even that it is better to give than receive.

So the very idea of receiving touch simply for pleasure can bring up any of this subconscious conditioning, leaving us deliciously excited or nervous and embarrassed. Tantric touch can be a deeply healing and loving experience, simply by the very fact that it challenges these parts that we hold in shadow.

Tantric Touch can involve our ‘Sexy bits’Touch can be the beginning in Tantra

In most kinds of therapeutic touch or massage the breasts and genitals are appropriately kept covered and separate. In Tantric touch these intimate parts of us are not seen as separate from the rest of the body and may be included (though this is not required), as Tantra is about moving beyond duality into union. This inclusion brings up even deeper layers of childhood conditioning for healing as mentioned above. Having said that Conscious Tantric touch can be totally delicious simply on someone’s face, shoulders, arm or leg!

Tantric EnergyThere is an exchange of energy

In Tantra it is believed that we are not solid beings but vibrating energy bodies. Tantric Touch activates this energy and as it moves in the body it feels like pleasure. This energy (sex or spirit) moves between the giver and receiver so that neither one feels like they’re actually giving or receiving. The boundaries between them can become blurred, the connection deep and expanded.

We are more aware of ourselves

Tantric touch is touch without agenda, other than to be experienced fully. There is no focus on performance or orgasm, even if genitals are included. Both giver and receiver are fully in the moment and open to whatever happens. There is more space to feel pleasure, emotion, love, everything because all is welcome. In this space more thoughts can arise leading us to a greater awareness of Self, of what is going on under our surface. The challenge is to accept and let go of anything that is blocking us from being fully present.

We are not used to feeling extended pleasure

Allow yourself to receive in tantric massageIn Tantric touch there is more space for pleasure to arise without judgement. Most of the pleasure we feel either feels time limited, guilty and short lived. Or we have the desire DO something with the pleasure, to take it to some sort of completion, either orgasm or intercourse. In Tantric touch we breathe into the sensation of pleasure and enjoy it for what it is and that is all, knowing the pleasure in itself is healing, opening and nurturing in itself. We can choose to expand and prolong pleasure by surrendering deeper into our pleasure but never withholding it. This leads to an incredible sense of freedom and heightened states of feeling, connection and awareness.

We need to be fully connected to ourselves

Much regular touch is focussed on giving and receiving. In Tantric touch the focus is on ourselves as much as the other. We are fully present in the moment, breathing into our own heart and body without expectation, allowing the touch to flow rather than be technique based. The more present we are in ourselves, the more our partner will feel held and safe to surrender. Only then are we  fully present with the other and simply exploring their body rather than trying to control or manipulate it.

The receiving is active

The receiver is not passively lying there being touched. They seek to open themselves to the touch by being in the moment, letting go of thoughts, of tension, resistance and any closedness in their hearts, mind and body. It is a surrender of their mind into their heart, body and soul. If emotions are felt they are received and honoured as much as pleasure.

The touch is consciousHeart to Heart communication

Before touch is entered into there is a discussion and agreement about entering into this space of connection together. There is a focus on creating an atmosphere of safety and respect, with time and physical boundaries clear and without the use of ‘energetic consent’ ie. this is where the giver ‘senses’ the receiver wants something and gives or even takes without asking. This is too open to misinterpretation, if in doubt ask. Communication is vital for both partners. Remember that eye contact is a beautiful part of communication and is also a pathway for energy exchange so include plenty of it!

