Actually it was a bit confronting…

Our Sexpo experience led us to ask ourselves some interesting questions.

Now, we’re old enough not to be naive…(?)…about an event like Sexpo.

We knew it would be a very different environment from what we would find at, say, a Mind, Body & Spirit Festival. And we knew the surroundings would be in our face, over the top sexual. We had no problem with that, in fact we enjoyed it.

In our talks it was a relief to know we wouldn’t raise any eyebrows being upfront about sex. In fact it was a challenge to be upfront enough!

And we loved seeing people wandering through the crowd expressing their sexual personalities through their outfits.

Sexpo is well run, without sleaze…

We found the event to be well run and professional, with a total absence of sleaze. And we guess putting on this kind of event would present more challenges than anyone could imagine. So well done to the organisers.

Where was the enjoyment at Sexpo?

What was confronting was seeing how much of an impact our sexual conditioning still, along with porn and technology, has on peoples sex lives.

The whole energy of Sexpo seemed to us to be about perfect looks, hard bodies and overt performances. Along with hundreds, if not thousands, of various pleasure enhancing gadgets for sale.

Yet we saw few people really enjoying themselves, actually being in their bodies and feeling their innate sexual energy. Even the absolutely stunning, near naked women we saw, projected little or no sexual energy.

People appeared reserved in their enjoyment of what was some quality entertainment. Maybe because it wasn’t a nightclub environment, without alcohol (up the front), people held back.

At the stand next door to us we did experience lots of  genuine enjoyment. The crew from Woodhoods’ penis outfits were seriously intriguing people.

And it definitely happened in the amateur strip competition. Participants challenged themselves to take a vulnerable leap of faith .

Maybe the feeling was all happening down the back in the fetish and strip rooms. This is where the biggest line ups were.

We have no judgement about any of these aspects of sex. In fact, we’re tried and enjoyed many of them ourselves in the past. We want to know how people can enjoy them more…

Experiencing some Sexpo Virtual Reality

It took ourselves a while to settle into the space at Sexpo, to relax, be open and authentic. But we did and had a good (though after 33hrs, an exhausting) time.

We even tried out some V.R goggles for a surreal virtual sex experience, finding the technology a hoot.

We talked about sex

Our two talks on sexual healing went well.  We had some great conversations with people. Sharing the exploration of sex as a wholistic experience, one that we still have much to learn about. Rather than being a fixed performance we have to get right.

Annette talked to some sex workers too. They were struggling with the idea that, as sex workers they are now being seen as empowered beings. Ones able to give their clients incredible experiences every time. Rather than as human beings just doing their job, with good days and some not so good days.

We were forced to ask ourselves some questions

It has made us wonder, where has the authenticity, aliveness, the freedom, the intimacy and not to mention the heart gone in sex??

Maybe it is just that as human beings we’ve been taught so well to numb out our innate sexual energy and put it in a box with a certain label. Perhaps our sexual conditioning doesn’t allow us to be seen having a good time in a public sexual environment? And maybe we don’t know how to enjoy our sexual feelings without having to express them in actual sex (which was illegal at the event)?

We know that the people who attend an event like Sexpo are a small percentage of the overall population, so what we experienced may not be representative of the majority of folk.

Sexpo lead us to ask:

Are people genuinely happy playing in superficial society, porn and technology induced sexual roles? Are we all afraid to seek the truth of our own core sexual energy? Has authentic sex become too scary and vulnerable, or just too unfamiliar?

And are we at Oztantra missing the point teaching sexuality that is alive, free, joyous, intimate and heart based?

Love is not only romance

When we talk about heart in sex here we’re not talking romance. We’re referring to the deeper power within our hearts with the capacity to uplift us beyond our limitations and show us who we truly are.

This power was reflected recently in the movie Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, when Freddie Mercury felt the call of his heart.

This call lead him to move away from his superficial sexual lifestyle and find the place in himself that felt truly like home, which he chose to share with a long term lover.

Authentic Sex

At Oztantra, we know there IS a place where sex can be authentic, vulnerable, free, deeply connecting and even exciting, without the pressure of performance.

And we’re unwilling to be seduced by what glitters alone.

We can enjoy and teach glitter, when it is based in gold.

At Oztantra, our aim is to keep looking for new ways to keep spreading the word about what is possible for all of us as sexual  beings, to expand awareness of our unique awesomeness and potential in sex, in relationship and in life.

To give those who are looking for something outside the social norm a real alternative.

Ways like Annette’s upcoming online course for women called “The Opening”, and a Relationship App with daily insights and activity reminders based on our book ‘Coming Together’ that you can share, whether you’ve been in relationship for a short, or a very long time!