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Best Ever Relationship Tool!

December 6, 2016 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

It’s breathing!

You’ve probably never thought about breathing as a relationship tool, but it is a powerful one.

Not to mention all the benefits breathing has to offer you as an individual, apart from the obvious one of keeping you alive!

Breathing In is the first thing we do when we’re born. Woman breastfeeding

Breathing out is the last thing we do before we die.

And the way we breathe in between not only keeps us alive, it has a significant impact on our quality of life in between…

Maybe you’ve noticed how your breath changes depending on how you feel: short and shallow when you’re stressed, deeper and slower when you’re relaxed. Your breath changes when you yawn, sigh, cry or laugh. Not only that but you can change how you feel by actively changing your breath.

We invite you to fall in love with breathing…

This alone will change your relationship! And the exciting thing about quality breathing is that it’s effects are cumulative- the more you do it the quicker and more longer lasting the impact.

From a relationship point of view breathing can:

Awareness of our breathing connects us to ourselves. This is a good thing as the more we’re connected to ourselves the more we have to share with another.
Deep breathing helps us get relaxed, present and grounded, making it easier for us to know what to say and to hear what our significant other is really saying!
Help move emotions through our bodies, avoiding stuckness and mental drama. The more we breathe the more we feel, release and shift.
Increase access to our intuitive wisdom and our heart’s truth as well as bring mental clarity.
Accelerated breathing increases our sexual pleasure, deep slow breathing spreads it through our bodies, producing altered states and even spiritual experiences!

Research shows that breathing does a lot more too!

Amongst other things breathing:

Decreases stress and promotes relaxation
Helps to decrease anxiety and depression
Increases happiness and optimism
Increases self awareness
Improves focus and concentration
Improves sleep
Strengthens our ability to regulate our emotions
Improves symptoms of trauma
Reduces impulsivity, cravings and addictions
Decreases stress and regulates our body’s level of cortisol, the stress hormone
Strengthens our immunity by altering the genes responsible for them
Reduces pain and activation of the pain centres in the brain
Improves digestion
Oxygenates muscles for better function
Detoxifies and releases toxins, removes carbon dioxide from the blood, replacing it with oxygen

Someone who is less stressed and depressed, more aware, happier, thinks clearer, sleeps well, regulates their emotions, isn’t ruled by addictions, stress or pain with a healthy tummy and fitter body would be much easier to be in relationship with, don’t you agree?

So take a pause and breathe…

Breathing mindfully can also help your relationship by helping you become less reactive. Can you imagine if instead of saying something mean, you were able to mentally step back and chill before talking? Wouldn’t that be nice? If the state of your mind affects the breath the reverse is true as well and here’s how it can help your relationship. The next time you’re arguing with your partner try taking longer, deeper breaths. Notice how that can quickly reduce anger and connect us with ourselves, allow us to look at the situation from a new perspective.

And last but not least breathing is a natural aphrodisiac

It helps us be more present with our lovers and will not only spread your pleasure into a more full bodied experience whilst increasing the intensity of your orgasm and build sexual stamina.

Falling in love with your breath will help you fall deeper and stay in love with your partner, with yourself and with life!

Breathing Activity:

An optimal breath comes by breathing deeply in through your nose into your belly, allowing your belly to fill, expanding up into your chest and exhaling through a slightly open mouth.

Try practicing breathing (mindfully) as often as you can remember.

Put up little notes around the house, at your computer, on your dashboard, in your meditation, when you exercise, getting ready for sleep, helping you wake up, put a breathing reminder app on our phone, anywhere and everywhere…

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Power Over vs Power Within

November 23, 2016 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

Where is the power in your relationship?

Power is what the world runs on. It is no surprise it turns up in our relationships! Power struggles often loom large between people in intimate relationship. Power struggles that leave us feeling like only one person can ‘win’ in a situation and the other must ‘lose’.

Can you relate to using phrases like this?

You must/should
You can’t
If you loved me
If you don’t, I…
If you do this for me, only then will I…
I must because you aren’t

This is because we’re brought up in a society with a singular model of power- that of Power Of or Power Over. Yet we have more than just this one model of power available to us. Here we explore five different types of power, finding the value and the negatives in each. You can see how they’re playing out in, or might be of value, in your own relationship.

