This intriguing contribution comes from interested reader of Oztantra newsletters Nenad Stojadinovic… (if you’d like to send us your own thoughts on sex or relationship, please do and we’ll include the best of them here!)
“Ever wonder what makes sex so special? As in a minefield?
I mean, it’s not like sex is the only interaction between people; we do lots of really significant things together either as couples or in groups. We work together in teams,
we join clubs and play sports, we create companies, we share passions, join military forces, stitch quilts, build barns, etc etc. and they generally turn out OK.
Imagine if people did dinner like they did sex, wouldn’t that be funny? Imagine a table of couples having dinner one evening …
Mary sits and stares at her plate. She really wants an exotic entree but doesn’t know how to pronounce the name and doesn’t dare ask. She eats boiled noodles.
Dave decides that he would rather sit at another table and vanishes, glass of wine in hand
Cynthia reaches over to Rafik’s plate and takes it away
Harry and Daisy sit and glare at each other over empty plates
Jayden grabs his young girlfriend Skye’s dessert and passes it around to his mates
Samantha arrives with a huge Jamaican guy that nobody knows
Alan bolts his entire dinner and leaves before Leslie finishes her entree
Danica and Frank sit opposite each other, decide to share their main and then pass their desserts to each other for a taste. Frank is secretly delighted that Danica likes his somewhat exotic dessert and plans to make it for her one evening at home
Paisley and Moonji take some of the plants from the centrepiece and set fire to them over their empty plates. They pronounce themselves nourished and sated
Meanwhile, a bunch of folks gather together outside, bang a drum and extol the virtues of not eating love! “
Here at Oztantra we believe the reasons for all of the above behaviours are due to our fears of intimacy, of feeling and our sexual shame- which is why we’re passionate about teaching the skills to behave in ways that connect us, rather than keep us isolated and alone.
Even just reading the story above may give you insight into some of your own behaviours and the courage to make different choices in bed by seeing yourself at dinner…
We hope your next meal is a buffet!