Yes, it IS possible.
Imagine your woman loving your cock…not able to take her hands off it…seeing a sparkle in her eye when she comes across it. Maybe even feel some heat build up in her body, bringing a blush to her cheeks and a wanting expression to her face, her legs spreading just a little.
Believe me, it’s something that many women would actually love to experience.
The way to step into this place is three fold
1. Start cultivating a heart on rather than a hard on.
When you’re connected to your heart in sex it’s a whole different experience for both of you. It feels like a sharing, a giving. With some passionate ravishing along the way. Rather than a using. Using her is continually showing up to sex thinking it’s about performing, giving her an orgasm so you can feel good about yourself. Or focussing being able to off load your sexual energy into her vagina whilst your head is in fantasy land. If this is you, over time your woman is going to shut down and find lots of excuses and reasons to not have sex.
It’s important to be gentle with yourself here- this is how you’ve been conditioned to be. To see being in your heart as scary, yet it’s not, your heart is ultimately the safest place to be.
The How To:
The way to cultivate a heart on is to place one hand on your heart as you’re self pleasuring or having sex. Bring your heart into your awareness. Notice what your heart is feeling, allow whatever its feeling to be felt. This is the way to open your heart for under these feelings is love. When you’re penetrating her feel like you are pouring your heart into her. She will feel it and respond in ways you might not have thought possible.
2. Start mastering your sexual energy.
A woman’s gspot can take up to 30-40 minutes to be activated and her cervix, 40-60 mins. So if you’re in and over and done with in 10 mins or less, she’ll be left wanting. She’s not going to get anywhere near her full capacity for the sexual deepening. Of what she is capable of- the multi orgasmic ecstasy, the wildness, passion, love and transcendent states she holds in her body. Which is about so much more than just orgasm.
And neither are you. For you are capable of just as much as she is. Mastering your sexual energy is so good for stepping into your masculine power you’ll soon find you will want to do it for yourself, not just for her. And she will love you for it.
The How To:
The way to master your sexual energy is to start noticing your body in sex and in your self pleasuring (masturbation). Notice every time you start to tense up your muscles. Especially as you get closer to your edge of coming. Notice where you are on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being over the edge into orgasm. When you feel yourself about a 7 pause for a moment and take 3 deep breaths, exhaling out of your mouth. Let all your muscles, especially those around your pelvic floor, buttocks and thighs relax (this will not be easy at first, but it will happen). Then go back to self pleasuring or making love. Vary the speed and depth of your thrusting so you can feel what is happening inside yourself more.
Keep Practicing
Keep practicing the pause and the breathing (let your partner know what you are doing and why). Don’t let slips ups put you off course. With practice when you pause and are inhaling, imagine you are inhaling your sexual energy (the heat and tingling pleasure) away from your genitals, up along your spine and forward into your heart. As you exhale and relax imagine your sexual energy spilling out from your heart into hers. It’s hot. And this is just the beginning.
3. Deshame your cock.
Many men carry shame about their cock, even if they might cover up this shame with a lot of sexual bravado. And we don’t mean just shame about his size. Men carry shame about the violence men have done with their cocks down the generations and across the world. Men can feel shame just having an erection. Cultivating heart ons and mastering your sexual energy will go a long way towards healing this shame. Your partner can help by playing a light hearted game with your cock called “My pet for the day”.
“My pet for the day” game
She treats your cock like her favourite pet and pats it several times a day, talks to it, feeds it, loves it, takes it in her hand for a walk. The man just allows it, without worrying about needing to have an erection, that’s not what this is about. It’s about valuing the cock and the part it plays in its owner’s sense of self, without judgement. He will love you for it and will be more inspired to do the steps above.
Her shame is not yours
Sometimes a woman can have resistance to your cock which can be about unreleased emotion from feeling used as a sperm receptacle. Or she can have conditioned shame about penis’, cocks and erections. Or she may even have some trauma from past experiences. Her feelings are hers, it doesn’t mean you should avoid wanting the above. Give her the space to feel her feelings without taking them on. Stay clear in your heart and in can be a healing into a delicious new place for both of you.
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