General Guidelines for Tantric Touch:

  1. Begin by centreing into your own body, mind and heart, for the more centred you are the better it will be for both giver and receiver.
  1. Pay attention to what your hands do as your palms and tips of your fingers are energy giving centres. ConnectTantric Touch energy the energy circuit, allowing energy to move by having both hands, or some fingers from each of your hands on your partner’s body at the same time (a little like plugging the electrical cord into the socket). Move your heart energy through your hands as you touch. You can imagine this energy as a white light coming from your heart down through your arms and into your hands. Play with this, and remember where the mind (consciousness) goes the energy follows.
  1. Give and receive with your touch by moving your hands at a pressure and speed that creates a tingling between your hand and your partner’s skin. Experiment to get the touch right. If it feels good to you then it will likely feel good to them.
  1. Bring more consciousness into your touch. Let your hands energetically grow- visualize the light extendingTantra Massage beyond your hands and fingers and into your partner’s body.
  1. Run energy (or light) from your right hand through your partner into your left hand, then up through your heart and out your right hand, creating a circuit of energy. Giving your mind something to focus on stops it from wandering, increasing your level of presence, and ultimately the enjoyment of both giver and receiver.
  1. Bring feeling and emotion into your touch: love, nurturing, compassion, as well as passion. Touch all chakras, front and back.
  1. Any movement or touch, even greatly pleasurable ones, will lose its sensitivity if repeated continually. When you find a good area, leave it….and visit it often. Branch outward from it to another area. Unless it is just prior to orgasm then stay consistent and see what happens.
  1. Always remember it is the brain which experiences the pleasure. The best techniques will give deeper results as the mind/body connection is opened. Each of the touch modalities has its Yin (soft) and Yang (firm) expression. Use both! The brain picks up more information, energy and healing when a yin stroke is followed by a yang one or vice versa.
  1. As you touch them invite your partner to breathe in as if they are breathing in from a pool of love just beyond their feet, up through their body and out the top of their head. Then to breathe out from the pool of love just beyond their head down and out their feet. This washes their whole body with love.

 10.     Modalities:

Static touch (not moving) can be exquisite.

Moving touch, short strokes, circles, long strokes, spirals, sideway strokes and triangles.

Vibrating

Scratching.

Tapping/slapping.

Squeezing, including kneading and pinching.

Vary speed, depth, pressure and firmness of each touch, starting with light and slow.

Always check in continually as to how the receiver is enjoying a particular touch.
If they aren’t, don’t take it personally, just move on to something else.

For more on Tantric Touch click here

Sisters Doin It For Themselves

June 30, 2015 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Are we as women blocking an important pathway to pleasure?

Is it time we became Sisters Doin It For Themselves?woman daydreaming download

In my younger years, my prevailing belief about a woman’s sexual pleasure was, to find the perfect lover who would magically make it all happen as he opened my body to unimaginable heights of pleasure with stars of love in my eyes.  This belief is at least partially inspired by romance novels with lines like “He gazed passionately into her eyes before leaning in to kiss her, his tongue expertly caressing her depths, instantly awakening flames of passion deep inside of her” etc etc.

Women have been subtly (and not so subtly) conditioned by society to the idea that it is a man’s ‘job’ to ‘provide for Matthew Mcconaugheyhis woman’, unconsciously encouraging her to see the male lover as the one holding the power and prowess in the bedroom. But does it have to be this way? One of my recent Hollywood idols (yes, there still lives a teenager inside me!) Matthew McConnaughey (think Magic Mike) was dethroned in a live interview on The Actors Studio (see You Tube) by his wife Camila when she stated she wished occasionally when Matthew was home that he behaved more like the ‘throw her against the wall and ravish her’ kind of guy he portrays in his movies! Matthew grins and agrees.

This is a good reminder that men are simply perfectly imperfect human beings, just like us, not necessarily Gods in the bedroom.

This deeply infectious conditioning is also supported by our biology, as our sexuality is experienced through the body’s autonomic nervous system. The challenge of the autonomic nervous system response is that it works largely beyond the mind’s conscious control where we can’t ‘will’ it to happen, as anyone trying to ‘force’ arousal or orgasm to happen very quickly discovers. This is where we as women have traditionally handed control of our pleasure, often idealized as the woman’s surrender, over to her lover.

