A Spiritual Vigilante is someone who creates unnecessary suffering…
by seeking to avoid healthy shame, seeing it all as toxic.
As you move into the New Year of 2015 you probably set intentions to be healthier and happier, eating and drinking 
more consciously, getting in some regular exercise and feeling good about yourself in the process. The same is true of our spiritual selves. We seek to become better at relating with others more consciously, doing our best to move beyond limiting thoughts and draining dramas whilst becoming a little more enlightened along the way.
Sometimes these good intentions can backfire into ‘spiritual vigilantism’ where, just like with food, drink and exercise we constantly stalk ourselves to the point of madness with every lack and imperfection becoming a cause for horror. With this singular type focus on our own behaviour we can end up making ourselves much more wrong than necessary. For unlike eating and exercise relating doesn’t happen in isolation from others and we can’t always see our behaviours clearly as they’re part of a multi levelled playing field.
Despite spiritual claims that everything in life is our mirror is this simplification 100% true or are we still influenced 
to a greater or lesser degree by our interaction with others? No matter which it takes much practice to bring clarity and ease to our relating. The messiness of sorting out whose stuff is whose (even if it’s all ours) is both the challenge and the joy of relationship. And the healthy shame that goes with recognizing where we stuff up is an important part of the process. Just like the shame that serves as a motivation after eating cheesecake or lazing in bed to get us back on the health wagon so the shame of saying or doing something that hurts another (or ourselves) inspires us to make a wiser choice next time.
Healthy shame plays an important role in our spiritual wellbeing. However being a spiritual vigilante and taking on too much unnecessary blame onto ourselves creates a toxic shame instead, a deep cesspool of heaviness that stops us from being all we can be. This kind of shame can become deeply addictive.
Paradoxically the opposite is also true. By seeing ourselves as always working hard to ‘get it right’, by over 
spiritualizing ourselves we play out a covert, but equally addictive cycle of appearing blameless- to ourselves and those around us. This is really an elaborate way of avoiding feeling the associated shame of being wrong. Of being human occasionally.
It is important to observe and reflect on our behaviour but too much of this can be like a reverse form of self punishment where in trying to be spiritual we forget that we are human. And we forget that being human is also divine. It is healthier to give up our attachment to our enlightened spiritual persona and accept that we are not perfect, feeling our healthy shame and practicing the Art of Grace. Grace is the practice of loving ourselves when we feel most unworthy and trusting in its awesome power to shift us back into awareness of our Higher Self where choices come with ease and openness.
The same technique works well for eating cheesecake and sleeping in!
energy to be an “hysterical paroxysm” requiring some form of “treatment”, or that she wasn’t capable of sexual enjoyment, but to “bear these things” ie sex for the benefits of motherhood. Nowadays the modern woman is claiming her rights to “her” orgasms and finding new and creative ways of experiencing them. Yet awareness of a woman’s G-spot is a relatively recent phenomena, for many years it was thought to have been as real as a “UFO”. This very real Sacred spot provides yet more possibilities for women to further know, enjoy and accept their bodies, their sexuality and themselves.
clitoral orgasms only, some have a mixture of both vaginal and clitoral, with or without the lingam/vibe/dildo. For many other women, the G spot still remains an unknown experience. and generally takes a greater level of self awareness and even self acceptance in the woman for it to awaken in her. It is part of her emotional body, one of the major energy centres in her body and experiencing it can bring an emotional intensity that can be unexpected or even frightening. But with knowledge and practice a woman (by herself or with a trusted lover) will find awakening this centre can allow her to access new levels of satisfaction in her sexuality that go a long way to fulfilling the intense emotional longings and frustrations that she usually hopes her partner can fulfil for her. Knowing her body in this way can allow her to share with her partner from a place of wholeness rather than a craving for fulfilment.
Gspot requires. So when you feel arousal happening remember to relax, let your muscles go and deepen your breathing.
-The fear of ejaculation. This is the fluid that can be expelled from a woman’s prostate gland (yes, she has one in the erectile tissue around the urethra, which the Gspot forms part of) when the Gspot is aroused. Because little is known about female ejaculation it can be viewed as urine by the woman and/or her partner. But it actually has a different chemical composition, smell and taste from urine. It is believed to help lubricate the urethra from the acidity of urine, reducing infections and also sweetens the acidic environment of the yoni to enhance sperm survival. In tantric terms it is known as Amrita, the nectar of love and is thought to be a Gift from God, and is seen as a source of rejuvenation. Letting go of Amrita can be an exquisite bliss that is beyond words, leaving a woman and her partner renewed. But a woman can often hold back in fear of “wetting herself”. In fact it is very difficult for a woman to pee when highly aroused, just like it is difficult for a man to pee when he has an erection. Knowing this can help a woman to relax and let Amrita flow when she has the urge to “pee” that comes from stimulation of her Gspot. It can happen separately from orgasm, or with orgasm.
relating to another?
e from us, even seeing them as a perpetrator. So although conflict is part of our growth cycle in the midst of this intensity our inbuilt survival system- the primal part of our brain- will create an instinctive fear, flight or fight response in us, causing us to freeze, pull away to protect ourselves, or fight back. Occasionally these responses ARE appropriate, more often they are a limitation to growth and change.
where they are coming from. Keep your attention on your breath and your heart as you listen. This does 3 things- it means you are dealing with what is real rather than what your fear based brain might hear in its place of trigger. It allows the other person to relax as they feel really seen and heard. It also allows you to remain in connection with the other. This creates a little space in the conflict.
11. If you find yourself going into a fight mode rather than a freeze the same steps apply, make your anger ok. Choose to feel it rather than making it wrong. Let it move through you. Use it as a tool when you express your part of the situation, use “I” language, own it without dumping your anger onto the other, let the heat of it be felt in you but from a place of control rather than explosion. Anger is the energy of change and can be a powerful ally if used well. You can also check underneath your anger, especially if anger is a recurrent theme, and if something bigger is driving the anger response such as fear or shame. If you become aware of these self soothe as above.
