I’ve been sexually abused…
How can I stop it impacting my sex life?
Sexual abuse is a major trauma because of the place our sexuality has in us- it lives at the core of who we are. Especially if it happened when we were very young, over a significant period of time or included a high level of violence. It’s like our soul has been stolen from us. But even a relatively ‘minor’ episode can have a large impact, mainly because of what we tell ourselves around it- that we’re to blame, that we’re shameful or powerless. Another very painful aspect of sexual abuse is not being believed, having our experience denied is hugely invalidating to the self…
These painful experiences live in the body and in the psyche and with the help of our amygdala, part of the brain that receives sensory information, is connected with memory and outputs our emotional reactions, can be triggered at any time. The trigger can be a tone of voice, a phrase, a look a smell, a situation- like being sexual and there we are, right back in the original experience. Most people shut down to avoid this pain and create struggle in their relationships as a result.
It seems logical to avoid the hurt altogether. Yet the only way to heal it is to move through it. Not by re traumatizing yourself but through touching the edges and reframing these experiences in a new and more empowered way. Giving the shame back to the perpetrator and reclaiming your innocence and beauty. Moving into a place of sexual freedom and a shining new connection with and belief in yourself.
Fully healing sexual abuse takes work but it is absolutely possible if you want it, for both men and women.
If you would like to talk to us call 1800 TANTRA or email here
An important part about sexual healing is that you are safe, read this important article here
All contact with Annette & Graeme is completely confidential.
