Relationship Counselling

OZ tantra

  • About
    • About Oz Tantra – Tantric Relationship Advice
    • Annette and Graeme are Relationship counsellors
      • About Graeme Sudholz
      • About Annette Baulch
  • Relationship Counseling
    • Relationship Counselling
      • Relationship Communication
      • Making a Good Thing Better
        • More Intimate Sex
      • Recreating The Spark
      • The Kids Have Left Home
      • We Can’t Stop Fighting
      • I Don’t Love You Any More
      • The Power of Reverse Polarity in Relationship
      • Relationship Juice
      • Relationship Apathy
      • Breathwork Sessions Relationship Counselling
      • Rural Relationship Advice with Skype
    • Healing trauma in Banks Creek
    • Couples Ultimate Getaways Byron Bay
    • Skype Counselling
    • Couples Retreat Australia Ecstasy & Intimacy
    • Tantra Prevents Boredom in the Bedroom…
      • Our sex life is boring
      • More Intimate Sex
      • mmm…Sexploration
      • I want to have an orgasm
      • How can I Last Longer in Sex
      • I Can’t Get It Up Anymore
    • Sex Counselling
      • Healing Sexual Abuse
      • Mismatched Libidos
      • Ecstasy Unveiled in You
      • Sexual Healing
        • Yoni Healing for Women
        • Lingam Healing – Oz Tantra
        • Sexual Surrogacy
    • Oz Tantra On Line Relationship Course
    • Emotional Intelligence, What is it?
      • Learning Vital Feeling Skills
      • Anger
      • Depression…making light of it
      • Domestic Violence
    • Man Talk
    • Oz Tantra newsletters
    • Oztantra V.I.P
    • Oz Tantra newsletters
  • Tantra
    • What is Tantric Sex REALLY Like?
      • Tantric Coaching online
      • Couples Tantra Sessions
      • Individual Tantra Sessions for Women
      • Individual Tantric Sessions for Men
    • What Is Tantra?
    • Tantra Prevents Boredom in the Bedroom…
      • Our sex life is boring
      • mmm…Sexploration
      • I want to have an orgasm
      • I Can’t Get It Up Anymore
      • How can I Last Longer in Sex
    • Multi Orgasmic Man
      • Tantric Lover – Oz Tantra podcasts
    • Preventing Premature Ejaculation
      • Multi Orgasmic Man
      • Tantric Sex for Men – Podcasts
      • Separating Ejaculation and Orgasm
    • Gspot
      • Power of Yoni – Explore the essence of who you are as a woman
    • Couples Ultimate Getaways Byron Bay
    • Individual Tantra Sessions For Couples and Singles
    • Sexual Healing
      • Yoni Healing for Women
      • Lingam Healing
      • Beating Pornography Addiction
      • Healthy Orgasm, Orgasm as Healing
      • Sexual Surrogacy
    • Oztantra V.I.P
    • The Art of Self Pleasure
    • Tantric Honouring
    • Tantric Lover – Oz Tantra
    • Cobra Breath – The Cosmic Cobra Breath
  • Events
    • Couples Ultimate Getaways Byron Bay
    • Workshop Schedule
    • Retreats
      • Ecstasy and Intimacy Couples Retreat Bali
      • Couples Retreat Australia Ecstasy & Intimacy
      • Transformation and Initiation
      • Passion and Grace Week Long Retreat
    • Weekend Workshops
      • Couples Ultimate Getaways Byron Bay
      • Power of Yoni – Explore the essence of who you are as a woman
      • Sexuality of the Heart
    • Couples Tantra Sessions
    • Oz Tantra newsletters
    • Oz Tantra On Line Relationship Course
    • Oztantra V.I.P
    • Tantric Lover – Oz Tantra
    • Date Night
    • Oztantra Webinar’s – Relationship and Sexuality
  • Blogs
    • Blogs
    • Videos
    • Tantric Lover Podcasts
    • Oz Tantra newsletters
  • Contact
    • Contact Us – Annette and Graeme at Oz Tantra
    • Oz Tantra newsletters
You are here: Home / Oztantra Blog

Making it easier to see each other

November 5, 2015 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Men and Women are different…

Can you relate to the feeling of being totally unseen by your partner, having to nag them over and over to do something for you, and even though they say they care, they still don’t do it?