Yet this idea of the man being the sole provider of our pleasure can be a very one hard to give up.shadow self shutterstock_14525749 sm

But ladies it is time to do exactly that if your attachment to this romantic scenario is getting in the way of your pleasure. For when you’re pining for the perfect partner who can effortlessly make it all happen you’re making yourself miserable over something that doesn’t actually exist.

There is no doubt about it, that we can experience our lovers as perfect at different times but it’s the idea that we need them to be like this always that gets in the way.

It’s very similar for a guy watching porn who fantasizes about the endlessly and effortlessly horny, wet and willing woman on the screen.  If a woman believes she cannot experience pleasure without the perfect partner to do it for her, then she is totally giving her sexual power away. She is putting her focus and energy outside of herself and losing her voice to express what she wants and desires in the process.

In conscious lovemaking a woman really understands that pleasure is a co created experience and that she herself has much to bring. Women’s bodies take time, safety, relaxation and surrender, but can we also give it to ourselves? Where surrender is not so much to the skill of our lover but instead into surrender of our thinking minds to our feeling hearts and bodies, when we let go of trying, pushing, forcing and simply be in the moment open to pleasure arising.

Trusting, loving ourselves and our bodies, giving ourselves loving messages rather than critical self judgement. Feeling our own safety inside of us, wanting and desiring to be there and indirectly activating our autonomic nervous system whilst we’re at it!

When our partners are able to join us in this place of loving, wanting and desiring us, helping us feel loved, beautiful and safe it definitely enhances the impact of our efforts.

Yet if we are closed, untrusting of ourselves and our pleasure, physically tense and in self judgement, then the touch we experience literally feels much less pleasurable or maybe even intolerable.

Female SexualityThe autonomic nervous system is very sensitive and requires nurturing. This is where it is important for us to know our own bodies, to be familiar with them through self pleasure, to not only know what they are capable of, but to love spending time there because if we are unwilling to spend time with ourselves, then how can we expect anyone else to?

In lovemaking with another it is absolutely OK to include touching your own body, for the pure pleasure of it, to co create.

If we’re not hoping or demanding that he totally looks after us, then the more your lover can soften and drop into his own feeling body, opening his own heart, deepening his yumminess and his presence with us, sharing the role of lover and co creating the experience.

Ways to claim your sexual power and enhance your pleasure:

  1. Take the time to stop, breathe, relax, connect with your own feeling body at the beginning.
  2. Trust that if you can be fully present in your body and open to whatever pleasure may arise then pleasure will happen. This trust activates your autonomic nervous system to do its magical work.
  3. Drop trying to perform as it will take you away from where you want to be.
  4. Believe how you are is perfect right now. Focus on how you feel rather than how you look.
  5. Allow self touch to be part of your lovemaking, not as a fallback position but as a joy. If your partner sees you he will likely be inspired to join in, once he knows it works for you.
  6. Connect with your heart, be how you are rather than how you think you (or your lover) thinks you should be.
  7. Allow any emotions to be felt, even if they feel inappropriate to the moment- as feeling them opens up new pathways to pleasure. Breathe, feel and allow.

 

Tantric Sex for Men – Oztantra

February 9, 2015 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Tantric sex for men

In my journey of self exploration and discovery, I have had many realisations, and one of them is tantric sex for men is mostly unexplored and poorly understood.

Actually, the more I discover about Tantric sex, the more I realise I don’t know, as I also believe that learning  Tantra is finding that place of limitless and connection  that exists in all of us.

I have also reached an understanding that with heart and sexuality connection where there exists potential for significant increases in pleasure and heart felt satisfaction with your partner.

What this actually looks and feels like for a man, is in his ability to be able to  fully tap into and connect with his own awesome power in all aspects of his life.

From the Boardroom to the Bedroom

This potential exists not only in the bedroom but from the boardroom to the clubroom and every aspect in between.
Oztantra
For a man connecting with his heart is also him connecting with his warrior self, as they reside in the same place in a man, in his heart.