‘Power Of’ and ‘Power Over’ are everywhere and are largely how the world at this point works. They leave couples stuck in and endless cycle of power struggle, point scoring and payback. The more unequal the power in this model the more corrupt it can become. Its corruption means the one in power has control, but misses true happiness. It also encourages the dominated person to remain the eternal child, or become a victim, rather than inviting them to become whole in themselves.

Power Of:

‘Power Of’ is where one person (group, community, society or country) has more of something than another, that the other

needs or wants. This can be knowledge, money, resources, will, skill etc. Even an electricity switch has the power over us, letting us see, keeping us warm, clean, fed and in communication with others. The positive use of this power is when the one with is able to share with the one who is without. Abuse of this power is where they withhold it, where one wins and the other loses. In relationship this dynamic commonly plays out around sex and love, leaving partner’s on the opposite side of the relationship fence.

Power Over:

The ‘Power Over’ model is where one person has power over the other person (or one group over another group, community, society or country). This power comes from a dominant controlling force coercing a lesser power to submit. ‘Power Over’ is maintained through dominance and persistence, certainty and control.

This power can be benevolent, for example, a parent making a child come home at a certain time for their own safety. It may be an impersonal force such as the Tax office requiring your annual tax return, or a government instigating an anti-discrimination policy for you to adhere to.

The one with the power sets the rules, the one under it feels the impact. For example, the person in the relationship with the higher earnings determines where the couple lives. Occasionally ‘Power Over’ can come from underneath, when a victim exhibits a learned helplessness in order to get their needs met. For example, the mother who has sat at home all day feigning tiredness so her husband will fix dinner and put the kids to bed.

At its best, ‘Power Over’ offers a sense of safety, guidance and caring for the one being controlled, such as the husband who organizes care for his ill wife making her feel safe, cared for and loved. It also offers a sense of leadership, direction and sovereignty for the one in power, such as the emotionally intelligent wife holding a nonjudgmental space for her husband to safely feel his emotions.

In the absence of any other model of power, if the oppressed person (group, community, society or country) happens to gain power at any time they often reverse the experience for their former oppressors and dominate them back. Perhaps enjoying their moment of revenge, but mostly not knowing any other way. We see this in the disempowered spouse who badmouths their controlling partner behind their back, enjoying the sympathy of their friends but not addressing the situation directly with their partner.

The negatives in this power model are that it can easily be self-serving and abused through overt anger, covert criticism and manipulation, repression, force, discrimination, corruption, and more, leaving the dominated person feeling powerless and oppressed. ‘Power Over’ by itself is not the healthiest model for relationship.

Power With:

‘Power With’ is about being inclusive, finding common ground and building together through a collective strength. It sees each person (group, community, society or country) as a part of the same team, with their differences as creative opportunities. It seeks to build bridges and minimize conflict rather than create struggle. ‘Power With’ acts not from self-interest, but sees the views and desires of all as having equal value, recognizing and addressing them alike. Honesty, transparency and respect for each other are key parts to this model. Each person is invited to see their actions as part of a greater whole and out of each person’s valued expression comes the insight required to find new ways and solutions for the whole.

Unlike ‘Power Over’, where one person must continually reinforce it to sustain it, ‘Power With’ emerges organically from the process of creating it, and grows stronger the more it is put to use. ‘Power With’ is a form of co-creative collaboration with a common goal.

Rather than a husband saying ‘this is the way it’s going to be because I say’ and the wife ‘going along’ in order to create the minimum amount of conflict (or vice versa) ‘Power With’ offers a different path. The husband and wife get together to discuss their differing desires with the mutual underlying goal of creating a happy relationship through win/win outcomes. John visits his mate and Pauline takes her daughter shopping for baby clothes on Saturday so they can both go cycling together on Sunday. They negotiate their individual wishes for the good of the relationship because they know if the relationship is cared for so will they be.

The negatives in this power model are that it takes a degree of time, experience and skill to practice it. Some people are unable (at least initially) to identify and express their desires and work towards a mutually agreeable outcome. Unless this model is done authentically, with honest input, it can become a place of nobody going anywhere and nothing getting done.

Empowerment:

‘Empowerment’ refers to the unique potential of every person (group, community, society or country) to shape his or her own life and world. It is the ability to take action and create our own outcomes. It is where we as the individual, have the hope and self-confidence to believe we can make a difference. As well as the self-assertiveness, decision making power and ability to learn whatever skills and find whatever resources we need to accomplish our desires. ‘I am empowered to the degree to which I can construct what I need all by myself and don’t have to get it from someone else’.

