Sexual Healing, the Myth…
As a man, and a sexual male who is in a long term and committed relationship, I find it challenging to hear and read the current debate around sexual healing by male “healers” with women.
With this in mind, I have decided to speak out as a professional who works with men and women, both singles and those in long term relationships.
Sexual Healing Sessions
I have had many sessions with men and women, both as couples and singles, and most importantly on my own or with my partner Annette.
Either way, always following up with debriefing about my experience with her.
I am also speaking from my place in my long term relationship with Annette, who is my lover, teacher, critic and business partner.
How I show up with her is my measure in how I am with a client, as it is also with her and her clients.
The relationship we share is a powerful space of deep clarity, challenge and compassion, and a gift that we both bring into our work.
We are “owner operators” in every sense of the phrase…..
Don’t get me wrong, I have on many occasions had sessions that involved varying degrees of nakedness and sexual touch.
One thing that I have not heard, in any of this “debate” around male sexual healers, is just how powerful a sexual healing experience can be for a woman, where she is fully clothed and not being physically touched.
How would it be, for you as woman to feel safe, and sexual in a way that is invited by a space that is clear, intense and healing?
Where the healing is in simply experiencing a deeply personal loving open hearted man in his sexuality, without personal agenda?
Where the opening is to herself rather than to the man, in a space held by clear masculine presence ?
“The myth is that sexual healing must involve nakedness or sexual touch, even sexual penetration”.
In fact, I believe the exact opposite is true in most cases.
Sexual Healing is not about sex
It is healing simply for a woman to be penetrated by clear masculine sexual heart presence while remaining fully clothed and not being physically touched.
In this space of not having sex, but in feeling her sexuality opening deeply as she opens her heart to herself, especially in a space held by deeply personal and loving masculine heart space.
Experiencing the difference between “universal” love and “deeply personal” love is a big part of what sexual healing is about, particularly while being held by clear healthy masculine presence, and this is not about having sex or even being sexual.
How many women have opened their hearts, only to have it quickly closed down by unconscious sex ?
Remembering, that most women have been hurt by unconscious men, and in too many cases, this masculine shadow or unconsciousness can also be cleverly disguised as “healing”.
Abuse can happen when the woman opens to the healer rather than herself and is where she may loose herself and be susceptible to being taken advantage of.
Especially when she is moving towards her sexual empowerment and freedom.
Opening to herself
Clothed or not, a woman opening to herself will soon feel and tell a man with a hidden agenda where to go with it!
Over the years through our work, I have had many conversations with men “desiring” to learn the art of sexual healing and with out exception my direction with them is to learn about their own sexual heart connection first.
How many women out there want to do something sexually empowering for themselves, but don’t want to have to bare their souls to more of the same, especially if it is even more cleverly disguised as “healing”.
Increasingly, people and particularly women have become fed up with the co dependancy that has plagued the modern Tantra movement and are expecting more depth and clarity from their experiences.
As a woman, simply trust your feelings first and foremost, and seek out a session that brings YOU in touch with your own awareness, coming into your feeling body and your heart, then from that place, connecting with what it is that you desire for yourself.