Because, when a man confronts his fears and gives himself permission to fully connect his heart and sexuality also includes accessing and owning his warrior self. Warrior intensity comes from the power in a man’s heart, and the healthy masculine warrior is pure heart.

Our couples Retreat is the perfect forum for any man to learn these skills with his partner.

Warrior Sex

In recent times, the term “warrior” has had a bad rap, as so much of man’s unhealthy shadow is seen as coming from this aspect and most men have fear about this and hold this part of Bring out your intimate warrior to get the most out of tantra. Tantric sex for men.themselves in denial. As men, denying our warrior makes our unhealthy shadow aspect even deeper and much harder to manage.

If your wondering what this unhealthy masculine looks like, then examples are all around us. Watch any news media and nearly all the story’s are about money, sex or power. These aspects are all part of the healthy masculine as well, but the healthy masculine is heart connected which totally changes any outcome. Money, sex and power without heart is behind majority of conflicts, economic difficulties and environmental challenges. It takes heart connected masculine energy to change these problems, and that is the healthy warrior.

A man in his heart connected with his warrior is a man that will stand up and protect his heart, himself, family, community and his place in this world.

It is a challenge for any man to connect with and honor this part of himself, as so much of our cultural political correctness supports the shaming of this essential aspect of healthy and sacred masculinity. It takes real courage for a man to stand up for what he believes is right, as quite often this requires him challenging societal norms. Healthy masculine will also challenge and call out  wounded feminine behaviours but in a way that is healing for woman.

Connecting with his warrior self is a journey deeply into himself and must include experiencing himself with other men in healthy masculine space.

A man connecting with his warrior is accessing his depth of inner masculine strength that all men have, yet most carry shame or confusion about connecting with this essential part of masculinity. Warrior is the healthy part of masculinity that grounds and holds safety for himself and those around him, especially when a man decides to open his heart and connect with his sexuality and with his partner.

Men have been shamed out of this place and have confusion as to what healthy masculine sexuality looks and feels like.

It is this healthy connection with his inner strength or warrior that will hold him grounded and safe in opening his heart in intimate sexual connection in his relationships.

Relationship Sex is the Best Sex

I also believe that for most men, this intensely pleasurable sexual potential is best achieved and maintained in committed and long term relationships, where all these aspects can flourish and develop.

This special and healthy gift of sacred masculinity requires nurturing, expression and connection.

Man’s fuel of desire for sexual connection comes from his open loving heart, and this is best achieved for most men in healthy relationships.

Healthy sexual desire is heart connected and heart energized for any man, and if in doubt ask a woman what she most desires in her man and it is usually to feel his loving open heart, to feel his power in loving presence.

Yet, for a man to tap into this sexual potential is much more than simply being physically capable, for it requires emotional awareness, connection and courage to really be able to connect to his true sexual heart capability.

This connection is internal and doesn’t require any mystical or esoteric skills from outside.

For any man, simply being emotionally aware and understanding and fully grasping and accessing his own vulnerable heart sexual connection is where it all begins.

Sexual Power

Strength of connection to his sexual power will require a man to be fully connected and grounded in his body and heart. This is not about being overtly sexual but simply recognizing and owning his heart intensity and sexual power. In this place, it is important for any man to claim and own his masculinity in how it is for him, and most often this may look different to how a woman would desire it to be. If in doubt, simply consider the differences between the romance industry for women and the porn industry for men. Both have their appeal, but don’t really appeal to the other. This is where men quite often become derailed in their journey into their masculinity, as they believe they have to play “the game” to get what they want from the opposite sex. This is why it is important that any man’s journey into his masculinity  requires plenty of healthy masculine connection.

When heart and sexuality are accessed and activated and connected, a man begins to feel his true power. It is in this place that man can truly connect with his inner warrior and feel his own strength and power surging through his body. Making love from this place is like nothing else, for a man can be fully in his power and feel it surging through his body, or simply be quiet and in stillness.

