By expanding everything around it,
giving you more than what only “pushing for the goal…” can do.
There must be a billion articles on how to have a bigger, better orgasm.
It’s got to the point that orgasm is the main, if not the only focus of sex.
It’s short, sharp foreplay, then her orgasm (if she’s lucky), penetration, huff and puff to his orgasm, then sleep. Sex done!
In this format orgasm is the ultimate goal.
And let’s face it, orgasms can be totally delicious and renewing! Or at least, stress releasing.
But how much is orgasm the ultimate satisfaction?
Especially when you’ve spent the whole time trying to create this required outcome in a minuscule few seconds.
We’re here to say there is MUCH more than this, and we don’t want you to miss out on it!
And playing with this “more” can create an openness in you that invites a bigger, better orgasm.
Or, if an orgasm you’ve longed for doesn’t actually happen, you can feel fully fulfilled by the rest!
Step 1: Drop the goal of orgasm
This might seem totally contradictory, yet it doesn’t mean orgasm is NOT going to happen. It means that you are not in your head trying to manufacture a specific outcome.
Instead of focusing on where the moment is hopefully leading…you can stop performing and just relax!
Bringing your attention to who you’re with, rather than on what you’re doing.
What is actually happening between you? How is the energy between you – flowing or waiting? How is the breath – deepening or staying shallow? How are you allowing yourself to be seen and seeing the other person?
These are observations, not judgements.
What more of them can you bring? Without focussing on the other person, start with you. Allow yourself to flow naturally in the moment. The connection and intimacy here bring natural rises in pleasure and energy. All over you, not just in one place…
Step 2: Trade doing for feeling…
Doing is about stimulation…feeling is about sensation.
Stimulation is about looking for a result. Sensation is about being IN the experience.
Slow down. Stop noticing what you, or your lover are doing, and notice what is happening in YOU. Notice what your partner’s touch actually feels like. Notice where it’s landing in your body.
LET GO of judging whether it is going to take you where you want to go. Notice where it is impacting you RIGHT NOW.
Breathe into the sensation, notice how it changes as you exhale thorough your open mouth.
Deepening into any sensation allows for even the most simple moments to feel absolutely electric.
The more you do this, the more your whole body opens to sensations of all kinds. Take time to notice what is happening in your lover’s body as well, so the experience is shared.
Step 3: Practice building pleasure without searching for climax
Most people don’t know that an entire world of pleasure exists right at the edge of orgasm.
Or even at the edge of feeling intensity, whether you sense an orgasm coming, or not.
Instead of pushing past intensity because you think the next moment will be even better, pause there.
Feel into the No. 7 , 8 or 9 of sensation, before you disappear into No. 10.
Breathe into it and soften around it…
Allowing energy to build and move without rushing to a release.
Smile, exhale, open, be at ease with what happens.
This creates more space in your body for even more inviting feelings, including orgasm, to be felt.
Enjoy this new moment of experience without missing out on it. Make a sound of how wonderful it feels, letting both yourself and your lover know how it is.
Step 4: Explore other forms of erotic feeling…
The above steps allow you to open to pleasure in unending ways –
- waves,
- pulses,
- ripples,
- rolls,
- tremors,
- shakes,
- meltings,
- implosions,
- explosions and more…
Your body knows, in ways your mind hasn’t even dreamt of yet.
Feel your body come deeply alive in a variety of ways… Feel connected to your partner, as well as to yourself. This is what is possible when you stop defining sex as a single, solitary goal.
It’s releasing pressure and enjoying the potential of each and every moment.
So that if, and when orgasm arrives, it’s a fuller, richer experience.
We love mind blowing orgasms as much as the next person…
We just don’t want you to miss out on all the possibilities of pleasure along the way…
Moments when your entire being can feel awakened and alive. Moments that can feel entirely different compared to the blissful disappearing in an orgasm.
Moments that you might not have known were possible.
Ones you can appreciate and talk about with your lover for ages to follow.
So the next time you have sex, or make love, slow down and feel each moment deeply, as above.
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