is an experiential gathering exploring relationship in a conscious way…
Conscious Relating Circle is a Fortnightly Gathering In and Around Byron…
For singles and couples…..
Everyone interested in relating is welcome.
Call or email Graeme or Annette TOLL FREE 1800 TANTRA (826 872), or email link
The Conscious Relating Cuddle Space is a structured and fully facilitated playful space for adults to explore communication, boundaries and desires in non-sexual, fully-clothed connection.
This is an opportunity to learn and experience the art of non-sexual touch and affection in a fully-clothed and safe environment. This is also a rare opportunity to learn and understand personal boundaries in a safe and clear way. You get to experience your own boundary-setting techniques and actually try them out….
At the beginning, there will be coaching, guidelines and experiential demonstrations to support you with boundary setting while connecting with your heart and expressing your desire from your heart.
Connection with yourself and clear communication are the keys.
It is certainly possible to practice and experience saying “no” all night, and not touch or cuddle anyone… and also changing your mind is ok, and practice that and see how it feels. And… the Cuddle Space is about a lot more than saying no. It is also about connecting with and owning what you would like for your self, and then expressing that, regardless of the outcome.
The Cuddle Space is about feeling safe and confident…..
while learning and practicing skills that are rarely taught any where else.
Facilitators of this evening will be acting as support for any challenges that may arise. It is as simple as raising your hand if something feels uncomfortable and you are unsure in how to proceed.
If you have concerns,
please notify facilitators before or during. Contacting them prior to evening is OK if that feels right for you. You may use our 1800 826 872 (TANTRA) number.
If coming with a friend or partner, have your relationship boundaries in place prior. If you feel like you may need support with this, please contact facilitators prior to evening.
Cuddle Space Rules…
1. Clothes stay ON at all times.
2. No means NO.
3. Always ask first, and do not proceed with out a yes. (A “maybe” is NOT a yes.)
4. Be aware of your hygiene (clean teeth, shower, clean clothes, etc.)
5. BE ON TIME . (No entry after 7pm as doors will close.)
6. Be comfortable 🙂 The more you can take responsibility for your own comfort levels, including asking for what you want and saying No to what you don’t want, the more enjoyable your Cuddle Space experience will be!
Is it okay to come if I am single?
The answer is Yes! If you are a living, breathing human being with an interest in relating consciously with yourself and with others, both in intimate relationships and in general, then you are welcome!
You are also invited to join the Conscious Relating Circle on Facebook.
It’s a place for us to build community, share information, and follow up with each other between the live events. Here’s the URL for the Facebook Circle: https://www.facebook.com/
Inspired by a recent visit by Dr. Deborah Taj Anapol,
we are building community dedicated to connecting and deepening in the art and practice of conscious relating.
What is Conscious Relating?
Letting the Love that is your Essence Dictate the Form of Your Relationship.
Most people enter into relationship hoping to bring more love and joy into their life. Yet so often our relationships turn out to be hard work – full of challenges, confusion and misunderstandings… and we wonder what happened to the love and joy? And we continue to look outside of ourselves for the answers.
Conscious relating is a path for creating intimacy…
based on complete honesty, allowing, understanding, compassion and trust, allowing us space to connect to and communicate from our essence..
Come along and practice getting more present in your relating, more available, more aware, more open to what is. Slow down and see the layers in yourself and those around you, get clear on your relationship dynamics, understand what you might be missing and how to create it.
Conscious Cuddle Space Nights are about adding in the intention to explore physical connection through cuddling – connecting with awareness, being in the moment, without agenda, where sexual energy is welcome but not acted out, with a safe space held by facilitators Graeme, Annette & Yollana.
In our relating, when we allow ourselves to be seen exactly as we are, in openness, vulnerability and connected to our authenticity then we give others permission to be also. And with our hearts more open, with the need for our defences less rigid it becomes clear that love arises. This love can take many forms, and the appropriate form for each individual can naturally emerge. This shift has implications for home and family structures as well as creative partnerships and world-changing activities.
When we give ourselves permission to actively choose what our relationship looks like, whether it is living alone, with one other or relating with more others we see it is about creating a framework that best supports and challenges us to grow into a more authentic Self.
In the old paradigm, when things get hard, many partners feel alone with their challenges and are expected to figure it out on their own. This is hard enough, and can be even harder to do with a commitment to relating consciously. What we are missing, is a supportive community to lean into when challenges arise, and to support our commitment to relating with integrity.
Annette & Graeme have graciously offered to hold space for these evenings and share approaches and practices which support individuals and partners to reconnect with the space of Love, bring light to unconscious relationship
patterns, and make choices that align with who we are.
Annette & Graeme are in a longterm committed relationship. They have been longtime friends of Dr. Deborah Taj Anapol, who has recently and unexpectedly passed away. Taj’s work inspired the creation of this Circle, who was passionate about helping people who want to deepen their relationships with themselves, their partners, their sexuality and spirituality.
