It’s obvious when we’re actively giving in lovemaking, those moments when we completely lose ourselves in service of our partner, totally there for them and loving every moment of it.
And there are those delicious moments when it seems like you’re just flowing together, not knowing where one person ends and the other begins, and nobody appears to be giving, it’s just happening (called entrainment by the way).
It’s less obvious when we’re actively receiving, for 
men or women. It’s less talked about and a skill not often understood.
The experience of it can transform our lovemaking experience from ordinary to magnificent!
It’s a mindset firstly, an opening of your mind, a letting go of control and allowing whatever is happening to be utterly as it is.
Yet it’s not just passively laying there.
It’s having your mind fully engaged in the moment, actively breathing and feeling your sensations fully.
Letting go of any inner fear or resistance you might have.
Totally surrendering to yourself through your lovers touch.
Rising to meet your lover’s touch, with your lips, hands, breasts, legs or hips.
That’s the thing about surrender here- it’s surrender to yourself, not to your partner.
Although you automatically feel more connected to your lover as a result, and they to you.
Surrender to yourself can look like surrender to your lover but the internal reality is very different, for you remain connected to and safely in charge of yourself, trusting yourself that you will be ok in whatever happens.
It does not mean tolerating something that feels uncomfortable, but asking yourself the question of are you letting it in?
Can you move your body in a way that opens it further?
Can you breathe in the sensations you’re feeling, transforming them?
Can you open your eyes and let your lover see you?
Is there any resistance you can drop? Emotion you can acknowledge?
This can help us go underneath yourself into something unforeseen yet wonderful.
Expressing gratitude to your lover for the gift you’re receiving builds the connection and trust between you.
Sometimes surrendering invites activity, a rock of the hips, a surge of energy, heat, movement, coming from deep within.
At others it invites even deeper stillness, a sigh that opens into freedom, melts like wax in fire or expands into bliss with intuitive imagery of waterfalls, stars, mountains, earthly or spiritual beings. The potential is unlimited.
If what your lover is doing still doesn’t feel good, then ask for it to be changed.
Active receiving is one of the most precious gift you can give to both yourself and your lover as it opens not only the heart through the gratitude it brings, and the spirit through the acceptance it takes, but also the doorway to greater pleasure through the expansion it offers.
Give it a try sometime soon!
pleasure) somewhere inside themselves even if they’ve long forgotten it since. Human beings are very logical creatures and our decision no doubt made good sense to us at the time. Now your internal decision maybe still lurking beneath the surface denying you the pleasure you’re capable of, even making it difficult for you to be fully present in your body. If this is the case, perhaps it’s time to explore your decision and let it go.
When you have an answer that has a lot of energy or feels right in your gut take a few minutes to pause, reflect on the thought you’ve stopped at, breathe deep into the feeling(s) that comes with it. Let this feeling(s) flow through and out of you. Notice any details that fill themselves out in your mind as you do so.
Imagine she has a bikini on and the parts covered by the bikini are where you touch last. Stroking the less obvious places like her face, the back of her neck, her ams, hands, feet, inner thighs and buttocks all add to her sexual fire.
Light- yes, guys you have a light sabre between your legs!). You start at his centre and invite him to spread his sexual pleasure through the rest of his body, rather than remaining and being released from here. You help him in this by stroking one hand from his Lingam across the rest of his body, inviting his sensations and attention to follow, whilst keeping your other hand on his Lingam, his sexual power centre. Beginning at his centre he can relax, open and expand, seeing that he doesn’t need to wait until those few moments at the end for his pleasure.
involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body, general euphoric sensation and, frequently, body movements and vocalizations (this is the Oh God, I’m coming moment). In a man, orgasm is generally accompanied by ejaculation, or release of his semen. The period after this orgasm (known as the refractory period) is often a relaxing experience, attributed to the release of oxytocin, prolactin and endorphins.
uncomfortable feeling we as humans are emotionally capable of would you, Yet it does! This feeling is shame. In intimate relating we find ample opportunities for both creating shame and for healing it, particularly in our sexual intimacy. Dealing positively with shame will take your intimacy and sexual pleasure to a whole new place.
released. This is a pleasurable but ultimately limited approach as there are only so many ways and times you can do it before it becomes overly predictable and requiring more friction to get the same response as the skin becomes desensitized and numbed out. And it keeps you in your Ego Brain focussed on performance and attached to outcomes.
Continue to do so and begin taking some deeper breaths into your belly, exhaling out of your mouth. This allows your body to relax and your energy to spread as your breath is an energy driver. In energy sex you relax at the beginning rather than at the end, as energy flows better through relaxed muscles. You can see this by moving your hand hard and quickly for a few moments- how different does it feel? Go back to light, relaxed touch, move your hand up over your shoulder, through your hair, around your face and explore how it feels without any agenda other than to see what happens. You will feel your body awakening to the touch. In lovemaking the same thing will happen to your whole body, brain and beyond, and to your partner’s as well as it opens up the spontaneous, creative, pleasure feeling part of your brain that has no agenda.
