How to take control of and increase your sexual pleasure:

Pick the moment of your best orgasm ever, remember how good it felt? Nice huh?

Now multiply that by say 7 or 8 times. Mmm! even better.

Now imagine holding this for a couple of hours! Whaaat?

And this is all with out ejaculation. Or even penetration.

Did you know that ejaculation and orgasm are two separate functions, so that you can have as many orgasms as you want, bigger and more amazing than you can imagine, and then choose if and when you want to ejaculate? 

You probably think that orgasm and ejaculation are the same thing because they have always happened at the same time.

So how can I experience pleasure this?

By undoing the conditioning you have in your mind and in your body about how sex should be. By learning how to invite your heart into sex, sustain intense pleasure in your body and letting go of your addiction to ejaculation.

Ever since you started being sexual it is likely that you have been doing it in a hurry. Historically you had to quick in case some wild animal came along to disturb you from procreating the species. In your early adolescence masturbation would be quick and furtive to avoid the shame of getting caught. Same thing with early partners. Then there's usually a brief period where sex is the main thing on your agenda in your relationship (known as the honeymoon period) where you start to want to last longer. Then in midlife it's quick to fit sex in before the kids wake up or before you go to sleep at the end of a working day. In older age you try to be quick before you lose your erection!

Boys learn to view "coming" as a way to relieve the pressure of intense feelings or emotions in their bodies. As an adult "coming" (or "going") is continued to be seen as a form of stess or emotional release.

Part of you is addicted to getting there as quick as you can.
Your mind and body become conditioned to this way of being.

So when you have the time and the inclination to want last longer, to experience more pleasure and to give your partner more pleasure your mind/body can feel like an enemy. No matter how hard you try the rush to the end will keep tripping you up.

There is yet another area of conditioning- a Fear of intimacy, emotions and vulnerablility.
Boys are touched less than girls. They are stopped being hugged at an earlier age and taught to be "manly" ie. to deny their emotions. In this way men are conditioned to cut off from their bodies and live more in their minds. This is one of the reasons why pornography is so popular- enjoyable sex with limited intimacy involved.

For a man Intimacy= feelings= emotions= fear= vulnerability= annihilation (death of the ego)

Limiting emotional awareness also limits the amount of pleasure men can feel. Men are not taught healthy expression of anger and so supress it or channel it into aggression. Passion is created in the same area of the body as anger and sexuality- the belly. To suppress one is to suppress the others.

Lastly, men carry a lot of shame and guilt around their sexuality, being seen as driven by something often regarded as dirty or shameful, and denying the love that it can create. Many men also carry subconscious gulit and shame about the rape and violence committed against women and men by men in the history of mankind.

So the key to learning to overcome premature ejaculation, impotence and become multi orgasmic is about learning to become present with intensity of feelings in your own body (and your partners).

How do you do this?

You can learn many different techniques to help delay ejaculation. Many of them ask you to dampen your pleasure or hold yourself back. Or to be focussed in your head performing the technique but not necessarily connecting with your partner. The following beginners outline will teach you the skills that will change your relationship to sex and invite your partner closer, have them wanting more sex with you as you become more connected to your heart and to Love. Even more surprising is that you will open to greater pleasure and Love yourself, driving out the pressure to perform, driving out loneliness, fear and shame as you become a master in your sexual energy flow which will resonate in every area of your life.