Mastering the skills of separating ejaculation and orgasm requires a man to feel his power, as men require access to their feeling of inner strength to manage and hold ejaculation energy successfully with out needing to shut it down. Ejaculation energy in a man is pure heart and is the energy force that creates life and requires clarity and focus to manage this energy into full bodied pleasure.

Ejaculation energy is pure heart energy with the power to create life.

Tantric lovemaking is about creating more of everything, including ramping up your ejaculation heart intensity and multi orgasmic energy and this also applies to women as well. In tantric lovemaking, this combined energy is truly breathtaking.

This masculine ejaculation heart energy creates heat for intense full body multiple orgasms, which further deepens open heart and inner connection and vulnerability with the power of sexual connection holding all this together.

It takes a man who is fully in his power to hold himself in this place and meet his partner in lovemaking.

The stronger heart connection that any man can create for himself in his relationship, the more loving pleasure he will experience during sex.

And, so will his partner, for a women desires to feel this part of her man, and if in doubt, ask her…..

In this place of accessing his masculine warrior strength during lovemaking will also impact on his partner in a deeply loving and subtle way. A woman will feel met, held and safe enabling her to open into her sacred surrender.

Gspot

A women’s Gspot is an energy point that is highly sensitive and receptive to this masculine energy and both can easily experience deeply loving, satisfying heart connected lovemaking with very little movement.

This is tantric lovemaking in its simplest form.

Are you a Spiritual Vigilante?

January 5, 2015 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

A Spiritual Vigilante is someone who creates unnecessary suffering…

by seeking to avoid healthy shame, seeing it all as toxic.

As you move into the New Year of 2015 you probably set intentions to be healthier and happier, eating and drinking Cheesecake for a Spiritual Vigilantemore consciously, getting in some regular exercise and feeling good about yourself in the process. The same is true of our spiritual selves. We seek to become better at relating with others more consciously, doing our best to move beyond limiting thoughts and draining dramas whilst becoming a little more enlightened along the way.

Sometimes these good intentions can backfire into ‘spiritual vigilantism’ where, just like with food, drink and exercise we constantly stalk ourselves to the point of madness with every lack and imperfection becoming a cause for horror. With this singular type focus on our own behaviour we can end up making ourselves much more wrong than necessary. For unlike eating and exercise relating doesn’t happen in isolation from others and we can’t always see our behaviours clearly as they’re part of a multi levelled playing field.

Despite spiritual claims that everything in life is our mirror is this simplification 100% true or are we still influenced people conscious relatingto a greater or lesser degree by our interaction with others? No matter which it takes much practice to bring clarity and ease to our relating.  The messiness of sorting out whose stuff is whose (even if it’s all ours) is both the challenge and the joy of relationship. And the healthy shame that goes with recognizing where we stuff up is an important part of the process. Just like the shame that serves as a motivation after eating cheesecake or lazing in bed to get us back on the health wagon so the shame of saying or doing something that hurts another (or ourselves) inspires us to make a wiser choice next time.

Healthy shame plays an important role in our spiritual wellbeing. However being a spiritual vigilante and taking on too much unnecessary blame onto ourselves creates a toxic shame instead, a deep cesspool of heaviness that stops us from being all we can be. This kind of shame can become deeply addictive.

Paradoxically the opposite is also true. By seeing ourselves as always working hard to ‘get it right’, by over Spiritual Vigilante not an Angelspiritualizing ourselves we play out a covert, but equally addictive cycle of appearing blameless- to ourselves and those around us. This is really an elaborate way of avoiding feeling the associated shame of being wrong. Of being human occasionally.