The negatives in this model are that there are many things in life we cannot do alone, that take more than one person and require a degree of relationship to do so. In fact, there are very few things we accomplish totally alone, even the chair you’re sitting on to read this book was made by another, several others by the time it moves from design, production, sale and transport to your home. Believing we do everything ourselves creates unnecessary arrogance and isolation. And there are many things we choose, even long, to share with others. Intimacy with another is about connecting, sharing and co creating together.

So whilst empowerment is important, we need a further model of power that includes more than just the self.

Power within:

‘Power Within’ comes from an inner sense of self (group, community, society or country) from knowing we are separate to, yet part of the world around us, from having identified our own intrinsic value. ‘Power Within’ means we’re no longer reliant on external sources of power- money, looks, achievements, symbols of status or fame to feel happy or good about ourselves.

Having ‘Power Within’ means we can stay centred, grounded and open hearted no matter what life (or our partner) throws at us. When we become off balanced, as can happen when challenged in life and relationship, we know the place to find our centre, and our answers is within us. It is the power that results from doing deep inner emotional and spiritual work to heal the pain, fears and false beliefs acquired in childhood that create the limited Ego mask we present to the world. The Ego mask that fears loss of safety, security, of self, of those we love or need love from. Without this inner work we are forever stuck in the Ego’s fear based desire for control, for ‘Power Over’ others and outcomes.

To find ‘Power Within’ we connect with ourselves, drop focussing on everything around us, stop giving our power away by looking for it outside of ourselves, stop giving it away by blaming others and making them responsibility for our reality.

‘Power Within’ means we have awareness of others as well as self, with access to empathy and compassion. We can care, connect and share but not at the loss of ourselves. Our goal is growth rather than harmony, but may of course include it. From a place of clarity and mutual respect, we can honestly express our desires, manage our boundaries and explore a multitude of outcomes for any given situation rather than just one or two. Yet we have a strong inner bullshit detector which prevents us from getting caught in a quagmire for long, forming a co-creative power with others for an inspiring end result.

The negative of ‘Power Within’ is that it takes time, effort and skill to find it. However, once you see it you know nothing else is worth it. Once you have it (even moments of it) there are no downsides.

Activity:

In relationship (as in life) we can access the full range of power models according to what is required in any given situation- Power Of, Power Over (benevolent), Power with, Empowerment in the self as well as Power Within.

Examine your relationship power model and see what is working and what more could be achieved through using a range of different power models, whilst being aware of their pluses and minuses. If you are in a relationship where the dominant power is ‘Power Over’ ie. Your partner having power over you in a negative way, your first step is to focus on gaining some ‘Empowerment’ in yourself before tackling any of the other models.

If you are struggling with any unhealthy aspects of power in your relationship email us here or call 1800 TANTRA for support.

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Jealousy: facing the green eyed monster

October 21, 2016 By Annette & Graeme 1 Comment

How you can turn jealousy into a gift…

Without pouring acid onto your partner’s car, throwing their belongings into the street or boiling their rabbit!

Jealousy. It’s a common experience in relationships of the romantic variety, whether for a moment or a lifetime. In fact, we

assume it is almost impossible to have one without the other! Many a great book, movie or song is testament to this fact.

In the early stages of relationship, before a deep level of trust has developed, or to spice things up in a flat spot, a little bit of jealousy can be a good thing. A twinge of uneasiness whilst seeing your partner across the room chatting enthusiastically to an attractive member of the opposite sex can instantly create a spurt of desire for them in yourself!

But jealousy over the long term is a gut churning, painful misery, where trust and happiness seem like a distant memory. The truth is this is saying much more about YOU than your partner. Here we look at how jealousy in ourselves can be a tool for learning rather than suffering.

It is said that jealousy only hurts the one creating it, whether there is a basis of truth in the jealousy or not.

Jealousy seems to thrive on the belief that those we’re jealous of are somehow happy, totally fulfilled, even victorious (whether it’s true or not), whilst we’re left alone filled with a seething mass of unendurable, quite visceral and primal emotions. The intensity of these feelings has us constantly focussing on the betraying partner and their ‘accomplice’, often to the exclusion of everything else. Our view of reality, driven by our out of control emotions becomes warped, making revenge seem like a reasonable response.

