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Finding new ways to work with new year resolutions

January 1, 2025 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

And set yourselves up for the best year in your relationship yet.

Whether you are in a relationship with another, or with yourself…

It’s that time of year when we turn to reflections of what has been over the last 12 months and desires for the next.

In the busyness of the end of year festivities we can fail to take the time to really reflect on the year that has been. Yet time taken to review and reflect the past can help us find more focussed desires for the future. Even if we do it on our new year holidays or over the month of January…

And when we make half-hearted new year resolutions they quickly turn into failure. Because we don’t follow them through. True? And all this does is make us feel bad about ourselves.

We’ll show you how to avoid this disastrous recipe…

By using an approach that puts us into a compassionate, heart and feeling based place to reflect and make resolutions in. This gives us a much higher chance of being successful. As we’re creating from a place of fullness, of gratitude and of “I can”. Opening us up to unforeseen possibilities and pathways we might otherwise miss. 

Why New Years Resolutions so often don’t work

Rather than letting our ego scare us into thinking about what we didn’t do, what we did wrong and what we can’t do. Then slipping into thoughts of how hopeless and incapable we really are.

Focussing on our mistakes can be seen as a place of motivation for us to “do better” and “be better”.  

Yet studies have shown that focussing on where we’re lacking can do just the opposite. It unconsciously puts us into a state of freeze and negativity, making it much harder for us to achieve our goals.

So how can we reflect and set goals from a place of true possibility and self belief?

Magical Goal Setting

Set aside some time, together or separately, get yourself cozy, feel safe and supported in your body.  Set yourselves up with pen and paper, as it activates a broader part of your thinking brain than a keyboard does.

Reflection time:

1. What are 3 things you did well this year, thinks that you are proud of yourself for? 

It might have been focussing more on your health, improving your financial position, starting to meditate, finding a new job or taking time out for yourself.

Take the time to literally feel good about yourself for achieving these things. Feel the uplift, expansion or similar in your body, making it more real and more affirming in your mind.

Learning from the past time:

2. What are 3 things that you learned this year? Three ways that you might have grown or discovered about yourself? Including your relationship self.

This could be seeing one of the ways that you have unconsciously been pushing your partner away. Finding new your opportunities for connection. It could have been setting clearer boundaries that allowed both you and your partner to trust in you. Or making pleasure more of a priority and enhancing your connection. Or being willing to be a little more vulnerable and honest in your communication.

Gratitude time:

3. What are 3 things you are grateful for in the last year?

Gratitude is a well know heart opener, compassion builder and good for your mental well being. So it’s a great tool to add in to your reflection toolkit.

Things that you’re grateful for can be small or large. As long as they bring a feeling of warmth, opening, gentleness, compassion, even happiness in your heart. 

And they’re unique to you. Go beyond the obvious things, allow time for anything that might surprise you to pop up.

Now that you’re in this open and feel good space it’s time to focus on the future.

Embodying your goals:

4. What would you like to experience this coming year? Rather than focussing on a mental goal, explore what would you like achieve that you can see as an experience? Athletes have been successfully doing this for years, way before The Secret manifested itself.

You can choose to do your goals together, as having a common relationship goal helps you feel you’re on the same team. Plus you might like to have an individual goal for your relationship self- how you want to be in the relationship.

How would you feel, behave, look, do or say if you experienced this desire/goal? Flesh it out in your mind AND body, experience it as having already happened. The more fully you do this the more deeply your desire goes into your unconscious, helping you move towards it.

Finding your word:

5. Finally, find your word for the year.

Even if you do just ONE thing to help focus your year on a positive outcome, this is it!

This is something that is gaining increasing popularity. Mainly for its simplicity in an increasingly complex world. Yet one word can have a surprising capacity to influence, a bit like making it your North Star. You can choose it for the whle year, or six months, choosing again at the end of the financial year.

It can be helpful to meditate on what you would like your word for the year to be, until you get one that has the right fit. For example, pleasure, trust, connection, security, laughter, direction, purpose, ease, service, boundaries. Again, it’s something totally unique to you.

So there you have it, a new way to make the most of 2025!

And if any of your relationship goals include:

  • giving your relationship a tune up
  • resolving a stuck place
  • gaining a new perspective
  • reigniting your relationship spark
  • healing infidelity
  • finding a common purpose

We are here to support you to find the most direct path, with concrete results!

Ph 1800 623 262 or email us confidentially HERE

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Graeme 0457 966 696
Annette 0437 966 696

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