It is important to observe and reflect on our behaviour but too much of this can be like a reverse form of self punishment where in trying to be spiritual we forget that we are human. And we forget that being human is also divine. It is healthier to give up our attachment to our enlightened spiritual persona and accept that we are not perfect, feeling our healthy shame and practicing the Art of Grace. Grace is the practice of loving ourselves when we feel most unworthy and trusting in its awesome power to shift us back into awareness of our Higher Self where choices come with ease and openness.

The same technique works well for eating cheesecake and sleeping in!

Is your Gspot missing in action?

December 10, 2014 By Annette & Graeme 46 Comments

Many women believe they don’t actually have a Gspot, because sometimes they like to hide…

However it’s more likely to be because it hasn’t been awakened yet.

Read on for more info about this gorgeous but slippery little sucker…                                 

The Gspot or a UFO?

Knowledge of a woman’s sexuality has grown over the years. We have come a long way from believing a woman’s expression of her sexual Is your Gspot missing in action? energy to be an “hysterical paroxysm” requiring some form of “treatment”, or that she wasn’t capable of sexual enjoyment, but to “bear these things” ie sex for the benefits of motherhood. Nowadays the modern woman is claiming her rights to “her” orgasms and finding new and creative ways of experiencing them. Yet awareness of a woman’s G-spot is a relatively recent phenomena, for many years it was thought to have been as real as a “UFO”. This very real Sacred spot provides yet more possibilities for women to further know, enjoy and accept their bodies, their sexuality and themselves.

How is a Gspot different from a clitoris?

At a practical level yes, every woman is born with a G-spot. It exists as a mound of erectile tissue 1-2 finger joints inside the upper wall of her yoni (vagina), often not as far in as you might think. The gspot is not actually inside the yoni, but resides in the upper wall and can only be physically felt by touching when it has been “activated”. When this happens, it feels like an area of raised ridges, a little like an almond which becomes more distended and easier to feel when aroused and sometimes can even feel like a small pearl.  They are still part of the same genital landscape, with one external and the other inside the vagina. The clitoris is an organ that is largely responsive to direct stimulation and has an expected enjoyable physical response and generally has a limit to the no. of orgasms it can experience. The G-spot however has a much greater range of responses as in or around this physical location is the energy point of the Gspot and activating this is what takes the experience to a whole new level of ongoing waves of pleasure, unlimited multiple orgasms, emotion, even what can be described as spiritual experiences.

I tried to find an image on ecstatically radiant post Gspot orgasmic woman but it seems they can’t be faked- there is a quality she has that only comes from the real thing, hence no female images on this post.

A Gspot can be very intense!

Some women have spontaneous Gspot (or vaginal) orgasms through stimulation with the lingam (penis) or vibrator/dildo. Some women have Gspot is spiritual awakeningclitoral orgasms only, some have a mixture of both vaginal and clitoral, with or without the lingam/vibe/dildo. For many other women, the G spot still remains an unknown experience. and generally takes a greater level of self awareness and even self acceptance in the woman for it to awaken in her. It is part of her emotional body, one of the major energy centres in her body and experiencing it can bring an emotional intensity that can be unexpected or even frightening. But with knowledge and practice a woman (by herself or with a trusted lover) will find awakening this centre can allow her to access new levels of satisfaction in her sexuality that go a long way to fulfilling the intense emotional longings and frustrations that she usually hopes her partner can fulfil for her. Knowing her body in this way can allow her to share with her partner from a place of wholeness rather than a craving for fulfilment.

How can a Gspot be awakened?

To awaken the Gspot, use your (or ask your lover, or use a Gspot vibe) index or pointer fingers, with plenty of lubrication, to tap gently, move your finger in a “come hither” movement, or side to side or up and down on the area, or hold still on it and just breathe. Get to know its size, shape and moods, it can take much more pressure than your clitoris. If you feel like you need to pee you’ve found it! Squeeze your pc muscles and feel how this moves the spot onto your fingers. Have your attention firmly on this part of your body. Breathe deeply, relax and feel with no expectations.

