Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that sex after 50 needs to be a distant memory!
Many studies have shown that humans are interested in sex well into their 80’s, it’s just in our youth obsessed culture we ignore this intriguing possibility…
Sex changes as we get older, and that’s all because if we change with it, sex will become even better as we get older…
At 57 years of age, whenever I’ve had sex and I look in the mirror I think “Wow, you’re looking great!” My eyes are huge and luminous, my skin radiant, my body relaxed and sensually alive. I not only look good, I feel pretty good too.
Even though I have to admit my libido is not what it used to be. It very much comes and goes.
But what IS always there is what I call the ‘grown up’ factor. This is the part of me that recognizes even if I don’t ‘feel horny’ at the thought of sex, I always have the choice to make it happen.
Getting Into The Driver’s Seat
This is the difference between having sexual desire driving me, and me driving my sexual desire. This is the difference between hormonal driven ‘youthful sex’ and the choice driven sex that can happen once the hormonal flush is over.
Part of me, and of most people I speak to, still longs for the effortless ‘horniness’ that allows sex to ‘just happen’. I liken it to the part of me that sometimes longs for someone bigger than me to take charge, someone that will cook dinner when I come home late or will come up with a sensational new idea I’m after. It’s that part of me not willing to take full responsibility.
Once I recognize what is going on I can drop it. For of course, I can take charge in my own life and want to do so.
Saying YES to Sex!
This is what happens with our sex lives. As we move out of hormonal driven desires we need to take responsibility for what we can create in our sex lives. WE need to say YES to sex before it will say YES to us.
When we do say YES, our sex drive will show up even better than before. To want the many benefits sex can bring. (see benefits of sex article)
When we say to our partners “I would really like to make love with you tonight” and remember delicious times from the past and have an open mind about what can be created right now great things can happen.
Rather than sex being a rush to orgasmic relief, each moment can be a choice to feel, to breathe, to be fully in our bodies, fully in the moment, to be present to the opportunities arising.
To start by just holding each other and relaxing.
To drop any agendas about what sex ‘should’ look like and go with what is.
To be willing to take your time.
Breathe and pc squeeze.
To love wanting the feel of aliveness and connection inside us that great lovemaking can bring.
To be right here now.
To be willing to trust that desire will arise given an atmosphere of trust and understanding.
Confident enough to be intimate, vulnerable and open.
With more of ourselves to reveal than ever before.
Less drive, more skill and so much more to discover!
If you would like some support to upgrade your lovemaking skills to make the most of getting older sex contact us about an Ultimate Couples Getaway, a chance for you to chill out in a beautiful beach or rainforest location whilst your very own bedroom specialists come right to your very door and respectfully (clothes on) lead the way!
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