Relationship & Sexuality Counselling Specialists

OZ tantra are Relationship Counselling Specialists

  • About
    • About Oz Tantra – Tantric Relationship Advice
    • About Graeme Sudholz
    • About Annette Baulch
    • Oztantra Media
    • Speakers Page
  • Relationship Counselling
    • Coming Together Book: Solving The Mystery of Intimate Sex and Relationship
    • Hot Relationship Topics
    • Relationship Counselling
      • Couples Ultimate Getaway Byron Bay
      • Oz Tantra On Line Relationship Course
      • Oztantra V.I.P
    • Online Relationship Counselling
  • Sex
    • Coming Together Book Contents
    • Hot Sex Topics
    • Sex Counselling
    • Sexual Healing
      • Healing Sexual Abuse
      • Yoni Healing for Women
      • Lingam Healing
      • Beat Your Porn Addiction With Tantra
    • What is Tantric Sex REALLY Like?
      • Tantric Coaching online
      • Couples Tantra Sessions
      • Individual Tantra Sessions for Women
      • Individual Tantra Sessions for Men
    • What Is Tantra?
    • How Tantra Prevents Boredom in the Bedroom…
    • Preventing Premature Ejaculation
      • Multi Orgasmic Man
      • Tantric Sex for Men – Podcasts
      • Separating Ejaculation and Orgasm
    • Gspot
  • Events
    • Couples Ultimate Getaway Byron Bay
    • Workshop Schedule
    • Retreats
      • Ecstasy and Intimacy Couples Retreat Bali
      • Couples Retreat Australia Ecstasy & Intimacy
      • Private Couples Retreats
    • Weekend Workshops
      • Power of Yoni – Explore the essence of who you are as a woman
      • Sexuality of the Heart
      • Oz Tantra On Line Relationship Course
      • Oztantra V.I.P
  • Blogs
    • Oztantra Blog
    • Previous Blog Posts
    • Videos
    • Tantric Lover Podcasts
  • Contact
    • Contact Us – Annette and Graeme at Oz Tantra
  • Articles
    • Articles
    • Hot Relationship Topics
    • Blog’s
    • Hot Sex Topics

Are You Letting Unexamined Myths Run your Sex Life?

March 29, 2023 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

We all have beliefs about sex.

Beliefs that have come from our families, our culture, our religion, the media and from our own experiences.

Any thought that you think repeatedly over a period of time and believe to be true (whether it is or not) is considered a belief.

Beliefs that have often been around so long you have stopped questioning them…

Or perhaps you’ve never questioned them.

We say that it is always a good time to question your beliefs. To work out whether they are true. It’s even better to work out if they are working for you, or against you. Knowing what benefits they provide, what limitations they may create.

Discussing your beliefs can be a great way of building depth, understanding and connection in your relationship too.

We offer 25 common beliefs here to give you a starting point.

Belief 1: Men and women’s genitals are totally different and there are only two types. Not actually true. Our genitals begin in the womb exactly the same and only differentiate at 6 weeks. The Y chromosome then develops and sends the male genitals to the outside. It’s why some people are born with a mixture of genitalia, as the individuation happens uniquely. This is also how women have a whole lot of arousal tissue under their labia, have a prostate and are able to ejaculate.

Belief 2: The clitoris consists of this little button at the top of a woman’s labia and that is all. The clitoris has now been found to have legs that extend from the head, or the glans of the clitoris. They extend down either side of the vagina, underneath the labia. Which makes arousal of the whole vulva area important to female pleasure.

Belief 3: Girls are born with an intact hymen that is ruptured by the penis during her first intercourse. When in fact the hymen comes in many shapes at birth, some intact, some with holes and some virtually non existent. Nothing to do with penetration, and to do with all sorts of negative consequences in some cultures. Bleeding during first sex is often more about roughness and a lack of lubrication, than a breaking of the hymen.

Belief 4: Before the full understanding of conception and the role of semen and sperm, men were thought to have nothing to with the creation of children. Women were thought to create babies all on their own.

Belief 5: Men are capable of having only one orgasm, and that this orgasm can only happen at the same time as they ejaculate. Even that orgasm and ejaculation ARE the same thing. Men have been found to orgasm and ejaculate separately, just the way women can both orgasm and ejaculate separately.

Belief 6: Masturbating whilst in a relationship means that you aren’t sexually interested in your partner. Not true at all. Masturbating can happen for many reasons- the partner is unavailable, or the persona is maintaining their most important sexual relationship- the one that begins with themselves from which all others spring from.

porn user

Belief 7: Men think about sex much more than women, every 7 seconds to be exact. Not true. Research discredits this persistent stereotype, which would amount to more than 8,000 thoughts about sex in 16 waking hours. In one study, the median number of young men’s thought about sex stood at almost 19 times per day. Young women in the study reported a median of nearly 10 thoughts about sex per day. Men and women in the study thought about food almost as much!

Belief 8: Women’s bodies are always hairless with tucked neatly tucked in labia… this has become a porn based myth that is not true. Having genital hair is a personal choice and labia come in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colours, and all are normal.

Belief 9: Sex is only good when you have an orgasm. The truth is determined by each individual couple. Some may include the degree of intimacy as a higher priority.

Belief 10: A man needs to have an erection to feel sexual pleasure. We’ve been in a room full of men in full bodied orgasm without an erection in sight. And a woman doesn’t need to be wet to be aroused.

Belief 11: The female GSpot doesn’t exist. Yes this one is still around. With just as many studies showing that the urethral sponge (GSpot) does exist, as does female ejaculation. It can just take time to awaken.

Belief 12: The size of the man’s penis determines the quality of the sex. Totally not true. It’s what he does with it that counts. It also depends on the size of the head, and even the angle of the penis. Good sex is also determined by the degree of female arousal. This is because arousal helps swell clitoral/vaginal tissues making them feel more snug. Even the tone of the pelvic floor muscles can make a difference.

For your information a review by the British Urology journal confirmed that (in Caucasian men at least):

  1. The average flaccid length of a penis is 3.6 ins/9.1 cms.
  2. The average circumference of a flaccid penis is 3.7 ins/9.4 cms.
  3. The average erect length of a penis is 5.1 ins/12.9 cms.
  4. The average circumference of an erect penis is 4.5 ins/11.4 cms

Belief 13: Female ejaculation is urine. The presence of prostatic hormones in ejaculation fluid show that it is chemically different to urine. Although at times it can be more chemically similar, especially if there is a lot of emotion going on, it is not the same. Ejaculation also comes from the prostate, not the bladder.