Or having answered them in a way that you think is perfectly clear, having your partner go on and on as if you hadn’t even spoken? As if they totally were from Venus whilst you are from Mars?136475-370x400-jsw_antique_balance_scales

Men and women ARE different in many ways, even though modern thinkers are trying to homogenize us and treat us all as equal.  But being equal is very different to being the same.

This is especially true when it comes to our difficulties in communicating with each other.

What lies behind these difficulties is not so much what we’re saying but the misleading perceptions we have of each other that drive they way we hear.

For example:

man wearing braOften as women, we believe that a man should be “more feminine”, more sensitive and wordy in communicating, and judge him as wrong or inadequate when he isn’t.

Woman taking garbage outMen too can harbour the belief that a woman would be better off being “more masculine”, more straightforward and direct and judge them as wrong or too emotional when they aren’t.

We see each other through our own filters rather than seeing and appreciating our differences.

Simply not understanding these differences in perception leaves most of us feeling unheard, uncared about, disrespected and unloved, creating polarisation and unhelpful behaviours that result in men and women growing even further apart.

There is more to be gained in understanding and celebrating our differences rather than trying to minimize or neglect our uniqueness, particularly from a place of defensiveness fuelled by misunderstanding and ignorance.

Domestic violence is not a gender issue

domestic violenceThe current debate around domestic violence is an example of this polarisation, as this hugely important debate is unfortunately degenerating into a gender issue, mostly driven by knee jerking but well meaning politicians. When an issue that impacts both men and women is made out to appear gender specific, this will only polarise both genders making clear communication unnecessarily more challenging, and creating communication difficulties that could have otherwise been easily avoided.

Yes, men and women are obviously different in so many ways. Some are easy to spot, and some differences are more subtle in how we act, feel, communicate and react to each other. These differences are important and part of why we’re attracted to each other.

Not understanding creates powerlessness

In any relationship over time, repeated experiences of feeling unheard or unmet through not seeing each other leaves both partners feeling disconnected, frustrated, powerless and even hopeless.Couple arguing

From our place of hurt we try to get our power back by taking the offensive (actively attacking or withdrawing) which gives us a few moments of powerfulness over the other. But it leaves the attacked person in protection mode where it is extremely difficult to defend themselves and support us (what we are looking for) at the same time. This means each protagonist ends up alone and isolated from each other.

Seeking to understand and appreciate our differences gives power to both, especially when we both step out of playing games of protection or manipulation, and instead step into empowering each other.

For either we’re both empowered or neither of us are, the game of one upmanship brings only unending frustration and separation.

So how are we different?

Here is a little look at how men and women are different in their inherent natures, how these differences impact and what we can do to benefit from them. This list is by no means exhaustive, and of course, underneath our gender we are all just human.

MAN:

A man is internally motivated and more likely to follow his own path, to be driven by his inner sense of self.  He is largely self reliant and single focussed, accountable for his words and actions. He sees his needs as having paramount importance because ‘I get so, I can give’. He expresses himself through his opinions, actions and

Man

achievements that to him are expressions of his individual, yet vulnerable self. When he talks he is not simply telling details but is empowering himself with the energy his storytelling creates. Man needs woman, for he is fascinated, nurtured, energized and inspired by her beauty, mystery and appreciation of him. He seeks to do things for her, to meet her important needs through acts of generosity and kindness and to slay the odd dragon or two. He loves becoming part of her team in achieving her desired outcomes and feels enlivened by her contentment. His singular focus, his cutting through the messy or the unnecessary in order to achieve clarity takes energy. He highly values woman’s independence and though he loves to help, he doesn’t wish to get involved in her ‘issues’, for he sees these as draining of his precious life energy and having no obvious solution. He may not see her nurturing of him as he forgets himself in his warrior like pursuit of his goals. When his own offerings are unheard or rejected, he will feel unworthy and a failure. Asking a man to provide you with what you know he cannot is particularly cruel for him.