Although the perceptions that accompany jealousy may be distorted, the pain it gives rise to is real. The neural circuitry that underlies our psychological response to such complex social events as being accepted or rejected is the same circuitry that underlies the simplest physical pains and pleasures.

Here we’re NOT attempting to excuse our partner if they’ve been behaving in an inappropriate manner, see dealing with infidelity) just to understand what we can do with the hurt we’re experiencing.

The problem with jealousy is that it isn’t just one feeling on its own, it’s a combination of several different feelings ranging from anger and even rage to envy and powerlessness. Underlying all of these is usually shame, because our partner seeking someone else leaves us feeling like we’re somehow inadequate in ourselves, leaving us with a crisis of identity. This shame is enhanced when a partner’s affair becomes public knowledge and everyone who knows us (and even some who don’t) has an opinion and often a vicarious enjoyment of seeing others going through their worst nightmare.

Our jealousy can be compounded by guilt if we believe we’ve done something to somehow ‘deserve’ the other’s behaviour, or by the socially acceptable idea of revenge if we believe we’re the wronged party.

Most of all jealousy feels so extremely uncomfortable we want to get rid of it in any way we can. We do this by wanting our partner to instantly stop doing what it is that makes us jealous, or for what has happened to make us jealous not to have happened. Both these things are outside of our control so here we focus on what we can control.

We do this by breaking jealousy down into its different parts, making it easier to deal with.

Feelings

Rather than ‘thinking’ your feelings and being caught in the merry go round of drama get yourself grounded in your body by feeling your feet on the earth. Breathing helps your body feel safe and you to get more present. Use your mind to scan your body and notice what it is that you’re actually feeling. Allow it to be there, breathe through it. Yes, it can be painful, but accepting it as yours will help you get a handle on it.

Thoughts

Take a look at the thoughts that drive each feeling and see what they’re telling you. See if you can relate to any of the following:

1. Anger

Anger is a feeling of explosive tension and heat in the body, clenched neck & shoulders, with a strong desire to DO something.

Anger related thoughts:

Healthy Anger: “I don’t like this and I want it to change”
Projected anger: “How dare you”, “You’re a bastard/bitch”, “You have no right”
Revenge (aggressive anger): “You hurt me, now I want to hurt you back”
Betrayal: “This is wrong”, “You promised me”
Possessiveness: “She/He is mine and you can’t have them”
Neediness: “I am missing out on my needs being met”

2. Fear

Fear is experienced as butterflies in the solar plexus, a sick churning in the gut, a frozenness with a strong desire to hold on to whatever you can for support.

Fear related thoughts:

Suspicion: “I can’t trust you not to hurt me”
Paranoia: “There is much more going on here than I think/know/am being told”
Envy: “The other is better than me, has something that I don’t” or “I am missing out here”
Insecurity: “I need you, for me to be OK”
Hypervigilance: “To stay in control of myself I must attempt to monitor and control you”
Loss of Control: “I cannot control what is happening”
Powerlessness: “She/He can take you away from me” or “You might leave me”
Abandonment: “I would be lost and could not cope without you”

3. Sadness

Sadness feels like a heaviness in the chest, feeling weighed down, wanting to go inside yourself and have a good cry.

Sadness related thoughts:

Grief: “I have lost something that I loved or that I believed was mine” or “I have lost my fairy tale relationship”

4. Shame:

Numbness feels like a desire to disappear and hide, a not wanting to be seen.

Shame related thoughts:

Self-Invalidation: “This is happening because there is something wrong with me”, “I am not good enough”
Humiliation: “Others will judge me as lacking”

5. Guilt:

Guilt feels like being in an emotional straight jacket.

Guilt related thoughts:

“This is happening because I deserve it in some way”

What you can do about Jealousy:

Understand that your pain is real and that you CAN do something about it other than wish it hadn’t happened/wasn’t happening.

Feeling the real feelings as they exist in your body rather than in the story in your head is a great start. Breathing and feeling through your feelings allows you to become more centred. Your feelings cannot literally hurt you, only what you do with them can. Let your hurt in at least a little bit, and allow it to open your heart. This is the gift of jealousy if we welcome it. Sounds weird but it works.

