Highly Trained and Skilled Professional
A sex surrogate is a highly trained and skilled professional sex partner who specializes in practicing intimate sexual healing through physical contact with their clients.
A professional surrogate session is a safe space to learn and open into intimacy and experience sexual healing in a 
way that is both held and supported.
Sexual Surrogacy sessions provide clients with a safe and focused supportive space for them to work through their issues that normal therapists are unable to.
Surrogacy sessions are intimately focused sexual healing sessions enabling a client to create new and better ways of experiencing their sexual and intimacy issues that otherwise prevent them from engaging in healthy sexual relationships.
Sexual Healing with Intimate Heart Connection
These issues can be the result of past sexual or emotional abuse, an unhealthy relationship, body image issues, loss of confidence from child birth or simply having very little self confidence.
Sexual issues also include not being able to achieve orgasm, numbness, vaginal pain, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction are some of the more common issues that clients seek support with.
Both men and women clients also have an opportunity to choose to learn multi orgasmic skills and how to have deeper and more sustainable full body orgasms.
Most men don’t know what is possible for them in their sexuality and if they do, most struggle with how to learn the advanced love making skills and a skilled surrogate is a direct and practical way to learn.
Regain Confidence in Intimacy and Vulnerability
Even adults who feel frozen in fear and are unable to engage in a healthy sexual relationship are able to find their way during these sessions.
Loss of confidence in, and experiencing fear being in intimacy and vulnerability are common issues that these types of sessions can address.
A surrogate session will become an option after lengthy talking based counseling sessions have had limited success, and it is important to realize that not all surrogate sessions require nakedness or touch to impact.
Often, therapists will refer and support a client for sessions with a specialist surrogate, because surrogacy can reach parts and depths that normal therapy process’s cannot.
Move Past Negative Body Image Beliefs
For example, Anne had major self confidence issue’s over the size and shape of her labia.
After two sessions with a surrogate, her self image changed from shame to feeling special and letting go of her shame of the past.
During these sessions, Anne was encouraged to talk about her shame and also to peruse a book that contained glossy colour photos of dozens of different women’s genitals that was published specifically to show how amazingly different each woman is.
With her agreement to begin showing her labia, tentatively at first with gradually more ownership and confidence. She soon overcame her shame and resistance and let go all negative self beliefs.
Many couples loose confidence in their sexual and intimacy abilities in their long term relationship and working with a specialist can help to overcome these blockages.
Let Go Of Toxic Self Beliefs and Shame
Julie asked for sexual healing sessions because her long term marriage wasn’t working for her and she had shut down emotionally and sexually.
She had a previous marriage that was very abusive and highly toxic, and her husband was frustrated, hurting and angry, and simply didn’t know what to do about it. Their relationship was closing down and neither could get past what was not happening.
Julie chose sexual surrogacy to re learn and connect with her vulnerable sexual self and how to be present in intimacy.
During this process, which included penetration, her toxic memories and unexpressed emotion from her abusive marriage came to the surface.
Her surrogate healer was able to meet and hold her during this, where she was able to express and let go all her negative beliefs and patterns and discover a new and healthy way of being and connecting with her sexuality. Her healer was also able to meet her in intimate connection and validate this part of her so she could reconnect with herself in a new and healthy way.
Sexual surrogacy sessions create a safe and supportive environment, and while most find it challenging to get there, they can and do achieve excellent results and outcomes.
Learn Intimacy and Vulnerability Skills
Sessions enable clients to move past major issues that they previously believed impossible.
Having penetrative sex is possible, but not the only option in these sessions and is often not required as there are many other ways of healing shame, gaining self esteem and becoming sexually empowered, especially regaining sexual empowerment after abusive experiences.
Yoni/gspot awakening for women and lingam healing sessions for men are very powerful, and even simply having conversations in a safe counseling environment can be life changing.
End Premature Ejaculation and Learn How to Last Longer
David was in a long term marriage and was becoming increasingly frustrated with premature ejaculation. His partner was also very frustrated as well, plus David was loosing confidence and withdrawing from his relationship.
As a couple, they went to a surrogate and in two sessions, David had learnt a new way of being in his sexuality and how to last longer.
During these sessions, the woman surrogate directly massaged David’s lingam (penis) while coaching David on how to stop and breath when he got lose to his edge. Davids partner was present in this session as well and they both learnt a new way of being around this frustrating issue.
Having them both in the session introduced a new understanding between them which developed into a deeper and more intimate connection between them.
When the client is feeling safe and progress is happening, sessions can continue and deepen, with each client session creating a session space that is unique for each time.
Some clients, in conjunction with their referring therapist may choose to have a series of sessions with an ultimate goal for them to achieve.
This can be as simple as gaining confidence with their body image, healing sexual shame, overcoming sexual trauma or even learning how to have more fulfilling sex.
It takes confidence and skill for a surrogate to be genuine and in integrity with a client, to be open hearted, intimate in vulnerability and to be able to perform sexually, as if this is not genuine, it can be even more damaging for a client.
Obviously, the skill level required in performing any form of surrogacy is very high.
Recovering from Betrayal and Divorce
Shauna was in a long term relationship when she discovered her husband had been having a long term affair behind her back.
After a messy divorce and corresponding loss of confidence in herself and the resulting10 years of no sex or relationship, she had a session with a professional surrogate couple.
During this session, which commenced with spending time talking, discussing what this may look like and what she was looking for, she agreed to proceed.
She also chose to have a close female friend in the space with her, as well as the professional couple.
The session proceeded, with a lot of laughter and de shaming, with the couple making love and inviting Shauna into their space.
Shauna was invited to move slowly into the space, feeling into herself and when she felt her confidence returning, she invited her male healer to enter her and to penetrate her walls and blocks.
With two other women in the space supporting her, she felt safe and held enough to slowly open and connect with her sexual self.
This was happening with her healer moving slowly with eye contact and presence with her, and making this about her and her connection with herself.
Shauna felt waves of emotion moving through her and was encouraged to make sounds and express what she was feeling.
Her efforts certainly received support and encouragement and there was a lot of laughter during this stage.
Once Shauna started moving through her walls of emotion, she started feeling real pleasure, and was encouraged to allow herself to move and seek her pleasure for herself.
With both healers focusing on and supporting Shauna, her walls soon dropped away with her empowerment and self confidence returning.
After a while, her healer asked her for permission if he was allowed to enjoy himself as well, to “join in the fun”.
Shauna whole heartedly agreed and encouraged him to have fun and join her in pleasure.
Shortly after, Shauna started feeling her orgasmic self coming alive and for the first time experienced her ejaculation.
When Shauna felt complete, the session slowed down, with her healer withdrawing, keeping eye contact and laying down beside her and holding her, with the others also holding her as well.
During follow up afterwards, Shauna has stepped into her new and empowered life and hasn’t looked back.
Sexual Surrogacy as a therapy requires a high degree of skill and integrity as well as being a therapist who is also comfortable and understanding of emotional release.
If you want to know more about this and how to find one for yourself…..
Read more about Graeme’s journey through healing his own sexual abuse
call us and we can support you in your journey of discovery.