WOMAN:

A woman is externally motivated and responds more automatically to others needs and preferences than to her own. She will seek her sense of self through connection with others, supporting and enhancing herself through helping them, though she does not seek ultimate responsibility for herself. She is fullness, beauty, radiance, beingness and love. Her magic is in her vulnerability, her receptiveness and her ability to give of herself. Nurturing, companionship,Woman being self aware listening, sharing, playfulness, spontaneity, trust and appreciation are some of her many gifts. She fills herself by receiving from nature, creativity and pleasure. She is happy in the moment and in the messiness of life, her focus is more on the details and the process, rather than the outcome. She will not understand that this is the opposite to a man and will drain herself by nagging him into attending to them. She seeks agreement and commonality and without it feels disconnected, anxious and distant. Without connection with another she can feel a loss of connection with herself. Woman needs man to love, protect, provide for, cherish and ravish her. Even though she is much more able to do these things for herself these days she is still enlivened by his appreciation, providing for and love of her. She believes that if a man doesn’t see all her efforts to please and care for him and respond in kind as a woman would, he is a selfish bastard, leaving her exhausted and filled with resentment and bitterness.

When a woman is unseen by man:

When she has given her all and is left unseen in a place of powerlessness a woman will understandably seek to protect herself from further hurt. She will do this by consciously, or unconsciously attempting to take away her man’s power, the only obvious step for the disempowered. Her weapons are withholding her appreciation, her admiration, her trust and of course, her sex. She can also criticize, interrupt, complain about or ignore him, comparing him unfavourably with others, showing disinterest in and demeaning his ideas, his earning ability or smothering him with ‘Mother Knows Best’. She can also withhold her joy, radiance and beauty (a vital source of energy for him). Her emotionally abusive weapons are more covert and socially acceptable than physical violence (though occasionally she Tantric Couple In Heart Shirtcan resort to this as well) but they’re nonetheless devastating to her man.

When a man is unseen by woman:

He is left powerless in the face of her protection and it brings out the opposite of his true nature. He will seek distance instead of intimacy (what she least wants). He may choose to compete with her rather than cherish her. He may anticipate with suspicion rather than trust. Instead of natural respect he might treat her with disdain. As he begins to relate from a place of fear rather than of love he will seek to objectify her rather than feel her, as to feel would be too dangerous. His response to a woman’s weapons is one of shock, dismay, disbelief and a loss of his power, resulting in fury and rage. This rage has little place to go, as even in his pain his desire to protect rather than retaliate is strong. He will often (though not always) choose to shut down instead. From his own place of disempowerment he can resort to same weapons as the woman uses above. Acts of physical violence are his last resort.

Turning the tables and seeing each other more clearly:

Woman can:

  • Choose to drop her weapons and instead truly revel in her own inner power, beauty and radiance so man can love, appreciate and care for her.
  • Nurture herself through her own gifts and come to him empowered rather than trying to get something from him.
  • Rather than over giving of herself, clearly asking him for help from a place of self worth. Remembering he is goal rather than task driven letting him know what outcome his help will create for her, and asking what he needs to achieve it. Giving her appreciation afterwards.
  • Be open to receiving, an opinion, a compliment, a gift, or man’s love. In her receptivity he feels inspired to give.
  • Be able to listen to him without needing to interrupt, judge or justify herself and he will feel accepted by her and his heart will open in return.
  • When she ask for things, disagrees with him, or talks with him, to do so from her place of love where he will more likely hear her.

Man can:

  • Choose to drop his need to self protect and call his woman on her defences from a place of clarity and love, where his anger will dissipate and he will feel reconnected with his innate power and connection with himself
  • Recognise that he is enough in himself and let go of his ego need to be “right”
  • Understand that sometimes his desire to “fix” things doesn’t work in relationship, unless it involves a leaky tap or unblocking the vacuum cleaner
  • Understand that simply listening with presence and allowing her intensity to run then subside naturally, is a deeply loving space for him to hold for her
  • Know that even though his role in relationship may not be that of protector and provider in the traditional way his heart and his passion is still what she seeks.
  • See the sheer beauty and humour in their differences with laughter, as laughter is a great intensity shifter.

This is a large and complex topic but beginning with some simple understandings can allow huge shifts to happen in your relationship with the ‘opposite’ sex.Annette & Graeme, Relationship counsellors,Sexuality counsellors,Tantra facilitators, Marriage counselors, Marriage advice,

Remembering that underneath our defences we are all just looking for love and acceptance in one way or another and in that we are definitely both equal AND the same.

For those of you seeking more on this intriguing subject see the wonderful work by Alison Armstrong on which some of this article is based.