You’ll find your heart is much, much stronger than you’ve ever imagined if you trust it to care for you.

Once you’ve felt the feelings and reconnected with yourself you can address the underlying issues identified within the feelings.

This is how you take control, by being at choice rather than in reaction in your responses:

Remain connected with yourself and don’t give your power away to your ‘story’. Or to others only too willing to get in on the drama of the situation. Otherwise you’re just abandoning yourself just like your partner has.
Check whether your suspicions real or imagined (don’t get lost in this step).
See your partner’s actions as about them, not you.
See your response as about you, not them.
Give yourself permission to release your anger in a healthy way eg. pounding pillows, dancing wildly or yelling alone in the car.

Ask yourself:

- Is there anything you’re avoiding in yourself by giving jealousy its head?

- Is your partner giving you a not so subtle message that you’ve become emotionally unavailable to to them? Without making yourself responsible for your partner’s behaviour can you own your part in this?

- Are there old, unreleased hurts that are being triggered for healing? Feel them.

- Are you feeling a need to control or possess your partner? Where are you feeling out of control or incomplete in yourself?
- Are you clearly asking for your healthy relationship needs to be met?
- Are you giving yourself permission to have fun and create abundance in your own life?

- If you find yourself envying ‘the other one’ in the affair find the gold in yourself that you’re projecting onto them, turning ‘them’ into a gift for yourself ie. do you see them as more sexual, powerful, free, capable than you? Where can you find these part in yourself?
- Can you go underneath your fear, shame and abandonment and find the part of you that is enough, no matter what?

Talk to your partner:

Own and express your concerns with your partner. Really listen to their response.
Discuss your relationship agreements about acceptable behaviour around others. If you don’t have any, create some.
If your partner is treating you poorly set a healthy boundary for yourself about how you would like to be treated.
If your fears are unfounded own your own jealousy and what strategies you’re putting in place to deal with it. To be jealous is human, to own and deal with it is divine.

To counteract any shame or humiliation find ways to nurture and love yourself, giving yourself the attention you deserve.

If your partner is known to be repeatedly straying outside your relationship and not owning it, or being willing to work with you to heal it it’s different. If you’ve done your own work face the fact that they are unlikely to change and do yourself a favour by moving on. This can be the biggest lesson of all. Otherwise what is this saying about you?

Don’t make jealousy wrong

The vital thing with jealousy is to feel it, and the vulnerability it brings without making it wrong. Take a breath into your jealousy and welcome it in. For if you let it it will open your heart more deeply to parts of yourself you haven’t known before, because jealousy is a powerful heart opener and teacher. See that your jealousy driven stories don’t need to be true.

Know you can be enough in yourself in any circumstances, if you give yourself permission to believe it.

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Relationship Healing Experience

October 1, 2016 By Annette & Graeme Leave a Comment

This is the story of Mark & Jenny’s relationship healing

Mark & Jenny were a couple who sort of believed they still loved each other.
But their daily reality wasn’t bearing that out.

Read how they moved form disconnection, anger and uncertainty into something new and rewarding.

Their story is one unique version of the many couples who come to us from across Australia and overseas for one of our individually focussed Ultimate Couples Getaways. It’s a story of relationship healing…

This is Mark

Mark was working long hours, successful in his business but paying for it through the stress he carried, stress that lead him to slump down in front of the TV at night, with a ‘leave me alone’ wall emanating from him. Which was better than the nights he had to take his anger out on Jenny by picking a fight with her. He wondered if he might be a bit depressed, but this thought was too hard to deal with so he avoided it. He did worry about his almost non existent libido, but didn’t know what to do about it. Mark felt very much in charge at work but when it came to the bedroom he didn’t have the answers and was scared to look. He dealt with his fear by being angry and keeping Jenny at a distance.

This is Jenny

Jenny was a very loving, passionate woman. She longed for more lovemaking in her relationship but she was scared of Mark’s anger and found it impossible to breach his unavailability. Feeling powerless, she carried a lot of frustration about the lack of passion in her relationship, as well as the lack of intimacy that stemmed from it. So much so that she had a luscious affair a few months ago, that ended when her lover ran away from her emotional intensity. This left Jenny even more angry and now feeling guilty as well. She’d was having therapy that helped her feel more normal and less guilty but left her still burdened with a deeper level of ongoing frustration.