Belief 14: Orgasm and climax are the same thing. We say no, so do various studies. Of course, confusingly, some studies say they are the same. The typical definition of an orgasm is a peak of physical pleasure. One that is accompanied by pelvic floor muscle contractions, and for men the release of semen. Endorphins and oxytocin are released into the bloodstream. This is followed by a refractory period where no further arousal is possible. We would describe this as a climax. We find that orgasm can be defined as any experience of pleasure that expands through the body. And it’s accompanied by some sort of mind shift. A mind shift that makes us feel as if we are somehow different to how we were before. Our state will have changed. We have perhaps become more relaxed, more at peace, more open hearted, more connected etc.

Belief 15: Male sexuality is biological, female sexuality is psychological. We see that given the space, men bring a deep psychological and vulnerable aspect to their sexuality just like women do. It’s just that they are so often conditioned out of it and not given permission to express it. Ask any man who has been sexually rejected. And sex is often the only way a man can experience tenderness, softness, surrender, closeness, touch and affection in a culturally acceptable way.

Belief 16: Male sexuality is predatory in nature. Relationship therapist Esther Perel says in her experience it is the fear of being predatory that controls male sexuality more. For a man in relationship, seeing that he is pleasing his woman is such a turn on. Because it confirms that he is not hurting her, his deepest fear. Esther says women don’t have this fear. Women more often have a sense of caretaking. Taking care of her man before she can fully abandon herself to her own pleasure. She worries more about not pleasing him, than desiring to feel his pleasure.

Belief 17: Vaginal orgasms are the proper way for a woman to orgasm. Over 70% of women orgasm via the clitoris. She can often learn to orgasm vaginally, but it is not required. Mutual orgasms at the same time aren’t either. They’re nice when they happen but not worth pushing for.

Belief 18: It’s pathological if a man wants a lot of sex. It’s no more pathological than if a woman wants lots of romance or intimacy. Sex is his love language.

Belief 19: Women don’t like sex as much as men. They don’t want to initiate sex or be more in the active, rather than the passive role, in sex. And women are not as sexually adventurous as men. None of these are essentially true. Women have just been conditioned out of them for a few thousand years – good girls don’t, and girls who do are sluts. Given permission, which is happening more often these days, women can enjoy and seek sex just as much as a man.

Belief 20: Watching porn makes a man more likely to cheat on his spouse. In fact, the opposite has been found to be true.

Belief 21: If a man enjoys sexual touch by another man, or enjoys anal sex it makes him gay or bisexual. Same goes for a woman enjoying pleasure with another woman. These labels don’t apply unless you want them to.

Belief 22: Women want less sex as they get older. More often they want better sex as they get older. They do not peak sexually in their 30’s, they can peak at any age. It’s much more about how comfortable they feel with their bodies, themselves and their sexuality.

Belief 23: If a man loses his erection in sex it means he thinks his partner is not sexually attractive. A man can lose his erection for any number of reasons. Such as drinking too much, fatigue, stress about work or money, relationship issues or even past abuse issues. The same can be true for a woman who doesn’t orgasm during sex, it is not always about the skill of her lover.

Belief 24: Women are not as visually stimulated as men. Not true, again this is a symptom of their conditioning, they have simply shut it down.

Belief 25: Men who watch porn prefer it over sex with their partner. This is like comparing apples and oranges, they are two different things. If he IS preferring porn to sex with his partner, there is something else going on. As shown in the well researched book Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure by David Ley. Just like there is no officially such a thing as a sex addiction, something else is going on.

You can add even more of your own beliefs to explore.

Any thought that you think repeatedly that has a positive or a limiting impact on your sexual experience is worth exploring.

What Does Your Sexual Energy Mean to YOU?

September 8, 2022 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Our sexual energy lies at our core

Most people think of sex, as just something they do between the sheets at night with an intimate partner, but it’s so much more Tantric Sexual Energythan that. Treating the heat and tingling we feel in sexual pleasure as such will change your relationship with it and with each other.

Sexual energy is the primal and creative energy of the universe.

Everything that’s alive was created by it: animals, plants, humans, and even the universe itself by the first big bang. We ourselves were all created by an orgasm, even though most of us cringe at the idea of our parents having sex.

In fact, sex reminds us all of our humanity.

Almost everyone has succumbed to the urge to get vulnerable and naked (and let’s face, even slightly ridiculous, if you think about it!). We’re linked through the ages by those moments of total, sweaty abandon.

“Modern men and women are obsessed with the sexual; it is the only realm of primordial adventure still left to most of us. Human lives otherwise are pretty well caged in by the walls, bars, chains and locked gates of our industrial culture.”

Sex At Dawn, Edward Abbey

Yet sexual energy is so much more than just biology.

It’s your animating life force energy, the creative part of you that brings new life within yourself, as well as bringing your offspring.

Sexual energy is present in:

A relationship as attraction, arousal, passion and pleasure.

It’s equally present in your enthusiasm for interesting projects in work or hobbies.

You’ll find it in the energy you use to run around the back yard with your children and grandchildren.People with disabilities stepping out of shame

It lies in your inspiration for new ideas and creativity, and it’s the energy you feel when you’ve had a shift in your level of self-awareness.

You’ve probably noticed that after really satisfying sex, you find yourself with increased enthusiasm and vitality for living.

Sexual energy opens us and makes us available for life.

When sexual energy is transmuted up through the body to the heart (rather than drained away) it becomes love…

Equally, when sexual energy is transmuted up through the body to the higher chakra centres (rather than drained away) it becomes spirit…

At a physical level

Sex has multiple benefits from reducing high blood pressure and stress, producing dopamine to build confidence whilst inspiring action, oxytocins to enhance affection and bonding to opoids that produce feelings of happiness and wellbeing. Sex keeps us physically fit, and we keep fit to enjoy better sex (and we have to keep fit to have great sex!). Our pleasure may even boost our immunity and reduce chronic inflammation- the source of many disease processes through the production of Nitric Oxide.

Saying YES to your sexuality

Saying YES to your sexual self, connects you to a very deep part of yourself. Even deeper than the love and pleasure you share with your lover. That place within you has nothing to do with actually having sex, it’s your power centre.

Sex is power

This is why it’s used to sell everything in the world from cars to ice cream; and it’s also why the church, culture, society, parents and now pharmaceutical companies want to control it. Even science now tries to explain it- good luck with that! The explanation can never be the experience.