And for those who would like to explore this in more detail in their own relationships contact Oztantra for a Skype session here

 

 

 

Thinking vs Feeling

October 20, 2015 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Understanding this relationship will change your life!

torch in caveWhen we first start to look at ourselves and become more aware of what is happening inside of us it can feel a bit like a journey into madness. This journey is necessary in order to become more whole in ourselves. When we shine the torch light inside of us it is vital to learn the skills for navigating what we discover- the unlimited cornucopia of our stories and the inevitable discomfort of our feelings.

This is the way to satisfying intimate relationship and unlimited sexual pleasure! For the degree with which we are intimate with ourselves is the degree to which we can be intimate and in pleasure with another.

Most of us try to think our feelings

Though this is what most of us try to do, as a way of avoiding the discomfort of actually feeling them. As we become more and more intellectual this becomes more ‘normal’.  The problem withhead on fire this is that it suppresses our authentic connection to ourselves, leaving us more anxious and fear based, more susceptible to mind generated negative thoughts and feelings.

Thinking vs Feeling

The first step is to start taking your awareness from the world around you to the world inside of you and simply notice what is happening- thinking vs feeling.

The second step is to make our feelings OK. If we’re not comfortable in our feelings we judge them as messy, painful and unnecessary. They’re certainly often portrayed that way in our society, whether it’s in emotion fuelled dramas on TV or role modelled by our least favourite ‘over emotional’ relative or co worker. Emotions also get a bad rap from many spiritual philosophies that talk about the need to ‘transcend’ emotions in order to be truly ‘spiritual’. Instead, we suggest accepting them and going through our feelings allows them to feel less like pain and more like aliveness on the way to truth and wholeness.

There are generally two types of feeling paths that people experience (who are often in relationship with each other!):

People with emotional intensity:

If you are someone who has many intense feelings then your journey towards wholeness is starting out fragmented in the intensity and moving toward your centre, where your centre is your rock in the middle of the storm of life. Like the popular poster image of a few years ago with a man appearing at the door of a tiny lighthouse, standing on a foundation no wider than the lighthouse itself in a raging ocean. The man appears without fear, centred and grounded in himself.

This is stepping into a place of control in your feelings is your challenge. Note that I said control ‘IN’ your feelings, rather than control ‘OVER’ them. It sounds illogical yet the experience is one of coming home to yourself, of freedom.

man in lighthouseIf intense feelings are your normal then your task is to get more present in them so they don’t overwhelm you. To detach your feelings from your story and just feel what is real in your body, by observing your thoughts exactly as they are right now and feeling your feelings as they are in the present moment. Rather than creating more intensity through spiraling thoughts and increasing emotion ie. drama, as this drama becomes like a never ending soap opera with no way out, with you hooked into waiting for the next episode. Taking some slow, deep breaths will help, as taking control of our breath helps us to take control of our feelings.

For when we fully feel any individual feeling it passes and is gone from our body, most often within a few moments, half an hour to an hour at most. If it feels never ending and doesn’t shift, this means you are still not experiencing it fully, and staying in the drama of your thoughts. If this is happening be gentle with yourself and see if you can stop and go more deeply into the feeling- ending your intensity sooner! You will know it has shifted when you feel clear of it.

People with little emotionality:

However if you are someone who has been very intellectual rather than feeling based it can seem chaotic and overwhelming to start feeling (not to mention pointless).

Man in mudIf you are new to feeling your task is to value your feelings and trust that they have a purpose, that they will offer you useful information about yourself. And that from this perspective they will also offer you freedom- for at its deepest point freedom is simply a feeling in your body.

Your practice is recognizing when you are thinking and unaware of your feelings. You do this by pausing and taking your attention inside you and simply noticing. Taking some deeper breaths can help, as the more you breathe the more you feel. You might first notice you are feeling nothing, this is still a feeling!

Remember that to fulfil your deepest desire of feeling connected with another you must first feel this connection with yourself.

Connection is a feeling in itself.

We can’t separate our feelings and decide we want to feel happy, excited, loving or connected etc whilst avoiding feeling sad, scared, hurt or alone.

We either feel or we don’t.

Whilst we may think we can feel happy etc whilst suppressing our so called negative emotions what we actually experience is a mere echo of what is possible. This interestingly also include our feelings of sexual pleasure.

Which means if you want better orgasms you need to start feeling more emotional!

And by feeling emotional we don’t in mean the socially accepted model- that of acting out our emotions all over the place! We mean simply feeling them.

