What can we do about it?
Welcome to the club!
Most people at some stage of their relationships get to a place of boredom, routine and lack of real sexual desire, where you’re just going through the motions.
Where the rest of your relationship is ok, it’s just the sex that’s lacking. The most challenging aspect of this place is being able to admit it.
Then talk about it.
Yet if you don’t acknowledge it and talk it over one of two things will happen over time.
Either your frustration will cause you to become emotionally toxic in your relationship, or your resentment will cause you to shut down and become emotionally unavailable.
Neither of these are good things for your relationship. Further down the track one of you might take your sexual desires outside the relationship and start an affair- with porn, internet chat, a one night stand or something more substantial.
The first thing to know is that if you’re bored, frustrated or resentful most likely your partner is too and the best thing you can do about it IS to talk about it in a non judgmental way.
Reassure your partner that your boredom or frustration is not their fault- it’s not that they’re not sexy, gorgeous, slim enough, or not performing well enough in bed.
You may be one step ahead and have already tried to spice things up with lingerie, toys, porn, new positions or locations; perhaps even handcuffs, a whip, or extra people in the bedroom.
These things can spice things up for a while but eventually you’re back to where you were, still with the feeling something missing.
This is where a Tantric approach to sex can help as it helps you connect with the pleasure that lives inside you, connected to your heart that makes lovemaking a whole new ball game…and it doesn’t mean you have to give up any of the above treats.
Using a tantric approach makes them even better!