Being connected with sex in a healthy way makes you powerful within yourself

Healthy sex makes you available to deep vulnerability, compassion and healing. It’s worth cultivating your sexual energy for these reasons alone. And the more aware of, connected with, and authentic in your sexual self you are, the more your sexual pleasure flows. It’s a win-win situation!

It’s a natural human desire to want to feel good

Man in prayerHumans commonly seek experiences of altered or uplifted states of consciousness.

Feel good moments that can be as simple as having a glass of wine, watching a sunset, taking a moment in prayer – or as complex as taking mind-altering drugs, or doing a BDSM ritual.

This is part of our longing to break free from the burden of our ordinary minds, and to connect with something larger than ourselves to make sense of the world. Almost every community on earth has some kind of ritual or spiritual practice to access something they call God or Spirit. From shamanic plant use to whirling dervishes to seeking God through prayer.

Suppressing and corrupting this energy is life-taking and unhealthy

For it denies our true nature and makes us neurotic. Suppression of this energy comes from our fear of and conditioning around its power. Sexual problems generally relate to unconsciously acting out the repression, or the unhealthy expression of this energy, rather than by its healthy expression.

Sexual Energy is Natural, Powerful and Beautiful

Sexual energy is catalytic: you can’t see it or measure it, but you can notice its effects. This energy arises in you, changes your state and leaves you feeling different afterwards.

Sexual energy is not just physical

Sexual energy is emotional, psychic and subtle, and it impacts your soul-body. When you’re having sex you’re connecting a lot more than just your bodies. It fosters your capacity for wonder, your absolute confidence and your openness to the world and to your heart. If you can experience this simultaneously with another human being in a loving, sexual context, it’s absolutely magical.

With your sexuality...it is your vitality, your life force

Sadly, it’s the only way most people feel absolute freedom – in that moment of orgasm where they’re free of their everyday, ordinary, limited minds. This experience is known as the surrender or ‘little death’ of the ego.

Almost all of us have been there at some time in our lives, and we want to go back as often as possible

We promote our sexual energy by saying YES to it through how we live, as much as what we do in the bedroom.

You say YES to your sexual energy and potential for ecstasy by:

• Eating plenty of fresh foods

• Living in an aware and embodied way that minimises your negative stress

• Developing a ‘felt’ sense of your body so you know its real signals, including hunger, thirst, tiredness, sexual desire etc

• Minimising your addictions (as they take you away from your felt sense)

• Getting regular exercise, including some that challenges your body

• Getting adequate rest

• Taking a few minutes each day to stre-e-e-e-tch your body

Say YES also by:

• Taking regular breaks from your electronic devices

• Finding gratitude

• Appreciating beauty

• Doing something just for the joy of it

• Doing something purely for sensual pleasure daily

• Making life-affirming choices rather than life-defeating ones

• Being honest and in your integrity

• Doing something for others

• Doing something you love

• Keeping your mind active by learning new things

• Being willing to take healthy risks

• Finding a way to express your inner wild man or woman (the primal part of your nature) to balance the time you spend being civilised

• Developing some kind of spiritual practice, whatever this means for you

You can say YES in the act of sex by:

• Having life-affirming sex through tantric transmutation practices, rather than the energy-draining kind

• Keeping an open mind to the connection between sex and your spirituality

Reviewing your own relationship with this part of you

It’s important to explore the relationship you have with your own sexual energy so you can care for this awesome power in a healthy way. And so you can talk about it more clearly with your partner.

So ask yourself- How do you view your sexual energy? How do you manage it- both in sex, and in your everyday life?
Is it something you nurture, cultivate, savour, transmute, deny, avoid, shut down, drain yourself of or let it control you?

Your answers will give you insight into what is possible in this part of your life.

This post is an excerpt from our book, Coming together- Solving the Mystery of Intimate Sex and Relationship

The Myth Called Porn Addiction

July 29, 2022 By Annette & Graeme 1 Comment

Porn addiction is a myth.

On numerous occasions, we have come across people in relationships who are struggling with what they believe is an obvious problem. They believe their problem is one partner’s addiction to big bad porn.  We commonly find it is not actually the porn addiction that is the the problem. It is a symptom.

In his article “Why we Should Stop Calling Porn Addiction an Addiction”, Sex Psychology 2015, Dr. Justin Lehmiller has measured brain waves of drug addicts and porn users. He found that porn has the opposite effect on brain waves that drug addicts experience This indicated that porn should not be called an addiction, the word addiction should be replaced with something else.

Porn is easy to blame

It is confronting for couples to realise that blaming porn merely shifts the focus away from what is really going on in their relationship. It shifts responsibility to something that is cloaked in shame and conveniently easy to blame.porn user

Anything which is done in secrecy and isolation usually leads to shame. Isolation and shame then make it difficult for those involved to share true intimacy with others.  Especially with society turning up the heat by publicly blaming or shaming porn.

Many men are already afflicted by sexual shame, due to unresolved sexual projections from society, religion, the media and even therapists’ unresolved issues about sex. Demonising porn just makes it worse.

We believe that porn itself is not wrong

It’s the behaviours that go on around it that make it so.

Porn targets sexual desire and sexual vulnerability. It’s also reliable, and without fear or rejection, something sex in the real world is definitely not!  It gives the watcher a place to indulge their desire for sexual variety without risking going outside their relationship. Porn creates a fantasy of fulfilled sexual desire, enticing with its easy access and its privacy. Particularly when the watcher doesn’t have to deal with any messy emotional crap. It can leave men thinking this is how all sex should be, instant gratification with little effort or emotion.angry woman

This pisses most women off, and rightly so.

Many men struggle with the emotional intensity of relationship. Not because they are incapable of feeling. But because they have been shamed about, or indoctrinated not to feel or express their emotions.   It is important to understand that, given the opportunity, men are highly capable of emotional work. We see it all the time. Especially with the right motivation – the potential for truly fulfilling sex.

A different perspective

As a woman, you might be feeling the hackles on your neck standing up at this image of a man taking the easy way out. Take a moment to see things from his perspective, through an example a bit closer to home. The romance industry, widely available through movies, books, advertising and chats with your girlfriends is like porn. It exerts an equally manipulative effect on a woman, similar to the impact that porn has on men.  Stories of instant attraction to a perfect man offering a woman everything her heart desires with very little real effort on her part is the female flip side of porn.  These romantic fantasies have a similar romantic couple“passive making” impact on women. They create many false expectations for men to live up to, and leave women frustrated when they don’t.

