Acknowledgement of what lies at our core- Our Sexual Energy
Sexual Energy is the primal and creative energy of the universe. Everything that is alive has been created by it, animals, plants, humans, even the universe itself by the first big bang, according to Tantric mythology. Even though most of us may cringe at the idea of our parents having sex, this is how we were made too. In fact whilst visiting the fabulous and fun Sex Museum in Amsterdam (highly recommended if you’re in the area) the only thing that bothered Annette were the pornographic images (quite innocent these days) of people with hairdo’s like her mum and dad!
Yet sexual energy is so much more than just our biology.
It is the creative part of us that can create new life in ourselves as well as our offspring. As well as being present in relationship as attraction, arousal and passion, it is equally present in our enthusiasm and passion for interesting projects in work or hobbies. It’s the energy we use to run around the backyard with or care for our children or grandchildren. 
It is in inspiration for new ideas, it is the energy we feel when we’ve had an uplifting shift in our self awareness. You’ve probably felt it yourself after really satisfying sex, finding yourself with increased enthusiasm and vitality for living. Sexual energy opens us and makes us available for life.
At a physical level sex has multiple benefits from reducing high blood pressure and stress, producing dopamine to build confidence whilst inspiring action, oxytocins to enhance affection and bonding to opoids that produce feelings of happiness and wellbeing. Sex keeps us physically fit, and we keep fit to enjoy better sex. Our pleasure may even boost our immunity and reduce chronic inflammation- the source of many disease processes through the production of Nitric Oxide.
Saying Yes to our Sexual Energy
We promote our sexual or life force energy by how we live as much as what we do in the bedroom. By where we say Yes to it. By eating plenty of fresh foods, breathing deeply, getting regular exercise, seeking things to inspire us, keeping our minds active, our hearts open. By making life affirming choices rather than limiting or life defeating ones. By having life affirming sex than the energy draining kind. By pleasuring yourself to feel alive and loved.
It is a natural human desire to want to feel good, it’s no mistake that the porn and drug industries (legal and illegal) are two of the largest in the world. We have a common human desire to want to
connect with something larger than ourselves. Almost every community on earth with some kind of ritual or spiritual practice seeking to access something to call God or Spirit. Even science focuses on it with its desire to explain the unexplainable.
Suppression of our Sexual Energy is life taking
It is unhealthy and a denial of our true nature and comes out of our fear of and social conditioning around its power. Sexual problems generally relate 
to acting out the suppression and repression of this energy rather than by its healthy expression. Even many psychological problems could be said to be based in the repression of this powerful force.
Sexual energy is natural, powerful and beautiful. It is catalytic in nature in that it arises unseen but felt. It alters the state of that which it arises in ie. we can’t see it or measure it but we can feel and notice its effects. It’s the only way most people feel absolute freedom- in the moment of orgasm where we are free of our everyday ordinary, limited mind. This experience is known as the ‘little death’ of the Ego. In 
sex there is union of the physical body, the subtle and soul bodies. This happens whether we are aware of it or not, whether we believe in such things or not.
Where is it in your life?
It is not important how often sex a couple has together, there is no magical, numerical formula. It’s the quality of the experience you’re creating that counts. What is also important is that a couple talks about, and make conscious decisions about this powerful part of their relationship.
Equally important is exploring the relationship you have with your own sexual energy. How do you view it? How do you manage it?
Activity: Write down and explore your own thoughts-
How do you feel reading this interpretation of sex?
What are your own beliefs about sex?
Where have they come from?
How well do they serve you today?
Where do you cultivate your own sexual energy? Where do you suppress it?
Do you own it, or give it away?
The more you say Yes to your Sexual Energy the more it will say Yes to you.
It will say Yes in healthy ways if you choose, or it will make its way out in pain and shadow, either way it will not be denied, the choice is up to you.
Unfortunately it is all too easy to put it in the too hard basket and flake out in front of the TV or your laptop instead for those few minutes of ‘me’ time.
Simply begin with sitting down opposite each other, facing each other directly. This allows your body’s energy systems to move into alignment without doing anything other than just sitting there breathing. (Holding hands is optional).
These lovers are all about the agenda- the oral sex is for one reason and one reason only- it’s the warm up for the ‘real’ sex act of penetration. So their actions are always done with a focus of getting somewhere else that’s better and as a result they drain all the juice out of the ‘right now’ moment for both you and themselves.
“I’m going to have and orgasm no matter what, I just have to try hard enough to make it happen”. This lover is desperate for pleasure and is going for it no matter what. And their mind oriented and control focussed approach will be doing two things: creating a tiring experience for the lover doing their best to support them and limiting their own capacity for pleasure. Because really big pleasure does not come from a place of mind control- nice orgasms can but the eye rolling, head back, screaming, shuddering full body and beyond orgasm comes only from surrender of the mind to the body and even the heart.
