Orgasms, Orgasms and More Orgasms
As humans we’re capable of many different types of orgasms- 23 kinds in fact!
We often limit ourselves to the idea of just one- peak orgasms, therefore missing out on the many other possibilities that the orgasm offers. Sometimes thinking we’re not even having one when we actually are…
Orgasms come in many shapes and sizes and all of them are valuable- even the little half, almost, ones shouldn’t be dismissed. Why? Well, from little things big things grow!
Orgasms and the search for them (when not under pressure) can bring in some playful and beautiful moments of sexual intimacy too.
So what types of orgasms are there?
As mentioned the most common idea of orgasm is that of peak orgasm: the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual pleasure, often associated with other 
involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body, general euphoric sensation and, frequently, body movements and vocalizations (this is the Oh God, I’m coming moment). In a man, orgasm is generally accompanied by ejaculation, or release of his semen. The period after this orgasm (known as the refractory period) is often a relaxing experience, attributed to the release of oxytocin, prolactin and endorphins.
Other types of orgasm:
Orgasms can be bone shaking and spine tingling; they can also be so subtle that we don’t even realise they’ve happened…even a pleasurable shiver is a kind of body orgasm. Orgasms are generally accompanied by pleasurable sensations of heat and/or tinglings (what we call orgasmic energy), tension, fullness and release but they can also be accompanied by others such as expansion, opening, bliss, freedom- where our ordinary minds switch off and we feel the freedom of being mindless- what is known as the ‘little death of the ego’. We generally feel a change in our physical state after orgasm, we feel relaxed, expanded, lighter, more open or somehow different.
- Genital focussed- where the sensations of heat, tingling etc are experienced only around the genitals, generally peak style.
- Full body orgasm- where the sensations are experienced in many or most areas of the body. Sensations can be more fluid.
- Ejaculatory- the orgasmic energy is accompanied by the pleasurable release of semen, or female ejaculate called Amrita.
- Non ejaculatory- orgasmic energy peaks without fluid release (for men too).
- Explosive- where the pleasure seems to explode out of your body.
- Implosive- where the pleasure expands through your body, can feel like pleasure or melting/opening sensations.
- Multiple Orgasms– several ongoing peaks and releases of orgasmic energy, generally without fluid release every time.
- Spot Orgasms- P spot for men (either external or internal); Clitoral, G, P, A, C, U and Cervix for women. Clitoral orgasms are usually limited, others can be multiple, particularly the P and G spots.
- PC Orgasm- yes, contracting your pelvic floor muscles and breathing fully can actually take you into an orgasm.
- Valley Orgasm- this is where it can seem like nothing is happening but if you allow yourself to drop into it (in those moments of stillness during lovemaking that we so hope you’re having) where surrender happens and you open into something else, hard to define, it can be filled with connection, love, peace, expansion and more. You know it’s happening as your state has changed, worth exploring.
- Solo Orgasm- the ones you have by yourself can be truly delicious if you take your time.
- Anal Orgasm- your anus has a large range of nerve endings that can be awakened to pleasure.
- Non genital orgasm- arousal and peak/release of orgasmic energy can be experienced anywhere in the body- not only nipples but given time and consistent tantric stroking virtually any area of the body can become orgasmic.
- Breathgasms- through breathing alone.
- Mindgasms- where your fantasy takes you all the way.
- Spontaneous Orgasm- can happen anywhere at anytime eg. during exercise, if you’re energy sensitive or just lucky.
- Chakra Orgasm- energy expansion and release in a chakra ie. the heart or third eye (can be visual).
- Transcending orgasm- where the orgasmic energy expands up your spine.
- Emotional Orgasm- the pleasure that can arise after a release of emotion in lovemaking.
- Soul Orgasm- may not be associated with physical pleasure but contains images or senses that relate to us personally eg. feeling reborn or having a glimpse of infinity. Afterwards you feel a profound shift in the state of your body.
- Spiritual Orgasms- a sense of being at one with everything.
- Firebreath Orgasm- this is one we teach at our workshops and is a combination of many of the above!
- Anorgasm- no orgasm, or at least orgasm as we traditionally think of it. This occurs in 1 in 3 women during sexual play and up to 2/3 of women during penetration. It is rare, (or rarely reported as a problem) in men.
How do we experience more orgasms?
The main skill in experiencing more varieties of orgasms is in understanding what is possible, having an open mind and being willing to hang around in lovemaking long enough to experience it. Men are generally more single genital orgasm focussed but this is by no means what they are limited to.
The next step is to explore:
Stroking new areas of your body with your full presence, for touch helps to awaken your sensations, and your presence helps you (and your lover) to experience them.
Playing with your breath as breathing is the driver of your pleasure, (especially as you get close to orgasm and as you go into it. Most people stop breathing here not knowing they’re depriving themselves of greater pleasure!).
Keeping your body relaxed rather than tense as energy flows through relaxed muscles!
Keeping your attention inside your body as this is where orgasms happen.
Make friends with your pelvic floor as its contractions are literally a sexual energy pump!
Try some different positions.
Using your imagination (for where the mind goes the energy follows)
Letting go of trying too hard to get there, tensing up and overriding your pleasure.
Make orgasm a pleasurable journey of exploration rather than merely a goal to achieve.
uncomfortable feeling we as humans are emotionally capable of would you, Yet it does! This feeling is shame. In intimate relating we find ample opportunities for both creating shame and for healing it, particularly in our sexual intimacy. Dealing positively with shame will take your intimacy and sexual pleasure to a whole new place.
released. This is a pleasurable but ultimately limited approach as there are only so many ways and times you can do it before it becomes overly predictable and requiring more friction to get the same response as the skin becomes desensitized and numbed out. And it keeps you in your Ego Brain focussed on performance and attached to outcomes.
Continue to do so and begin taking some deeper breaths into your belly, exhaling out of your mouth. This allows your body to relax and your energy to spread as your breath is an energy driver. In energy sex you relax at the beginning rather than at the end, as energy flows better through relaxed muscles. You can see this by moving your hand hard and quickly for a few moments- how different does it feel? Go back to light, relaxed touch, move your hand up over your shoulder, through your hair, around your face and explore how it feels without any agenda other than to see what happens. You will feel your body awakening to the touch. In lovemaking the same thing will happen to your whole body, brain and beyond, and to your partner’s as well as it opens up the spontaneous, creative, pleasure feeling part of your brain that has no agenda.
3. The same thing happens to our genitals- they become armoured because of sexual wounding. And sexual wounding isn’t limited to sexual abuse… sexual wounding can happen simply through “doing” or having “unfeeling” sex. The current pornographic model of sex, sadly our most common teacher, is focussed on the “doing”, and on what sex looks like because porn is a visual medium. Rather than focussing on what it might actually feel like which is what we are actually interested in. Over time this hard and fast porn style thrusting by under prepared genitals just creates sexual numbness.
favourite essence.