The difference is, romance has general society’s support and its effects slip beneath the radar. While men carry the worlds’ unconscious judgment and shaming of their desires for sex and porn. This adds even more intensity to their feelings of sexual shame and emotional inadequacy. Shaming any man about his porn habit is shaming the man deep into his core. This shame accumulates and can eventually shut him down, both sexually and emotionally. Leaving women frustrated at his increasing lack of availability.

Whether we like it or not, porn is spreading

According to Pornhub, women are the fastest growing demographic of porn consumers, especially younger women. Women are reported to watch porn out of curiosity, to spice up their sex lives and learn new techniques. Some women, like men, watch it to satisfy their lust. Children as well are becoming exposed to porn, and doing so at earlier ages due to its easy availability. This is a concern if they are viewing it without the context of real life sex to balance it with. Yet the vast majority of porn users remain men.

There are some positives with porn, as is it can be way to keep sexuality alive when sex is not available. It can also spice things up in the bedroom for a while… But, by targeting these desires, pornography creates a fantasy experience for the watcher that will still ultimately leave them “high and dry”.

It’s a visual performance, not a reality.

Because that is all porn can ever do is create an illusion of satisfaction.

A Lingam Massage will open your man's heart
One that will ultimately end in frustration for the user. This frustration usually results in more porn watching in an unconscious attempt to achieve the fulfilment is truly longed for. This is desensitising, ending in a loss of sexual and emotional feeling. Either numbing it down, making it difficult to get, or maintain an erection, or to ‘come’ without intense stimulation. More and more young men are resorting to use of Viagra to deal with what is essentially, a disconnection from self.

At this point, the issue IS porn

It’s vital to track back to what is behind the need for porn, the need to dissociate from the full spectrum of feelings we are capable of.  A something else that makes it so much easier to blame porn and overlook what is really happening.

Each couple are different, unique, so one size does not fit all, but the negative influence of porn can be beaten, all it takes is the right approach and mindset.  Each couple must find their own solution. It starts with understanding the solution is ultimately found outside of where they believe the problem lies.

Learning the skills in tantra is a great next step

Porn is something that we watch, it’s focussed on the visual. Where women are effortlessly wet and men are permanently hard. In tantric sex, thrusting doesn’t need to be continually hard for pleasure to be had. In fact, a man does not even need to be hard at all to experience full bodied orgasm.

Tantric sexuality
Truly satisfying sex, as in Tantric sex, comes from how it feels rather than how it looks. In fact, when it’s really good, we don’t give a damn about how it looks! Tantra is actually pretty boring as a visual medium, as the action (and the magic) is more internal…(Tantric sex would never become an Olympic sport..) Tantra teaches us that there is incredible pleasure, and satisfying connection to be found in the slower, deeper moments, as much as the active ones. Especially if you consciously deep breathe, which is not something you’ll see actors doing in mainstream porn…

 

Men and Women Touch Differently

July 21, 2022 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Have you ever recoiled from your lover’s touch because it was too much, too soon?

Or have you ever got bored waiting to be touched where you really, really want it?

This is not always your lover’s fault.

It’s about understanding each other’s bodies more accurately.

You’ve probably noticed that men’s and women’s bodies are different.

Even though they start life in utero exactly the same in baby girls’ and boys’ bodies.

Then at a few weeks old a nifty little thing called the ‘Y’ chromosome develops, causing the male genitals to shift to the outside (with occasional exceptions). This shift, along with the different hormonal framework in men and women, causes a difference in how they respond to touch.

Understanding this difference makes it much less confusing, and much more rewarding, to touch each other.

A Woman’s Body

In her body, woman’s sexuality works from the outside in, from her extremities to her genital centre, her yoni. She’s capable of a high level of energetic intensity and touching her from the outside in really pays off. It it isn’t her body will not only not awaken fully, it will turn right off.

When you touch a woman, to keep it simple, no matter where you’re touching her start from the outside and work slowly towards the centre. This helps her feel safe enough to relax and open more deeply.

Imagine that she has a bikini on and the parts covered by the bikini are touched last.

– With her body start at the top of her head and the tips of her fingers and toes, and work your way to her centre.

– If you touch her breast, start at the outside and slowly make your way to its apex, the nipple.

– If you touch her sexual centre, her Yoni, start outside with her belly, inner thighs, pubic area and her perineum- these last two are important parts of her arousal system.

– If you move to her Yoni itself, start at the outer lips, then the inner lips (whether the inner lips are smaller or larger than the outer lips), then the clitoris. The clitoris and internal arousal tissues extend underneath these lips, so including them assists in her overall arousal.

– If you touch the inside, begin at the entrance, taking your time, and then move to the GSpot then eventually the cervix area.

– Vary your touch in pressure, speed and between stroking, massaging, tapping, licking and even holding it still.

Given time and proper awakening, a woman is capable of high states of bliss, where relaxation, pleasure and love merge into one in her body, heart, mind and soul. A woman’s sexual energy is magnetic, attracting, and negative in polarity. Lovemaking transforms this negative energy into positive, which is why a woman often has an excess of energy after sex and wants to talk. When her energy is fully transformed, she feels whole in herself, and open to her lover but not needy of him. Her breathing deeply and exhaling through her mouth as she is being touched helps create this energetic shift.

Nb. There may be times when a woman doesn’t want a slow approach, it’s always best to check in with her desires first.

A Man’s Body

His sexuality works from the inside out, from his genitals to the rest of his body. When you touch a man’s body, start at his sexual centre, his Lingam.

A man’s sexuality has traditionally been thought of as straightforward like a microwave: give him two or three minutes and beep, beep, beep, he’s done. His ejaculatory orgasm is generally seen as the apex of his experience, with sex and love being completely separate. This is of course a gross misunderstanding. It’s merely the outcome of his conditioning, rather than his ultimate sexual reality. Given time, a man is capable of matching a woman’s sexual intensity, including her capacity for multiple orgasms (both with and without ejaculation). Given time he can meet her in her multi-dimensional sexuality too, that includes intimacy, emotion and spirituality.

Start at the man’s sex centre, then invite him to spread his sexual pleasure through the rest of his body, rather than remaining and being released from here. Beginning at his centre, he can relax and expand, seeing that he doesn’t need to wait until those few moments right at the end for his pleasure. (The one exception to this is beginning at his PSpot (his prostate gland) – he needs to warmup to this one!)

He can spread his pleasure by breathing deeply and exhaling out through his mouth, imagining as he does so that he is lifting his sexual energy up into his heart as he inhales, and is spreading it through the whole of his body as he exhales. Where the mind goes the energy follows.