Persistence Pays

Jenny urged Mark to consider coming to counselling with her. He was very resistant to the idea of exposing his vulnerabilities to a complete stranger and kept saying no. Jenny kept looking for an answer. She wanted to feel connected with Mark again and have a real relationship, not just go through the motions and look for real intimacy outside of it. Especially after their youngest son, Trent, left home at the end of the year leaving Mark and Jenny alone in the house.

Eventually Jenny found Oztantra’s Ultimate Couples Getaways and spoke to Annette and Graeme about their approach to relationship counselling. Amazed at even being able to speak to them upfront at no cost, Jenny sensed that here were two people who might have the solution she was desperate for. Otherwise it felt like the end of the road for her in her relationship with Mark. Annette and Graeme got right to the point of where she was at and what she wanted, whilst being relaxed and approachable. Jenny felt hopeful.

Something New

Mark agreed to speak to these guys because he could do it from home with minimal commitment from himself. Somehow, speaking to Annette and Graeme felt more like a conversation than any kind of therapy. Yes, a couple of the ideas they brought up were a bit confronting, but in his gut he knew that there was something in it he could trust.

His gut instinct also told him he could trust these two, especially as they could help him laugh about some of his biggest fears without him even having to mention them.

A Good Start

So Mark and Jenny booked a flight to Byron Bay and spent five days having both a holiday in relaxed and sunny Lennox Head, just 15 minutes south of Byron. They didn’t need a car, everything they wished for was in walking distance from their accommodation, including an abundance of great cafes, succulent fresh fish, daily walks and swims, even a local yoga class.

In a relaxed manner Annette & Graeme met them for a coffee even before the sessions started, just to get further acquainted and comfortable with the process. Mark and Jenny were able to choose the time of their sessions to fit in with their desires, with available follow up at a moment’s notice for no extra cost. It still didn’t feel like therapy.

New Pathways

The next day they had their first session – a total of 3 hrs, that went by very fast. Annette & Graeme were able to present a framework of ideas that showed them they weren’t broken and they weren’t alone. What’s more, they saw that what they’d thought were problems were actually pathways to what they both wanted.

Jenny had her beliefs about her sexuality validated. It wasn’t that she was needy or demanding, more that she was following her body’s intuition about the importance of sex for her as part of her vitality and life force, her very survival. In fact, she had felt like she was dying (or crazy) having to shut it down when sex was unavailable. She learned new ways to nurture her sexuality outside of sex that gave her a new lust for life itself.

Mark learned that whilst his libido might not be what it once was there was a whole new place in sex waiting for him that was as good as, if not better that what had gone before. And a big part of it was about him taking the time to look after himself, to relax and not see sex merely as another job he had to ‘perform’ at when he was exhausted. He found a new way to view sex as revitalizing.

Opening the Floodgates

This helped them begin to feel excited once more about their relationship. They also learned some powerful ways to communicate and feel heard about the things that were most important to them. They found so much to talk about, other than the kids and work, which had been the mainstay of their conversations for many years. Mark and Jenny started to really see each other as unique individuals, rather than a source of pain and suffering which helped them trust one another again. This opened the floodgates of desire.

Going deeper they not only recognized where some of their patterns of behaviour came from, they also learned how to get underneath the stories that kept them trapped and hurting to the love underneath. Building on the newfound love Mark and Jenny learned some simple but amazing lovemaking techniques that increased both their intimacy and pleasure. Jenny felt met by Mark in lovemaking as never before. Mark felt freer and more inspired in sex than he had for a long time. They practiced these in the privacy of their accommodation.

Not only this, but it seemed like both their relationship and themselves had healed at a very deep level that was beyond words. They felt seen, held and met by Annette & Graeme in a subtle and powerful way, connecting them to strengths they’d never dreamed they had. And surprisingly there were many healing laughs along the way.

An Excited Beginning

Mark and Jenny felt like they had found a new beginning and couldn’t wait to get started. To help integrate the new changes at home because it takes more than just a few days to change life long patterns, Annette and Graeme offered a follow up Skype session at home, included in the cost.

Even though the couple worked very hard and faced some very challenging things it felt more like an adventure than therapy, with Annette and Graeme riding side saddle beside them.

If you’re looking for your own relationship adventure contact Graeme and Annette today about an Ultimate Couples Getaway on 1800 TANTRA

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