For if you desire intimate relationship, if you want more love, closeness, happiness and even pleasure and excitement in your life then getting into healthy relationship with your feelings is vital because all of these good things are feelings!

One of the main reasons we avoid intimacy, or it goes pear shaped is down to our inability toCouple arguing connect with or be with this part of ourselves. We see this over and over again in the work that we do with couples. We personally know this one from the inside out too, due to the intense nature of our relationship and life changes we’ve called in over the last few years- where our emotional intelligence has been invaluable, the difference between life and death!

Feelings are not good or bad

Emotions such as fear, anger, sadness and feelings like guilt and shame are not the only feelings we’re capable of, they just tend to be the messiest. It doesn’t mean our painful feelings are wrong it just means we need to learn how to deal with them.

Of course we can also experience many other feelings such as happiness, gratitude, openness, joy, peace, ease, love, pleasure etc. Our biggest challenge with these so called ‘positive’ feelings is that we don’t know we have the choice to access them inside ourselves and miss out on them whilst waiting for external circumstances to offer them to us.

We can’t choose to feel some feelings and not others, we either feel or we don’t. We miss out on feeling truly, mindblowingly wonderful by avoiding feeling so called ‘bad’. It’s all just feeling.

Our feelings have a purpose

Emotions are part of our communication and survival systems. In the west they are thought to be created in the oldest part of our Primal brain as part of our survival system, in the east are thought to exist as energy in motion (E-motion) in the body.

kinked hoseA simple way of thinking about feelings in our bodies is to imagine them like water flowing through a hose. When we choose to avoid a feeling we put a kink in the hose, creating a backup of water that eventually leaks out in other areas. The way to unkink the hose is simply to acknowledge and feel the feeling.

Our problem is trying to answer a feeling problem with thinking answers. We do this because we subconsciously believe it keeps us safe and in control. There are times when this is necessary and others when it just gets in the way. We all genuinely want to feel loving and loved in our relationships, and try to do the right thing, so we experience much inner turmoil when we’re triggered into feelings and behaviours that are the opposite of what we want. This inner conundrum, driven by our social conditioning and Egoic fears about emotions, creates confusion, disconnection and shame inside us making it difficult to step further forward into intimacy.

Thoughts and feelings are separate.

Thoughts happen in the mind. Feelings happen in the body.

Feelings are NOT thoughts and you cannot think them.

But they are strongly related to each other-

Thoughts can create feelings: today is Valentines Day and I believe I will receive flowers from my lover therefore I feel happy.

Feelings can also create thoughts: I feel scared as I want to tell my partner I love her. The fear of rejection makes me think she will see me as needy and I will be rejected again.

Triggered feelings from something outside of us: Anger in response to my husband sitting in front of the tv instead of helping me with the kids.

Triggered feelings from inside of us (usually from our past): feeling my girlfriend not being interested in me brings up feelings I experienced with my mother being emotionally unavailable.

WE all have these four kinds of feelings experiences and not knowing how to deal with them keeps us separate from our authentic self and from those around us as we act out, disconnect, pull away or shut down.

Thoughts help us understand whilst staying in control.

Feelings seem like they take us out of control and understanding comes after they have been felt. This sense of being out of control can be greatly lessened by simply choosing to acknowledge, feel, understand, enjoy and resolve our feelings.

Exercises to try:

  1. Woman MeditationPractice noticing whether you ‘thinking’ your feelings in your head, or feeling them in your body. If you are thinking them, pause and bring your attention to your body and notice what you are actually feeling, separate from your thoughts.
  2. Practice noticing whether your thoughts are creating your feelings, or your feelings are creating thoughts, and whether your feeling triggers are external or internal. Noticing this will show you what to do about them.

Genital Appreciation

September 30, 2015 By admin Leave a Comment

Genital Appreciation Week…

breasts

Yes, last time we offered Breast Appreciation Week and from the response we received it sounded like a lot of people out there rose to the call- both Men & Women.

This time we’re going a little lower and inviting you to consider the art of genital appreciation.

Yes, you did hear us right, we said GENITAL Appreciation.

Think about it…we spend much time either denying or ignoring our genitals until we demand they respond big time to our desires for maximum pleasure and connection.