Help him by keeping one hand on his Lingam and use the other (and the rest of your body) to stroke his pleasure outwards to his extremities. Do remember that his breasts and nipples are pathways to pleasure and heart opening just like a woman’s so don’t be afraid to give these some attention along the way.

Man’s sexual energy is electrical, positive and discharging in polarity. Lovemaking transforms his positive energy into negative, which is why it can be draining for him to discharge his energy and send him to sleep This is where Tantric-style lovemaking, where he moves his energy up and through his body first, is a more restorative pathway. It allows him to charge his body with positive energy and retain more of it when he ejaculates.

Connecting together

Though you might start in different places one way to connect both of you to your bodies at the same time is that while the man is pleasuring the woman, she can hold his Lingam, either in stillness or lightly stroking it. Using lubrication will help him to relax into her touch. Because this connects him with, and validates his sexual centre, he’ll be happy to touch and stroke her, taking all the time she desires. It’s also a great motivation for him to practise his energy spreading practices so he can enjoy for a long time.

She can just hold him, or occasionally lightly stroke him, without distracting her from her own experience. She can also benefit from feeling the rise of his sexual energy in his lingam and feel it echo in her own body’s response.

It’s a win win.

If you would like more details on how to touch each other contact Annette or Graeme here.

Healthy Masculinity: What Does it Look Like?

July 13, 2022 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

What is healthy masculinity?

Whilst pondering healthy masculinity recently I had a telling conversation with a young man.Uncertain man

He was a father with a 4 year old son, who was struggling with commitments of work, family, relationship, sport, money etc.

He was struggling with all the usual things that impact most young family men at some stage. Things which are becoming aggravated by covid, the rising cost of living, and the national housing and rental squeeze. This is particularly so in flood impacted areas locally to where we live.

Perspective matters

During this conversation, we discussed a lot of things. I knew there was an difference in age between us, not realising until later that the difference was nearly 40 years.

My perspective on these issues was very different to his, and this was because of a lot more than just age.

That conversation highlighted for me, the vast changes that men and masculinity are currently going through. Yet very little credibility is given to this necessary process of cultural change.

I was born during the fifties, into a very conservative rural background, into a very stereo typical family, or so I thought.

Man being groundedMy background could be described as patriarchal, misogynistic and very unemotional. I thought this was normal, yet something in me still felt uncomfortable and awkward around it. Hence my resistance to, and questioning of it at that time.

My father shamed me for this, calling me weak, no good and saying I wouldn’t amount to much in life.

I still occasionally feel this today, until I catch myself.

Creating a safe space gives permission

My conversation with this young man incidentally, was held sitting on the side of a road whilst he was having his smoko. I could feel his uncertainty and conflict in finding his masculine role and direction. It was a big thing for him to take a risk and open up emotionally. Especially in such a male dominated industry. I validated his willingness to do so.

It was easy for me to talk with him and share my views and experience on each of his issues. Particularly when we unpacked each of his concerns.

It felt good to ask him about some of his beliefs. To question if they were real, or from bullshit patriarchal conditioning. Asking him too, if it is bullshit, what would YOU really like to do?”

I could feel his walls drop and he opened up about what he really wanted for himself.man in mask

The bottom line for him was to simply “go home and have a heart felt conversation with his partner.”  Because if she can feel your emotional commitment and involvement, her fear will drop away. Which is exactly what happened and was a new experience for them both.

He hadn’t considered asking her what she wanted or felt. Not because he didn’t care. Because he was sucked into believing that he must have all the answers. And that he must do the hard yards on his own.

Ending the shadow aspect of patriarchy

I said this is part of the patriarchal bullshit conditioning that men suffer from. Men are also victims of patriarchal conditioning, as much as, or more so, I believe than women. This is because they are still largely caught up inside it without realising it. Men get the benefits of entitlement without realising the damage being a rigid thinking patriarchal man does to them.

There are still patriarchal pockets deeply embedded in our society, usually in male dominated workplaces. They easily trigger and negatively influence men into their own masculine insecurities and self-doubt. Largely because it is accepted and not talked about or questioned, as women have had to do.

Men and women rising together

I believe the feminist movement has achieved amazing things for women. As a man, what is missing is not a reprieve from feminism. It’s a rise of healthy masculinity to meet, and to rise with this tide of rising femininity.

I hear the phrase toxic masculinity being bandied about. I see men living in shame and disempowerment because of it. I always stop and ask “why the f..k  don’t we have toxic femininity..?” Why do we have one (so I am told) and not the other…?

Yet my interest in this particular debate has absolutely nothing to do with naming who is toxic and who is not. It’s about our lack of healthy masculinity, our lack of healthy masculine role models.

Healthy masculinity

Heart to Heart communicationMy conversation with this young man was simple (for me) and had a significant impact on him. He rang me a couple of days later and thanked me for our chat and said that he had the chat with his wife and they have developed a plan to move forward together. He is happy with that.

Healthy masculinity is that simple.

You might even call it positive patriarchy.

Direct. Focussed. Getting to the heart of things. Finding a solution that benefits all and taking action on it.

The World No Longer Belongs to Men as it Once Did

June 29, 2022 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

And that’s a good thing…

A few words from Graeme about healthy masculinity

There has been a lot of water pass under the bridge over the last 2 – 3 years for me. The same as for most with covid and its associated challenges. Along with some locally produced drama’s for us like the NSW floods.Graeme Sudholz

It has been a particularly challenging time for me, in dealing with my own deeply embedded and subconscious demons. I have been to hell, and back.

As a result of this clearing out of my cupboard, I deeply feel and believe that being male has also come under subtle and increasing pressure in recent times. This is reflected regularly and unprompted, in the conversations with men.

It is a Confusing Time to be a Male

My firm belief is that what is missing, to counter the negative labels being thrown around, is a distinct lack of healthy masculinity.

As men, we have a desperate lack of healthy role models, unless we have been lucky enough to have grown up around them. In the form of strong and loving fathers, uncles or friends.

So many sporting heroes, leaders and other so-called examples of male ideals have fallen over, or collapsed under the weight of their own shadows. Or at the very least, are having their shadowy underbellies exposed.

It is a confusing time to be male, with all the negative rhetoric being thrown around, and is easy to feel shame in being male. The media is constantly bombarding us with open ended labels like patriarchy, toxic masculinity, domestic violence and other ugly human behaviours.

I know I certainly feel this negative subtleness, as some of it is deserved, some of it misses the mark and some of it is just male bashing. Change is being called for.

