Most men ask this question and how I choose to answer is from my perspective as a man and a Tantra practitioner.
Firstly, my belief is tantra was created for men to meet, match and soar with the awesome feminine sexual intensity. Unfortunately, very few men (and women) experience tantra in its full power, yet it is so worth the journey.
Tantra for men is an awesome experience that is not just in the bedroom, it is not just about sex but about nearly every aspect of life. Tantra is about experiencing what IS, to its fullest extent, whether it is making love or walking along a beach, kicking a goal or clinching that important contract. It is about being fully alive from top to bottom and feeling in as many moments of life as possible.
This may sound easy, simple and straight forward, but the reality for most of us is that it is a lot more challenging.
Yet imagine how you would be living your life where feeling your open heart and being grounded in the power of your balls is the norm and not a occasional experience?
Imagine making love with your partner from a place in you where your heart is so open and
vulnerable that she just surrenders like she never has before? Where you are capable of endless pleasure?
How would that feel living and loving from this place?
If you want a second opinion on this, try asking your partner how she would feel about you if this was your normal?
The most important aspect of yourself as a man that you can bring into your relationship, is your open heart that is connected to your balls. In a committed relationship, man brings his open heart and woman brings her sexuality. (If you doubt this, ask what happens if she says “no” ……). For a man to be truly connected with his heart, he also needs to feel his masculine self, or his warrior self aka his balls. So doing Tantra does not mean losing your masculinity and trying to become something else, something foreign, it is becoming more fully who you already are.
The conscious warrior aspect of man is pure heart, and man needs to feel his warrior strongly, yes, even in this day and age, probably more than ever. For in relationship the warrior holds a man safe as he connects his heart and sexuality, it allows him to feel safe to fully feel. Bringing himself out of shame and shadow into the light of heart connected sex. This is a truly magical experience for a man to feel and, I believe, is connecting him to his true spiritual self.
This is Tantra and what it means to me.
So if you are a man and your lover is nagging you about looking into Tantra acknowledge your fears, of having to give up what you’ve had, fears of having to become “soft”, or feeling shame about not being good enough. See it instead as a boys own adventure into something new and exciting where fortune favours the brave, blazing a trail you can make your own and where you as the hero gets the gold!