This focus on ignorance vs performance can leave them a little disconnected or neglected.

male groinAnd if you’re into high friction sex or masturbation without conscious breathing (which maybe you aren’t if you’re here) your genitals will also be desensitized.

And believe it or not your genitals are more than just physical bits of us that wiggle, harden and flow. They are their own distinct and individual entities that can feel taken for granted, neglected or abused due to a very subtle level of awareness that you can tune into if you take the time to listen.

They will respond to your, and your lover’s love and attention and reward you with heightened sensitivity and a feeling of the sacredness that lies within them that makes making love feel more than just having sex.

So how do you go about a bit of genital appreciation?

Allow 20 mins per person (use a timer if you wish)
If you are doing this with your lover you start with taking turns.butt image
The person being appreciated lies down and exposes as much of their genitals as they feel comfortable with. The person doing the appreciation finds a comfortable position from which to view and casts their eyes on their lovers sexy bits with love and appreciation. The receiver just allows themselves to be viewed appreciatively. Then swap.
If you are by yourself you can use a mirror to view yourself with.Sounds pretty simple? Yes. Sounds pretty weird? Yes. Sounds pretty boring, too? Yes.

So when does it become beneficial?

When you go under the doing of the act and move into the being.

male groinSuch is the power of our sex organs they can transport us into an expanded reality if we allow them.


You have to get really, really present with yourself and with them otherwise you’ll miss it..

It can be incredibly sensual and intimate.

Giver: Pause. Breathe. Drop into your own body. Rather then using your mind to to think and judge here just experience, as if nothing else exists. Let the shape, curve, length, roundness, softness etc draw you in. Breathe into your heart and open your subtle senses, notice what happens.

Receiver: Pause. Breathe. Drop into your body. Take your attention to your genitals and think of their shape, butt imagedefinition without judgment. Get really, really present with them, as if nothing else exists. Observe any embarrassment and breathe into it, give it love and it will fade. Go a little deeper and ‘sense’ them, do they feel,seem open, closed, happy, neglected, appreciated etc. Ask them if they have a message for you. Don’t think it, just wait and see what comes. Then just breathe and be. Let the love in.

When the time is up thank each other and swap over.
On completion spoon together for a few minutes then share your experience. Keep your words positive and descriptive as the vulnerability can be high.

Nb. For those purists who may consider these images too “sexualized” for a “spiritual” article we believe that love and enlightenment can be achieved through the body and its sexuality, rather than being kept separate from it. It can be hard to see in this age of sex image overwhelm but underneath this truth remains. If you’re not sure then try the exercise above.

For comment or further information contact us today on 1800 TANTRA or email here

 

A Guide to Breast Appreciation

September 22, 2015 By admin Leave a Comment

breastsWell, if it’s not official, we’re declaring it Breast Appreciation Week!

And to do so we’re offering A Guide to Breast Appreciation for both women and the men who love them…

A Woman’s Breasts are the Pathway to her Heart

Have you as a woman ever stopped to think about your breasts? It’s very likely that your lovers have given them some undivided attention, whether it has been in lovemaking, in that hot new outfit or as you’re brushing your teeth naked in the bathroom…

Your relationship to your own breasts is a powerful indicator of your relationship to your heart, and even to yourself.

Do you think of your breasts from an external point of view? How they look, whether, as you wiggle them into theirWonder Woman underwire or push up bra, they match up to the socially approved images? Or do you pause for a moment and remember how they may have nurtured your children? Or with a smile how they’re appreciated by your lovers and the degree of pleasure they give?

Perhaps you appreciate them for the amount of pleasure they give you? As the nipples rise to peaks of excitement, sending a direct line of pleasure to the clitoris do you see your breasts mainly as a source of pleasure, a beginning place to stimulate other parts of the body?

Do you ever relate to your breasts from inside of yourself ie. feeling them from the inside out? Do you notice how connect your breasts feel to your heart? Do you notice how when your heart is open your breasts become more sensitive, even fuller and rounder? Have you ever felt your breasts expressing the language of your heart? Perhaps you have experienced your breasts as totally numb, feeling little? This is a common occurrence as our breasts respond to where we have hardened our hearts in life. But they can be reawakened with loving touch.