Doing My Own Work

During these external challenges, I deliberately chose to step back from our work in Oztantra. I took a lower profile to enable me to focus on my own demons.

fighting the shadowLittle did I know how deeply I had buried my past in order to survive it. Even though part of me had somehow suspected it. I had unconsciously buried my past with the belief that I could do that and get away with it. My wheels fell off, I was confronted with nowhere to go, but to meet, clear out and own my cupboard.

It was confronting to see that I had no idea where or how to do it. This after quarter of a century of doing, learning and practising life skills.

I had given up.

Annette was deeply into her cupboard as well, as she has mentioned. It was full on time for both of us. With therapists and everything we could lay our hands on to not only survive, but thrive.

Coming Through

It never ceases to amaze me what is underneath relationship.

Especially the relationship we have with ourselves, that drives all others.

Annette was fully rising into more of her own power, something I found both a relief, and a challenge. vulnerability prevents body armouring causes sexual numbnessWe have had no choice but to practise the relationship skills we preach. We did so in order to come out stronger, happier and sexually connected! What we have learnt and bring into our work through Oztantra is unique, effective and f…g real!!!

As an adult, there is no doubt in my mind that, as a child, I had to do what I did to survive the pure horror, terror and trauma of my child hood. My biggest mistake was in under estimating what was living underneath. Therefore I believed I could carry on and ignore it.

As a now survivor of complex PTSD with all the associated trimmings that inevitably go with it, (depression, anxiety; relationship, intimacy and sexual challenges etc) I have achieved total remission. I had to step a long way into, and outside normal therapy to achieve this.

As part of my own cleansing I have written some of this on our website. It is not easy reading, and so is hidden 2 clicks in, behind embedded links. You’ll find it on the “About Graeme” page. Many people have told me that reading my story has given them trust in both me and the process. Although of course it may not be relevant for you as  everyone’s path is different.

Stepping Onto My Path RenewedAnnette and Graeme

What all this means, is that I am back on deck. With a clarity and sense of purpose I haven’t felt before. Though my past has cost me dearly, in all aspects of life, it has got me to where I am.

I am grateful for this and I am definitely not going to waste what I have so painfully learnt.

I now have a renewed and robust, loving relationship with Annette. As well as 3 grandkids- a very pleasant distraction and reminder that life goes on. And a renewed passion for my work, coming from a lighter, yet even more grounded place in me.

This is what I see men need to do to thrive in the future.

To look within and live from their own truth. Rather than living unconsciously from the old confines of unhealthy patriarchy, toxic masculinity and sexual shame.
Most men’s inner journey will not be as deep as mine, but it’s the place where their answers to both present and future lie.

Counselling/Coaching For Men

Counselling/Coaching for men will be a big part of my focus. It will develop into more refined aspects moving forward, particularly for men in relationship.

My focus with men includes their:

  • relationships
  • identity
  • sexuality (erection challenges, porn addiction)
  • dealing with trauma
  • depression
  • parenting challenges
  • workplace and business related issues.

Do you as a man, want some support?
Support to come through these changing times strong, alive, clear and motivated?

We can’t do it alone.

Call me on 0457 966696 or

Contact me for a free 15min chat to explore what I can offer you.

 

Relationship Breakdown, our National Tragedy

February 28, 2020 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Not Dealing With Relationship Breakdown

is

Our Hidden National Tragedy

Written For

https://intimaterelationships.com.au

Australians are reeling from the recent horrible & tragic consequences of a relationship breakdown in Brisbane, where a husband and father brutally murdered his wife and three small children, before stabbing himself to death.

There can never be an excuse for this kind of act.

Police had been involved

Prior to this horrific incident, police had been involved in this couples’ relationship breakdown, and had advised both of them to seek support regarding domestic violence and an ongoing dispute over child access.

Soon after this violent incident in Brisbane, an obviously distraught police investigator, who was involved at the scene of the crime, stated in a media interview:

 “Is this an issue of a woman suffering significant domestic violence and her and her children perishing at the hands of the husband, or is it an instance of a husband being driven too far by issues he’s suffered by certain circumstances into committing acts of this form?”

He has since been stood down for these remarks.

Listen to His Words..

What is happening to the system

What has happened to a system designed to support both the people (and  children) involved in a relationship breakdown in a fair, humane and equitable manner, or has the system itself become part of the problem?

My own personal experience of this system

My own personal experience of dealing with this system as a man back in 2000 pushed me to the edge, where I was out in the paddock with a gun, ready to end it all.

I believe this recent incident has brought further to the surface, the ugly side of how the complex issues of relationship breakdown are poorly understood and handled.

Information available has limitations

In writing this article, I have spent many hours searching, reading and deciphering statistics, statistics and more statistics.

One thing from that search became very clear: relationship breakdown and domestic violence are not gender issues, but people issues.

Finding an accurate picture is still very difficult, when (according to the ABS2017, Australian Bureau of Statistics) 87% of women don’t report domestic violence to the police and neither do 97% of men.

The reliable statistics we do have come from hospitalisation, coroner and police reports. The ABS2017 itself comments that their available data is limited, and are broadening their survey questions in an attempt to capture more of this picture.

Male suicide is barely the tip of the iceberg

Beyondblue survey has found  Ambulance data indicates 30,197 attendances for men who attempted or had suicidal thoughts between 2015 – 16, yet hospital figures identified only @10,000.

“This study tells us that what we know about male suicide is just the tip of the iceberg”   Beyond Blue Chair, Julia Gillard.

According to ABS2017, relationship breakdown is the common denominator for both men and women in exposure to violence, with 39% of women and 35% of men experiencing partner violence after separation.

An unpalatable truth

Surely these statistics show a perhaps unpalatable truth in the current social and political climate: that BOTH gendered partners are equally capable of unspeakable acts of violence and cruelty, in the common and highly volatile fuelled up and emotionally charged state of relationship breakdown.

See this next Link about the 2017 tragedy in Cairns, were Raina Thaiday murdered eight children in her care, aged from 27 months to 14 years, 4 boys and 4 girls. Seven of these children were her own, and a niece.

Police are forced to act

In my work as a Relationship Counsellor, I have regularly spoken to members of the police force involved in the hands on aspect of relationship breakdown.

They say that often they’re taking the wrong person ie. the man, away in handcuffs, where it is obvious that both people have been involved in creating the situation.

Making domestic violence a purely gender issue, and heaping all the blame and responsibility onto men, is I believe, making a bad situation worse.

We have a people problem, rather than a gender problem.

With partner violence, a woman is murdered every 6 days and a male every 10 days, yet when all other family members are included, such as children and siblings, victim numbers become relatively even.

