What Does a Sexually Empowered Woman Look Like?
This question came up after reflecting on my sexual journey over the years and writing it has stunned me to see all the benefits I have found in embracing this part of myself. I am not all of these all the time but I have definitely experienced many such moments of each.
Do any of them resonate with you?
A sexually empowered woman is: (in no particular order)
She is comfortable in her skin, in her body and at ease with who she is in the world.
Her self esteem is not related to men’s (or anyone’s) opinion of her.
She makes her own choices and does not need to conform to the roles required of her by others.
She has deep friendships with women and relates to them as sisters rather than competitors.
She is without the need to compete with other women for attention from men.
She can enjoy feelings of sexual arousal that may arise within her through contact with another knowing that she can fully embrace these feelings of warm, melting, tingling aliveness without needing to act on them , unless it is right for her to do so.
She doesn’t perform in sex , instead experiences it fully as an expression of herself, whoever she is in that moment- maiden, lover, wild woman, slut, healer, Goddess and many more.
She has her own inner moral code that she can trust without needing to rely on external rules of behaviour.
She buys clothes and lingerie to enjoy for herself rather than to impress or manipulate others.
She doesn’t have to dress sexy (although she can!) because she IS sex and she knows it.
She has an open heart that sees sex as an expression of love rather than being separate from it.
She is connected with her own body and is able to touch herself sensually, sexually and with love.
She releases shame from her body by owning it as an instrument of love and pleasure.
She doesn’t limit herself to genital pleasure but experiences it in every part of her body.
She nurtures it by eating well, exercising regularly and attending to its needs.
She has a relationship with the wisdom of her Yoni (vulva/vagina/womb) and takes the time to listen to Her messages.
She sees sexuality as a power within herself rather than a power over others to manipulate or dominate them with.
She knows the feeling of freedom that comes from within.
She experiences an expansion in herself as well as pleasure in her sex.
She is creative, playful, spontaneous and intuitive.
She will leave you feeling sated, energized, nurtured, inspired and loved.
She knows that love will arise in all moments of full presence in intimacy with another and accepts the magic of this without needing to attach any further meaning to it.
She chooses to breathe consciously when making love, to ground, connect and expand her awareness and pleasure.
She heart openly embraces her inner slut, not allowing the shame of her conditioning to stop her.
She is not afraid to talk about sex.
She knows there is a time for sex and time without it.
She is willing to feel everything– pleasure, emotion, bliss, pain and love for they are all pathways to herself.
She is not afraid to feel the pain of rejection.
She lets go the stories from her conditioning around sex knowing they come from shame and fear.
She is clear and respectful in her desires and boundaries. If she is not clear she will be willing talk to you about it.
She does not attract men who are abusive, controlling, manipulative, shaming, disempowered or otherwise unconscious as they are afraid to approach her clear, grounded power.
She is not afraid of having a good time, of creating a good time for all, not just for herself simply by being who she is.
She has a good understanding of her body from hours of practice in self pleasuring and is able to ask clearly for what she wants.
She doesn’t expect her lover to everything for her.
She is able to open herself in lovemaking and actively receive her lovers touch, increasing the pleasure for both.
She is able to greatly enjoy giving her lover pleasure without giving herself away.
She knows to nurture herself with her sexual energy by moving it up through her body where it nurtures and awakens her.
She is not afraid of intensity in her feelings.
She seeks to enjoy her yearnings and longings for another rather than suffer in them.
If she desires sex she becomes it, so there is no further need to desire.
She knows the power of sex to heal, nurture and awaken.
She sees sexuality as a part of spirituality, her very aliveness, part of the world’s big mystery.
She can equally participate in a really earthy fuck, a loving and gentle caress or moments of divine union. In fact she likes a little of each!
She comes to her partner as a loving equal wanting to share and create together.
She will demand a safe, respectful space to make love in and if she doesn’t feel safe she is willing to help create safety or leave where this is not possible.
She will not seek to own her lover and if she feels jealous she will see it is because she has stepped away from her connection with herself and will come back to herself again.
She will want you to go deep with her, as deep as she can go with herself.
She will want you to fuck her from an open heart, as that is what she will be doing with you.
She will be a Goddess not a Princess.
She IS radiant beauty and power.
She can have one lover or many but she will make it a choice.
She will crack your heart open with her capacity for vulnerability and surrender- to her own heart and to you.
If you crack she will hold you with the utmost presence and tenderness making it a moment of safety, love and joy.
She will be fully in relationship with herself, her sexuality and with love.
She will give to you, teach and change you just through being who she is, through bringing light to your own darkness.
If you would like to add more layers to your own sexual journey contact Annette on 1800 TANTRA or email here
Or join her for this event in Brisbane on Sept 5th
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