From frustration to fulfillment…
Meet someone like Paul and Christine…
Paul was fed up with his sex life. “It seemed I was always wanting sex with Christine in control and not wanting to dish it out. In my early 50’s I was successful at everything else in my life so how could I be so undesirable? I’d tried everything I could think of to no avail. I came to Oztantra frustrated and wanting help to have Christine desire more sex”.
Christine, in her late 40’s came along because she wanted Paul to be happy. “I wanted him to ease off in his pursuit of sex with me. Because the more he pursued the more confused, angry and undesiring I became. It wasn’t that I didn’t like sex, I did. But I suspected there was something missing in the dynamic that was playing out between us”.
She was right. They both were.
Paul discovered that underneath his desire for sex was a deep need for connection and approval. “I put women on a pedestal that enlivened the chase but made me feel worse about myself. As I understood what had been driving me I found a deeper connection with myself. I swapped desiring quantity sex for quality- in fact Christine started wanting it more than me! I’ve grown to like, trust and value myself away from the office, I enjoy spending time alone and am more confident in opening my heart and deepening the intimacy, pleasure and love in my life”.
Christine felt like she got some breathing space as Paul’s behaviour changed. “This enabled me to see that I had given my power away to his needs and was being covert in how I expressed myself in the relationship. This meant letting going of the unconscious power I found in manipulating and blaming others. Slowly I learned to find my safety, power and sense of self from within. Ironically this made my desire for lovemaking rise as this was the place I felt it the most. And in feeling my inner power I have been able to trust myself enough to let Paul deeply into my heart like never before”.
To protect client confidentiality ‘Paul and Christine’ are a composite of real Oztantra client stories.