My own experience of relationship breakdown

As a partner and parent, I went through my own relationship breakdown in 2000.

I still struggle to put into words the lasting effects of the systematic cruelty I experienced simply because I was a male. I lost my kids, I went from being full time with them to being ‘granted’ 4 days a month.

I was devastated, I spoke up and was simply told “this is the best things for the kids.”

How could I argue with that?

I still have those lawyer letters…

Under this system, my feelings were used against me

My emotionality, the fact I had feelings was used against me,  I was devastated, deeply hurting and just plain lost didn’t matter.

My wife and her lawyer deemed I was unfit to have any increase in  custody and even threatened an intervention order if I breached any of the ‘list of rules’, such as driving onto the property to pick my kids up.

I was forced to park out on the road, hundreds of meters away.

My solicitor was blunt when she cautioned me my actions or reactions were teaching and influencing my kids in how man treats women.

I had nowhere to go

My hands were tied with nowhere to go, but to suck it up.
Something died in me during this time.

My sense of loss and helplessness was, and still is painful even 20 years later.

Prior to our separation, as our long-term marriage faltered, we sought help.

During our couples counselling, I had my first gob smacking exposure to this undercurrent of bigoted ignorance towards men.

Why wasn’t I asked the same question ?

Our young woman counsellor asked my wife if she had ever been hit, or had experienced any form physical abuse or violence from me, to which she said no.

The counsellor moved on and I interrupted her and asked why didn’t she ask me that same question?

She just looked at me, as if I had suddenly contracted a contagious disease, then continued to move on.

I interrupted her and said that I had been hit on several occasions by my wife and what did she have to say about that?

Without a pause, she continued on with her diatribe and I lost much interest in couples counselling, even though we did try several others with even less success.

Some therapists make better truck drivers

Looking back, I see it now as total incompetence in relationship counselling, and I believe some therapists would make better truck drivers.

I see too that poor therapy is very damaging and that having no therapy is safer than bad therapy.

This is an article from ABC on poor therapy

Decades later, this whole event still saddens me.

My 3 children were also hurting and confused at that time. They felt then, and still feel, that I had abandoned them.

I didn’t want to end up in police custody

At their age, I couldn’t tell them what was really happening.

I wouldn’t say that I couldn’t see them simply because I was told by their mother and her lawyer that this is the way it is done.

And I didn’t say that any attempt by me to see more of them would most likely land me in police custody.

The local school could see what was happening, and suggested I come and sit with my children at school, especially my youngest.

My emotion was intense, my youngest just sat on my knee, clung to me and we both cried and cried. I only did this a couple of times, as it was too disruptive for everyone, including her class and teacher.

For me, losing access to my children, created in me a sense of powerlessness, overwhelm and pain that was and still is indescribable.

I am still shocked, decades later how cruel the system still is

I still shocked today, decades later, how heartless and inadequate our system was, and still is for vulnerable men who are hurting.

At no point during the first 18 months of separation was I given any credit or acknowledgement that I loved my kids or that I had a right to see them.

I was the token male whose sole function was purely for financial support and how dare I have feelings for my kids…

My access was measured and limited by financial reasons.

If I was allowed more than a certain number of days per year, the amount I paid would be reduced, which was determined by their mother and her lawyer.

My experience with the Family Law system was beyond belief, every step in this process took months and cost 000’s, with a greedy, heartless and extremely predatory legal system supporting it.

Meeting the Child Support Agency

After separation my ex’s legal genius advised her to remove all joint money and freeze all our bank accounts, in spite that I had agreed and supported her managing business accounts and finances.

On top of lost access, my cash and business accounts had gone or were frozen, despite having a business to run, to live plus child support to pay.

Now I just had to do it with no funds, business or other financial means.

I contacted the Child Support Agency explaining my situation.

They were very clear and stated that my next payment was due next week and they expected it to be made, otherwise there would be penalties.

There was no offer of support or guidance, just a simple threat “pay up or else, and it’s not our problem…”

That really pissed me off.

During the first 3-4 months of hell and indescribable agony of separation, I was slowly and steadily sliding into a deep dark hole.

I was in a bad way

I was unaware of my decline, I was in a bad way.

I remember a conversation at this time with my parents, about what was happening

They refused to believe it and declined to help me, stating that my ex “would never do a thing like that”.

I felt betrayed, I walked out and never had a conversation about that or much else with them again.

A few days later, I was out in the paddock with a gun, ready to end it all.

I held my breath and was about to pull the trigger, when the family dog jumped into the front of my ute with me and broke that spell.

I ended up out on the ground, vomiting, and I think I must have blacked out, as when I came out of it the dog was lying beside me with its head resting on my chest.

I broke into tears at the sheer helplessness of my situation.

From that point, I started to climb out my black hole.

I rang Lifeline later that day and a friend was on duty and I spilled my story.

As a current and active Lifeline counsellor, I knew Lifeline was absolutely brilliant, it is free, confidential & 24/7 for any phone call.

Plus, they have one of the most comprehensive computerised data bases of all local services available for people in crisis, like me.

My friends at Lifeline knew something was happening in my life, and after that call, my support really kicked in.

From that moment in time, I threw myself into every kind of self-learning and personal development I could lay my hands on so I could do better than just survive.

Some of this learning happened on weekends.

My ex refused to swap these weekends with me so I missed out on several with my kids during this healing phase, her routine was more important than kids seeing their father.

This meant sometimes four, and at one point six weeks between visits, even though they lived locally.

I will never get that time back.

If I was successful in my ‘attempt’ to end it all, nobody would have known my agony or my reasons, and most likely my actions would have been put down to a ‘mental illness’.

Even today, only a handful of people know my story and how I felt during that time.

Man up

It’s as if “men don’t have feelings, so man up and get over it…”.

Even life long friends bailed out of my life during that time.

From my own personal experience with this systematic form of ignorance, cruelty and torture, I understand (but do not excuse) how men take their own lives or, God forbid, act out something much worse.

According to the Australia Brotherhood of Fathers , 21 men in Australia commit suicide each week as a result of relationship breakdown and our Family Law System.

Out of a total of  @ 2,700 Australian (ABS2017) men who suicide each year, that’s over 1000 lives annually, lost to systematic ignorance and cruelty.

Continuing a one sided approach in managing our national tragedy of relationship breakdown and domestic violence is clearly not working.

We have a people problem, not a gender problem..

 

 

 

 

Getting to know the stranger

January 25, 2017 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Listening with curiosity rather than judgement…

It’s human nature to get into habits…

And these habits are also a way of avoiding  living constantly in the unfamiliar, which can be highly stressful for some…

In relationship, habits can work both for and against us.

