Regular quality sex is essential to good health and wellbeing
Regular sex is widely believed to be an important part of maintaining good health and wellbeing through its heart opening experience of intimacy and stimulation of rejuvenating hormones. However what we generally believe sex to be – a biological urge resulting in a brief encounter between two people, experiencing some physical closeness and/or the release of tension through orgasm, is an enjoyable but limited view. In Tantra, sex is seen not just as an itch to scratch but as an opportunity to be as Gods and Goddesses in sexual love.
Tantric sex is an experience of true bliss:
With senses and hearts wide open where we can experience any, or all of the following:
- we feel relaxed yet fully alive and nurtured
- pleasure and orgasm happens throughout the whole body rather than just in the genitals
- our aloneness retreats
- our consciousness expands
- we experience being at one with love – which is our true nature!
Tantric sex is a merging of body, heart, mind and spirit.
This experience of expanded consciousness is not just a place to ‘escape to’ or ‘get high’ but is where we connect to our essential truth of being one with love, the Divine and the universe, bringing us to a higher sense of gratitude, compassion, peacefulness, wisdom and acceptance. It also allows time for an expanded experience of orgasm and the optimal stimulation of rejuvenating hormones. As humans we are unique in being able to experience sex at this level. In Tantra we can learn to create these experiences through meditation and while making love. Regular experiences of bliss allow us to approach life with gratitude and enthusiasm, motivated by love.
What is Tantric Sex actually like?
Sex is breathing, feeling, warmth, tingling, connecting, creating, sharing, trusting, meeting, here, there, more, less, moving, gratitude, safety, opening, vulnerability, surrendering, expanding, dissolving, stillness, being nothing or everything, ecstasy, bliss.
- In Tantric sex there is no goal of getting anywhere, of striving for the big “0”.
- With an open heart you approach your partner as an aspect of the divine.
- You are in the now, purely awareness and feeling.
- The mind is still, focussed on being rather than doing.
- Your ego dissolves and your heart opens.
- In Tantra, sex is making love as a meditation
Relaxing into bliss…
How does Tantric Sex differ from other kinds of sex?
A snapshot of typical fantasy sex:
- The setting is idyllic, ambiently lit and subtly scented.
- He is handsome, well built, rich, romantic, suntanned, eloquent and has million dollar hands.
- She is beautiful, slim, pert-breasted, silky haired, smooth skinned, perfectly groomed, wet and willing.
- The sex is spontaneous, effortless, explosive…
A snapshot of typical reality sex:
- The same old bed, lights off, eyes closed.
- He carries stress from a hard day at the office and seeks an opportunity for release.
- She is tired from overload and would love to just have a cuddle and go to sleep.
- Often when we’re not sure how to have sex we can be focussed more on what is going wrong, than on creating what we want…
- “I hope he turns the light out so he doesn’t see how big my bum looks,”
“I wonder if I’m doing this right?”
“I wonder how much longer I have to do foreplay before I can have an orgasm,”
“I’m too tired and too angry at him for not helping me today and now he wants sex too!”
“I’m really worried about work, I hope I can get it up,”
“mmm that’s nice, I wonder when/if will I come?”
“I want to come, it feels good, just not yet, not yet,”
“I hate it, I never come, what’s for dinner?”
Orgasm feels so good because it allows us to let go of control and go beyond our minds to experience bliss for a short time, but it gets even better than that…
- The sex is familiar, brief, orgasm oriented, over. Done.
Tantric sex: Pleasure, Passion and Love
- According to prior agreement, a space is created to share intimate, sensual, sexual time with no other agenda than connection and pleasure
- Recent and authentic sharing has created a strong connection between you
- Your conscious intention for personal and mutual pleasure encourages sexual energy to arise
- Caring communication and comfort enables vulnerability and closeness
- A meditative mind clears in preparation for being present and feeling
- Coming fully into the NOW allows space for creativity and spontaneity to arise.