Other great relating resources include Deborah’s website:www.lovewithoutlimits.com and her books, including The Seven Laws of Love and Polyamory for the 21st Century.
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Everywhere I go these days people are struggling with questions about the right use of their erotic energy and how this energy can express in ways that are at once personally satisfying, supporting sustainable relating, and serving spiritual evolution. While there is more to sexual ethics than deciding when and with whom to engage sexually, clarity on this piece can go a long way. For a larger scope, check out the discussion of sexual ethics in my book Polyamory in the 21st Century.
There is no simple formula which can address all these concerns for one person all of the time, or for all people some of the time, for the simple reason that people can be at different levels of physical, emotional, and spiritual development, not to mention these levels changing in different stages of life. Difficulties and misunderstandings almost always arise when two – or more – people come together who are at different levels of development and different stages of life especially when these differences are not openly acknowledged and clearly understood by all involved.
Different levels are likely to be present when there are large age differences between partners. Levels are not reliably related to age, although experience usually is. This is one of many reasons that in the past, people often looked to elders, sages, or astrologers for help in making sexual decisions. Another reason is the ease with which we can all be blinded by lust, infatuation, and egoic agendas.
Recently I stumbled upon a tattered paperback book called The Teachers of Gurdjieff by Rafael Lefort. The book, published in 1966 when I was just a teenager, recounts the author’s journey across the Middle East, Turkey, and Afghanistan in search of the source of Gurdjieff’s teachings. G.I. Gurdjieff, for those not familiar with this enigmatic man of Armenian Greek ancestry, brought a Westernized version of Sufi teachings to Russia and then Western Europe, in years between the first and second world wars. Gurdjieff’s teachings found their way to America where I first encountered them in the early 1970’s. By then, they’d had a profound influence world-wide and attracted a large following though Gurdjieff himself had long since left this world.
My own spiritual journey soon took me on to other schools, but not before learning a practice presented as “The Sensation Exercise” which eventually revealed itself as a major foundation for many further developments and which I still share in many of my groups. This practice, like the Taoist Deer Exercise and the Pelvic Heart Breath Cycle, which I also share widely, has a cumulative effect. Doing them once is unlikely to effect any lasting change but doing them daily for months or years can be transformational.
One memorable bit of Gurdjieff lore that remains in my memory is that Gurdjieff once said that his quest for enlightenment definitely would have been derailed if there had been a second obstacle as big as sex. I can’t say for sure what he meant by this. I can’t even remember where I heard it. And it doesn’t matter because it’s been food for thought over many decades.
Back to the book which is available free online athttp://sufismo.com/DOC/
Some would say that the whole paradigm of the “teacher” or “guru” is old paradigm and better replaced with the concept of “spiritual friend” which resonates with me so long as we acknowledge the existence of different levels of development. Until you have the discernment to accurately gauge your own development and that of others, you are at risk in both the old and the new paradigms. In the old paradigm you’re at risk because you may end up following a charlatan whose spiritual ego, consciously or unconsciously is intent upon using you for his own ends. In the new paradigm you’re at risk because you may fail to recognize and value the pearls of wisdom humbly offered to you by one with no agenda and no marketing plan.
Some early spiritual friends of mine who went by the name UV Family when I encountered them in the early 1980’s focused my attention on the need for a new sexual ethic. Their self imposed standard was “no sex before marriage.” Before you tune out this teaching, let me clarify that they did not mean legal marriage which they had absolutely no use for. Nor was their concept of marriage limited to one person at a time or implying any kind of financial dependency. Rather, they were pointing to the reality that engaging sexually creates a lasting bond energetically, and were suggesting that we not share sexually with anyone we were not willing to be permanently connected with. The purpose of this standard was not to limit the number of partners – they had many – but to put forward some selection criteria. And to formalize the sexual sacrament with a simple, private ritual acknowledging a conscious choice to create a bond.
The most important selection criteria for the UV’s was Shared Purpose. That is, rather than depending upon and identifying with visual stimulation, fantasy, conditioning, emotional desires, acquired information, or hormones to shape our erotic experience, they were suggesting that we chose others who are aligned with our values and intentions for being here. Of course this implies that you know your own purpose, and that it be more specific than simply to love and be loved (because that would include everyone and put you right back where you started – confused!).
In this way relating becomes a foundation for giving your gifts to the world. Committed sexual relationship serves to nurture, empower, and enlighten lovers as well as all those coming into contact with lovers who stay present and embodied while strongly activated erotically. When high voltage sex is approached with presence and merging of both physical and energy bodies, direct contact with the Divine becomes possible. Now the erotic energy – whose function is connecting heaven and earth – is truly serving our spiritual evolution!