Creating habits does work for us in the building of unique little rituals only we share, creating feelings of connection.

Some habits can also work against us, in creating and allowing  unhealthy relationship patterns, such as taking our partners for granted.

Habits like taking our partners for granted can be a fast track to relationship boredom and dissatisfaction.

Here is how it can happen, and that it is also possible to learn embodied listening with curiosity as a way out of  boredom and  into fascination.

In new relationship there seems to be so much to talk about.

In the bubble of new love you’re completely fascinated by each other, literally hanging on each other’s words.

You’re fully engaged in the moment with them, hours seem to disappear, making time seem meaningless.

If you think back on it, you were probably not only hearing their words you also noticed their facial expressions, the nuances of their body language, subliminal messaging and even their tone of voice.

Your own body was involved in the conversation as well, feeling tinglings of excitement, an openness and an aliveness that felt totally engaging.

But after a while it begins to seem as if you’ve heard it all before.

You assume there’s nothing new coming and your interest level wanes.

It becomes easier to check out the TV, Facebook or your emails rather than give your partner your full disconnected coupleattention.

You believe you know what this once fascinating person is going to say before they even open their mouths and quickly start to tune out and think of other things.

It’s the same thing with your own sharings, you think they’ve heard you all before, that they’ll be assuming they know it all and that you will have little new to say.

Sharing becomes a bore and you wonder where has the spark gone?

But the spark hasn’t really disappeared, it’s just that where you’re coming from in your listening isn’t creating or allowing the spark to ignite.

You’re listening to your significant other from your intellectual self, where your judgements and assumptions come easily.

Are you judging your partner based on the past rather than experiencing them fully in the now, as you used to do ?

Are you assuming you know what the other’s talking,  rather than actually listening to what they are trying to communicate?

This becomes an assumption that you know everything about who the other person is, and listening to answer, rather than listening to actually hear and feel into what they trying to communicate.

You might actually know who they’ve been, but you don’t know who they’re being right now if you’re not truly listening, and miss out on seeing their growth and change.

And you’ll miss who they’re becoming as it hasn’t happened yet.

Don’t you want to be there to find out?

The information they’re sharing may be the same as they (or you) have shared before.

But this person has lived more of their life since the last time they shared and their life experience makes the different.

They may be in a different space emotionally or energetically.

Don’t just listen to the story and assume you know all about it, and therefore all about them (which is not only Creating Safety in Intimacylimiting it is also shaming).

Do yourself a favour and see your spouse in this moment as a whole new being you’ve never met before.

Do all those things you used to do without thinking, put all of your attention onto who they are being right now, observe rather than judge, listen with your body, listen with your heart rather than your head, feel into them as well as hear them.

Ask open questions, inviting more of them to emerge..

Ask opening questions that invite deeper sharing such as ‘how was that for you?’ or ‘can you tell me more about that?’

This spark of curiosity in you allows previously unforseen questions to arise in you so you can ask them.

All this extra information will be totally new and interesting as it has never happened before in exactly this way.

The same is true for you, you’re different from the person you were when you last heard this information. What is it that you are noticing in yourself?

Relationships are either growing or dying

One of the things that stops us from fully seeing or listening with our whole self is that we may feel uncomfortable or have fear over what we may find.

We may hear our partner’s pain, feel their walls or maybe their lack of presence with us.

We’re tempted to make this about us but the skill is in seeing that where they’re at is about them.

How we perceive them is about us.

If you can separate yourself from them and hear, see and feel them as a multi layered, unique being at this particular moment in their own world, having their own experience from a place of curiosity you will find a fascination that never leaves.

Offering our presence in this way can allow our significant other to share more openly as well.

There’s nothing like an engaged, available listener to inspire a person to new heights.

After all, isn’t that what used to happen?

Your partner will feel seen, heard and even loved, unconsciously inviting the same from them.

Yet this is about being curious for ourselves, to create our own satisfying relationship experiences rather than expecting anything in return, for expectations deny possibilities.

Practice: Experience your next conversation with your partner as above rather than just listening with your intellect and see what happens!

Next Page »

CONTACT US:

Graeme 0457 966 696
Annette 0437 966 696

or Email us here

Sign Up for Our Fortnightly Newsletter

newsletter-sign-up

Read Our Previous Newsletter Articles

Sovereign Goddess Newsletter

Sovereign Goddess Logo

Click Here to Love and Empower Your Feminine Self

Online Counselling

couple viewing computer screen

Receive on point support for your relationship from the comfort of your own home!

Couples Getaways

Inquire about our Ultimate Couples Getaways That YOU design to suit your own desires.

Intimate, happy couples

Couples Retreats

Join us for our
happy couple in IntimacyEcstasy & Intimacy Retreats

Oztantra Links

Blog  |  Media  |  Workshops  |  Books/DVDs

Lost That Loving Feeling?

Re-Ignite Your Spark Online Relationship Course

Coming Together

CLICK HERE for our book on all things
relationship, intimacy & sex
to last a lifetime.
ORDER NOW!

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Have a question?

PH 1800 TANTRA (1800 826 872)

 

Recent Posts

  • Sex Is Not the Ultimate of Pleasure… May 3, 2023
  • How to Melt Your Partner’s Heart in 4 Steps April 19, 2023
  • Are You Letting Unexamined Myths Run your Sex Life? March 29, 2023
  • Managing Stress In Your Relationship March 16, 2023

logo.png

Facebook Twitter Youtube

  • Oztantra Webinar’s – Relationship and Sexuality
  • Q and A – Frequently asked Questions Answered
  • Links
  • The Art of Relationship Creating- Meaningful Intimate Relationships
  • Emotional Intelligence, What is it?
  • Depression…making light of it
  • Breathwork Sessions
  • Lasting Longer for Men
  • Female Sexuality for Women
  • Beat Your Porn Addiction With Tantra
  • Tantric Meditations
  • What Is Tantra?
  • What is Tantric Sex REALLY Like? – Oz Tantra
  • Multi Orgasmic Man
  • Separating Ejaculation and Orgasm
  • Tantra Massage
  • How to Become a Tantric Lover
  • Cobra Breath – The Cosmic Cobra Breath
  • The Art of Self Pleasure
  • Man To Man Talk With Graeme
  • Woman to Woman Talk with Annette
  • Gspot – Oztantra
  • The Power of Reverse Polarity

Copyright © 2023 ·Beautiful Pro Theme · Genesis Framework by StudioPress · WordPress · Log in