- Stories and tensions of the blame game are released in preparation to meet our God and Goddess within
- Acknowledgment of the healing power of sexual love enables a letting go of the frustrations of the ego
- Desires are communicated and heard without judgement
- Desires of each are embraced and accommodated using tantric tools
- Full body awareness deepens, encouraging the flow of life force energy, opening and tantalizing
- Deep and deeper connection evolves through eye contact, conscious breathing and gratitude
- Intensity builds then is dispersed throughout the body, over and again, with delicious valleys of stillness in between
- Where we as lovers are invited to step into something larger than our everyday ordinariness.
- Sex is the original act of nuclear fusion where chemistry becomes alchemy.
- Completion comes in its own good time, with feelings of nurture, renewal and expansive love
In the Tantric sex experience, there is no goal of orgasm, no tensing or pushing for release. You create love and pleasure together. Depending on your desire you can create increasing levels of intensity and scale the dizzy heights of peak orgasmic pleasure, perhaps meeting the face of God (or devil), or just drift along together in bliss of the orgasmic valley. Letting go of trying to force orgasmic pleasure allows orgasm to happen naturally and spontaneously. As you respond to each moment the love you create can be gentle and flowing, intensely passionate and hot, primal and earthy or expansively magical. There are so many wonderful pleasures to experience that being willing to take a risk and create something new, rather than staying in the safety of the familiar seems so worth it, don’t you think?
How can we experience this bliss?
Sex, intimacy and heart connection
Understanding that it is possible for sex to be more than a biological urge, an ego stroking performance or just a release of tension is an important part of achieving bliss.
From emotional walls to relaxation
One of the reasons we can avoid or rush sex, doing it in the dark or with our eyes closed, is that we have emotional walls of fear, frustration, shame or vulnerability which prevent us from feeling comfortable being really close to another person. When we learn to relax and feel comfortable with intimacy our hearts open, allowing love to flow and our capacity for orgasmic pleasure to expand. This is a great motivation to dissolve barriers to intimacy.
From physical friction to our energetic body
An understanding that sex happens at more than just the physical or ‘friction’ level –but involves our energy body as well – that feels like it comes from deep within us – is an integral element in the experience of bliss. Where we awaken the sexual energy deep within the body with the Principles of Tantra. We can learn to feel the orgasmic or Life Force energy that exists in us all the time through awareness, use of the breath, meditation and tantric practices. Our experience of this energy deepens when we take it into lovemaking through sacred sexuality practices.
From Having Sex into Making Love
Where we have opened our hearts, both to ourselves and our partner, where sexual energy does not feel only like arousal or excitement, but it feels somehow nurturing and blissful as well, bringing contentment and inner peace.
Men and Tantric Sexuality
Men learn to take their time, to open their hearts and expand their pleasure, and to express pleasure as a divine language of love. Men can become multi orgasmic and separate orgasm from ejaculation, extending duration of lovemaking and expanding blissful sensation exponentially. They also understand they can give and receive exquisite pleasure with or without an erection. Honouring their partner as a goddess, touching her with love and confidence, men also learn to take sexual energy through their hearts and so begin to make love as well as have sex. In Tantra the man is empowered in sexuality by learning to control his sexual energy, to slow down and not be ashamed of it, to ride waves of orgasmic energy as a surfer would ride waves on the ocean.
Women and Tantric Sexuality
A woman is empowered by learning to overcome social conditioning and enjoy connecting to and nurturing herself with her sexual energy, seeing sex as a pleasure that she truly desires, rather than an obligation. There is time for her to feel her glorious and powerful sexual nature, to enjoy being nurtured through loving connection with herself, and her lover. And to learn that she can become active in expanding her own orgasmic or multi/omni orgasmic capacity. As she comes to know her body and descend into her depths she learns to feel the love that exists within her. Then she can choose to allow herself to surrender and receive the man from this place of infinite love and fullness.
A Journey of Growth and Discovery
Like anything worth doing Tantric sexuality takes practice. But you don’t have to wait until you know it all – every little step you take in this direction brings its own rewards. It’s really a journey of getting to know yourself intimately first. We begin with the physical, explore the emotional and set the stage for the Divine.
The good news is that tantric sex gets better as we get older!
And after reading about it your next step is to begin to experience how all of this really feels, in the safe and supportive atmosphere of an Oztantra Session or Workshop.
So make a booking today!