Sometimes if your lover is looking to connect with your Gspot he can place the fingers of his other hand just above the pubic bone and press down gently, this can help him find anchor the spot between his two hands.

Some of the reasons the Gpsot can still be missing in action:

-It can be missed completely when not aroused because it feels almost flat. If you can’t feel it, just believe in it, visualize it, relax and keep touching.

– It lacks time. A Gspot can take longer to arouse and if this part is missed then nothing happens. It can be good in the early stages to take special time just to focus on it by itself. Once awakened it can be instantaneous, although it will always have it’s days on and off.

-Arousal can be short circuited by focussing entirely on clitoral orgasm, (they have different nerve supplies) so if you are looking to explore your Gspot it’s best to build stimulation in the clitoris but stop well short of orgasm, then begin to focus on the different sensations and possibilities in the Gspot.

 -Whole body tension is another short circuit. Often a woman will tense her body to create a clitoral orgasm, this is the opposite of what theGspot is the heart of woman Gspot requires. So when you feel arousal happening remember to relax, let your muscles go and deepen your breathing.

-Over use of a vibrator- this can either short circuit sensation by being too much too soon, or can toughen and numb the spot, reducing it’s sensitivity.

– Weak and/or tense pc muscles (the muscles between our legs that we feel when we try to stop the flow of urine). These muscles can suffer from lack of use, over strain etc. Begin to contract and release these muscles as often as you can each day to build their strength. Make sure you just contract the pc, not your stomach or buttocks. And relax the muscle fully in between squeezes. Squeeze along to your favourite song.

 -Sometimes a Gspot feels totally numb and so we think it doesn’t work and give up. With attention and love it can be fully activated, keep practicing.

-Sometimes the Gspot is painful when touched so we avoid it. This pain is old stored emotion from unhelpful beliefs about your sexuality or difficult past sexual experiences. With attention and love it can be released.

-The Gspot is an emotional energy centre and the feelings aroused can be unfamiliar, intense and so they are shut down. Understand that these emotions are an important part of who you are, an energy that will become pleasurable when accepted. Allow any emotions that arise just to be felt or expressed. Breathe into your heart and bring love into your Gspot.

– To fully experience the Gspot you need to trust your body, and surrender into your sensations, letting go into them with every out breath.

– A woman shutting down if her partner is uncomfortable with her intensity. Take your time and both of you build a relationship to this part of her. And men challenge yourself to learn to last longer, check out this page to both last longer in lovemaking AND increase your pleasure. It will help you build the sexual relationship (and relationship) of your dreams.

Female Ejaculation

Female sexuality and the gspot-The fear of ejaculation. This is the fluid that can be expelled from a woman’s prostate gland (yes, she has one in the erectile tissue around the urethra, which the Gspot forms part of) when the Gspot is aroused. Because little is known about female ejaculation it can be viewed as urine by the woman and/or her partner. But it actually has a different chemical composition, smell and taste from urine. It is believed to help lubricate the urethra from the acidity of urine, reducing infections and also sweetens the acidic environment of the yoni to enhance sperm survival. In tantric terms it is known as Amrita, the nectar of love and is thought to be a Gift from God, and is seen as a source of rejuvenation. Letting go of Amrita can be an exquisite bliss that is beyond words, leaving a woman and her partner renewed. But a woman can often hold back in fear of “wetting herself”. In fact it is very difficult for a woman to pee when highly aroused, just like it is difficult for a man to pee when he has an erection. Knowing this can help a woman to relax and let Amrita flow when she has the urge to “pee” that comes from stimulation of her Gspot. It can happen separately from orgasm, or with orgasm.

In conclusion

Gspot orgasm is not another goal for a woman to reach. Ejaculation is not a “party trick” to perform on demand to please her partner. It is an opportunity for her, if she chooses, to know and accept herself at a deeper level. To know and accept her feeling self. To experience herself in her Goddess energy. It is a journey of personal awakening.

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