A Poem on Love and Trust

A Poem by Julie Crow from NSW, who at 73yo is on her own unique journey into love and trust and is a real inspiration!

Waving goodbye to self deception

Can I trust that you will love me

Even though l am all screwed up and a little bit mad ?

And will you hold me tight when I feel sad ?

And love me! Just love me?

 

Can I trust that you will love me

Even when I am demanding and befuddled?

And will you Caress my cheeks and offer a cuddle?

And love me! Just love me?

 

Can I trust that you will love me

Even when I complain of the advancing years?

And will you see beyond my vanity and fears?

And love me! Just love me?

 

Can I trust that you will love me

When I complain and bemoan ‘Life’s not fair?

And will you kiss my eyes and stroke my hair?

And love me! Just love me?

 

Can I trust that you will love me

When I will push you away and tell you ‘No’?

And will you comfort me and quietly say, ‘But I don’t want to go’?

And love me! Just love me?

 

Can I trust you will still love me

Even when I am self absorbed and lack grace ?

And will you gently bestow butterfly kisses on my face?

And love me! Just love me?

 

Can I trust you will still love me

When I am angry and rage like a winter storm ?

And will you simply say “I bless the day you were born’?

And love me! just love me?

 

Can I trust you will still love me

When I am jealous and fragile ?

And will you smile with your eyes and flash me your smile?

And love me! Just love me?

 

Can I trust you to still love me

When I make mistakes that go horribly wrong ?

And will you tell me ‘It’s OK and with you I belong’?

And love me! Just love me?

 

Can I trust you to still love me

When I cry and weep ?

And will you hold me in your arms sing me to sleep?

And love me! Just love me!

 

Can I trust you to still love me

When I am bewildered and disturbed ?

And will you very gently say ‘That’s absurd’?

And love me! Just love me?

 

Can I trust you to still love me

In spite of my insecurities and fears?

And will you gently kiss away my tears?

And love me! Just love me?

 

Do you love all of me …the good and the not so good?

And will you hold the lamp light high

So that I can soar forever upwards in the sky?

Will that convince me to trust that you love me?

 

But wait !!I am not a puppet on a string !

Relying on another to control my emotions on a whim

Surely this way of living is a futile exercise in self deceiving?

But if I love and embrace my own unique inner being

And love myself unconditionally with no fear of another s rejection

Then I can trust myself to wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even though l am all screwed up and a little bit mad

Because when I love both the good and the bad

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even when I am demanding and befuddled?

Because when I love both the smooth and the troubled

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even when I complain of the advancing years

Because when I love and accept my vanity and my fears

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even when I complain and bemoan ‘Life’s not fair?

Because when I love and accept that my shadow side is also there

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even when I push people away, and stand alone

Because when I love my stubborn streak, and acknowledge it as a feeling I own

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception
Even when I am self absorbed and lack grace

Because when I love the fact that it does not define me I know it’s no disgrace

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even when I am angry and rage like a winter storm

Because when I love and express my feelings I rarely feel forlorn

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even when I am jealous and fragile ?

Because when I love my vulnerability and greet it with a smile

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even when I make mistakes or things go horribly wrong

Because when I lovingly acknowledge my imperfections I am forgiving and strong

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even when I cry and weep

Because when I love the notion that just like a river I am mysterious and deep

I can trust myself and wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even when I am bewildered and disturbed

Because when I love and accept this feeling then choose serenity as the option preferred

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception

 

Even when I feel insecure and cave into my fears

Because when I love and embrace my fears I welcome the calm after the tears

I can trust myself, and wave goodbye to self deception

 

AMAAZING !!!!Now I love all of me the good and the not so good

Because I no longer have a mental list of ‘shoulds’

But rather shine my own lamp light high

So that I can soar forever upwards in the sky

No need any more to strive for approval or perfection

Because I now trust myself, and I have waved goodbye to self deception