Because the skills to make love and to thrive crazy are the same…
There is so much going on in the world at the moment
it’s easy to feel like you’re out of control.
If it’s not negotiating work hours, navigating children/family activities,
it’s managing budgets, your internal stress or finding “you” time.
From a background of trying to understand the politics screaming at you on social media and how they might affect you.
None of which can sound very sexy…
Yet it’s just what Annette and Graeme (we)
have found as the very motivation for connection these days,
even if it starts out as the exact opposite!
Annette and Graeme share this with you, as it has become our most common way of connecting. It’s been about about letting go of all the external ideals, rules and should’s that we’ve been taught about connecting with each other. About how it should look. Because all of these ideas have come from outside of us, or from our past, and haven’t really been authentic to us.
Doing the following steps has stopped us from hiding from each other, and given us the power to be real with ourselves, and with each other.
Which has allowed the energy to flow between us in many and surprising ways.
Learning to be connected to ourselves, and real with each other, is helping us deal with all the ‘craziness’ of the world around us.
And from our feedback, it is working with our clients as well…
The part they can benefit from a hand with is being able to connect with, and express themselves as they are, where we are happy to be of support.
Because all of this stuff, even though it can seem extremely important,
actually happens on the outside of us.
Making love, being sexual, or even just connecting,
demands us to connect with the inside of us.
Which is the most vital, life affirming and thriving part of us.
It’s first about how you are feeling,
and then how you connect.
In order to do this you and your partner can try the following:
1. Agree to take the time to connect.
This can be challenging, believe it is worth it!
2. Drop any expectations of how it should look.
3. Show up as you are, connect with the inside of you and share it.Even if it is messy; when you own it as yours, it works. Acknowledge each other here, because it can be a scary, yet healing and transformative thing to do.
4. Share what you most desire in this moment.
(It doesn’t need to be the same as your partner, or fill any sexual playbook.It can be to share, pause and breathe, or have a long hug. Or it can be very hot and sexy, there are no wrong answers).
5. Express yourself, and hear your partner, without judgement.(This can feel so good it’s all you need!)
6. Feel into how you can make both desires happen,in a way that works for both of you. Be open minded and get creative here.Once you start desiring it can be surprising what arises.
7. Get started and enjoy yourselves!(Remember to breathe deeply along the way, as this expands everything and makes it better.)
8. If one of you needs an orgasm to feel completed and it hasn’t happened as part of your desires, make it ok for you/them to do it themselves to finish.
9. Compliment each other after and even celebrate your mutual outcome, for celebration is powerfully motivating!
10. Take the nourishment and awakening this brings to help you make the most of you in the rest of your lives.
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