BreastBreast Appreciation Ritual

Set aside 10-15mins to fully appreciate your breasts as part of your womanly, feminine self. Let them be naked, free of restraint. Touch with gentleness and caress them with love, starting from the outside and slowly working towards the nipples. Touch with appreciation and without an agenda to make anything happen. Breathe into them and feel the feelings that arise. Imagine your heart underneath and notice the degree of connection you feel between both, without judgement. Complete with just holding them in each hand in stillness.

Notice how your relationship to your breasts, your heart and yourself can change after this simple self love meditation.

Breast Appreciation for Men

Men, know that your woman’s breasts are a gateway to her heart and her heart is the key to her fully awakened sexuality. Let her know how much you appreciate this part of her. Tell her often how beautiful they are to you. Touch them with reverence as well as lust. Start with gentle touch around the outsides, hold and feel the weight of them in your hands, touch the space between her breasts with the palm of your hand, melt it onto her heart. Slowly moving to the centre of her breasts. Move towards and away from the nipples, blow warm/cool air over them, lick, kiss, suck gently then harder. Feel your woman’s response to gauge your touch.Woman breastfeeding

Nb. If your woman is breastfeeding check in with her as to the degree of touch she is open to, sometimes she can a bit of overwhelm with too much going on for them.

And ladies remember you don’t need to wait for your lover to touch them, it is OK for you to caress them in self pleasuring and lovemaking yourself, don’t miss out on this important part of your whole body arousal.

« Previous Page
Next Page »

CONTACT US:

Ph 1800 TANTRA

(1800 826 872)

International +61 457 966 696

 

Coming Together

Coming Together

CLICK HERE for Oztantra's book on all things
relationship, intimacy & sex
to last a lifetime, coming soon!

Sign Up for Our Fortnightly Newsletter

newsletter-sign-up

Read Our Previous Newsletters

Couples Retreats

Join us for our
Couples together on couples retreatEcstasy & Intimacy Retreat in QLD
Apr 21-28 2018
Ecstasy & Intimacy Retreat in Bali
Sept 22-29 2018
 We limit numbers in this retreat to maximise your experience

Couples Getaways

InquireLennox Beach Resort about our Ultimate Couples Getaways holiday near Byron Bay whilst exploring your relationship.

Weekend Workshop

Intimacy can continueSexuality of the Heart 
Reconnect, get excited about your relationship..
Ballina, near Byron Bay

May 25-27 2018

Oztantra Links

Blog  |  Media  |  Workshops  |  Books/DVDs

WORKSHOP FOR WOMEN

Gspot is the heart of womanPower Of Yoni
June 26-30 2018
Explore the essence of yourself as woman

Lost That Loving Feeling?

Re-Ignite Your Spark Online Relationship Course

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Linkedin
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Have a question?

PH 1800 TANTRA (1800 826 872)

 

Recent Posts

  • Men: Improving Your Strike Rate April 19, 2018
  • Dissolving Your Inner Walls… March 1, 2018
  • Lingam Massage February 8, 2018
  • It’s the little things that will save your relationship January 11, 2018

Latest Tweets

  • Men: Improving Your Strike Rate  - https://t.co/oPjTuhNh0B April 21, 2018 1:27 am
  • Coming Together: Oztantra's book is coming soon.. - https://t.co/2xcTjVL4QM March 20, 2018 10:10 pm
  • Follow OzTantra's Tweets

logo.png

Facebook Twitter Youtube

  • Oztantra Webinar’s – Relationship and Sexuality
  • Q and A – Frequently asked Questions Answered – Oz Tantra
  • Links – Oz Tantra Relationship Counselling
  • The Art of Relationship Creating Meaningful Intimate Relationships
  • Emotional Intelligence, What is it? – Oz Tantra
  • Breathwork Sessions
  • Lasting Longer for Men
  • Female Sexuality for Women
  • Previous Oz Tantra Newsletters
  • Men’s Focus Group
  • Beating Pornography Addiction
  • Principles of Tantra
  • Tantric History – The History of Tantra
  • Cobra Breath – The Cosmic Cobra Breath
  • What is Tantric Sex REALLY Like? – Oz Tantra
  • The Art of Self Pleasure
  • Tantra Massage
  • Man Talk
  • Depression…making light of it
  • Gspot – Oztantra
  • The Power of Reverse Polarity
  • Oz Tantra On Line Relationship Course
  • Tantric Meditations
  • How to Become a Tantric Lover – Oz Tantra

Return to top of page

Oztantra © 2018 | Beautiful Theme