Sacred meaning: connected with God or a higher purpose, deserving of respect.
We mostly start off in intimate relationship believing that what we have discovered is something so unique and special. How do we keep this wonder alive over the years? By understanding the potential of believing that intimate relationship is a sacred act. For the one that we choose to be in intimate relationship is not because we must through birth or other obligation, they are the ones we actively choose to make a major part of our lives. So it makes sense that we honour both the person and that choice consciously and respectfully.
7 signs that you are doing so are:
1. You see there are 3 different aspects to your relationship- there is you, your partner and the relationship itself. All of these three have their own separate structures and individual needs, the highest of which is seen to be the relationship. When there is conflict it is the needs of the relationship that become paramount. This is not to say that the relationship should be used to limit the individual from a place of fear or control, rather the reverse. It can be a barometer because what is truly valuable for the individual can be measured by its impact on the relationship.
2. You are seeking relationship with the person they actually are being right now, rather than the one you first met, the one you assume they are from your past experiences of them or the one you think they should be to meet your needs. It is very easy to see the other through the mask of our perceptions, especially when in the busyness of everyday life we get
lazy about looking. We are constantly changing complex beings and to assume we know where a person is coming from is at best impractical, at worst shaming.
3. You see constantly assessing how you are being and where you are coming from in your words and actions, and how they are being received and adjusting them as you see fit as an act of love rather than a neurosis. You use the wisdom of your observing mind, body and feelings as well as the power of your intellect to do so.
4. You’re able to tolerate the uncertainty of the other being different to you, having different interests, desires, needs and beliefs. Although it is crucial to have shared common values in intimate relationship- values that will proved the glue when all else is being challenged, your differences are seen to add flavour rather than cause fracture.
5. You value your relationship more than protecting your Ego. You’re willing to allow yourself to be seen in your truth, vulnerability and imperfections. To let down your own mask and honour the other by being real, which is what creates true intimacy. And you’re willing to own who you are, the choices you make and take responsibility for your actions. Especially when these have a negative impact on the relationship, as you value the relationship more than being right.
6. You respect your sexuality as a powerful pathway of creating love, connection, nurturing and pleasure rather than using it as a tool for physical or emotional release. You take the time to sort issues out separately from lovemaking, instead coming to make love from a place of open hearted connection with yourself that you then share with the other. This creates a sacredness, ease and connection that flows into the rest of your relationship and reinforces the desire to seek love rather than self.
7. You see the relationship as a place to grow yourself. You cultivate courage and taking risks. Risks in trusting yourself, the other, the relationship and love itself by trusting your heart. For our hearts are not flimsy things that need protection they are stronger and have more to offer than we can ever have thought possible. So you do not try to limit the other but see where their needs or desires challenge your own limitations. In our experience our intimate partners primal needs challenge us to grow in the areas where we are most resistant to go into, just as our challenge theirs. That is where the deepest growth comes.